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Crew of the Savage Chicken

Sam Starfall

Captain of the Savage Chicken A sentient, distinctly nonhumanoid alien in a humanoid suit, he's an irresponsible, snarky, but pleasant rogue who delights in annoying authority figures, petty theft and general roguery. He's one of the only sentient aliens to currently be active in human society, though the novelty wore off a while ago.

  • Affectionate Pickpocket: Sam has been known to attempt this -- but then, he's probably tried every thieving-technique in the book, and invented a few himself. (Of course, since everybody knows that he's a notorious thief and pickpocket, this particular technique doesn't work well for him.)
  • Adult Child
  • Blue and Orange Morality: As scavengers, Sam's species regard treachery and theft as impeccably moral behavior. Human attitudes make so little sense to Sam that he often doesn't even understand that his behavior could be objectionable.
  • Cool Old Guy: The "cool" part is debatable, but by his species standards he is old (granted none have lived long enough to die of old age yet)
  • Cthulhumanoid
  • Drives Like Crazy: (70, 97)

 Helix: Florence, standing in a burning building while circus midgets throw knives at you is safer than driving across town with Sam.

Florence Ambrose

The head engineer aboard the Savage Chicken, Florence is a Bowman's Wolf, which are a genetically engineered species created by Ecosystems Unlimited, the company which is also in charge of the terraforming operations on Jean. There are only 14 Bowman's Wolves in existence (11 females and 3 males), which means that they're in grave danger of being abandoned and left to die if they prove a danger to humans; thus, Florence seeks to prove herself trustworthy to everyone she meets, and to always do the right thing, which, naturally, causes her to butt heads with Sam on a regular basis.

Helix

The ship's robot, of a nonhumanoid, round and modular design and the mind of a child. Sam's partner in crime and mischief. Originally built to pick up heavy things, carry them around and set them down.

The Savage Chicken's Computer

Fans call "her" Essie (from S.C. for Savage Chicken).

Polly

An emu Sam and Helix rescued from "a savage pack of tailgaters". Currently residing with the mayor (?).

Robots

Dvorak

Sawtooth Rivergrinder

Blunt

Edge

Benny

"Clippy"

Others

Mr. Kornada

  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: His current plan is to lobotomize all the sentient robots on the planet... and in the process, steal half a billion people's life savings. His justification? He thought of it first, therefore he deserves it. After all, who deserves anything in comparison to him?
  • Hypocrite: Robots are a danger to the entire colony, and thus must be deactivated by a memetic virus. But not his robot, of course.
  • Idiot Ball: Self-consciously and deliberately stupid. To the point of bragging about it.
  • Insane Troll Logic: Of the Corrupt Corporate Executive variety, and dialed up to 11.
  • It's All About Me:
    • Held up as a personal mantra, apparently. He cannot even hear things that he doesn't like.
    • His justification for his most recent actions? He was struck by just how unfair it was that other people had their own money and he didn't. That is, he didn't have their money.
  • Kicked Upstairs: Repeatedly. He's currently the Vice President in charge of paper clips. This bites everyone in the rear end, when he (as a Vice President) is allowed to fill in for someone actually important and competent. He immediately proceeds to think of a way to use his new position to rob a half billion people while simultaneously committing genocide via lobotomy on them.
  • Obliviously Evil: Kornada is an utterly amoral man who is so completely oblivious to the feelings and desires of others that he arranges for a computer program to be written that will lobotomize millions of sentient robots and potentially cripple the terraforming of a planet... so he can steal their money, which he considers unfairly not his. In this strip, he fires a programmer who helped him on the project so that he can have a "disgruntled worker" to blame should anything go wrong.
  • Obstructive Bureaucrat
  • Too Dumb to Live: Almost literally. They had to trick him into running away from a hurricane!

Winston Scudder Thurmad

  • Designer Babies: Winston doesn't explicitly mention being gestated in a test tube, but he was born to parents who were convinced that humanity was going to be all space, all the time by the time he grew up, so they had him genetically modified to fit; the most obvious mod is that he can't grow hair anyplace on his body, but there are others, mostly centered around maintaining things like bone density that would normally deteriorate in zero-gravity.
  • Hospital Hottie: At least to Florence he is.
  • Interspecies Romance: With Florence.
  • Kindly Vet
  • Meaningful Name: Named after Samuel Hubbard Scudder, an entomologist.
  • The Medic: To Florence at least (He's a "mad" veterinarian).
  • Opposites Attract: He has no hair whatsoever while Florence is covered in fur.
  • Space People: His parents were space nuts so they gave him "spacer genes" that allow him to live in zero-gravity without experiencing bone degeneration, and are the reason he's completely hairless. Though he hasn't actually been in space since the trip from home (his parents live in an asteroid though).

The Mayor

 Mayor: You still look terrified. Okay, direct order. You like me. You trust me. You want to make me happy. End order. Better now?

Florence: Emotionally, much better. Intellectually, I think I'm screaming.

Dr. John Bowman

The scientist who created Florence and other Uplifted Animal Wolves and released them in public. Also contributed to the robots' situation.

Maxwell Post

A "procurement expert" and radical agnostic hired by the robots as a spiritual adviser. Also notable for being the only human being known to have successfully picked Sam's pocket, although he failed to notice his own being picked by Sam at the same time.

The Mayor's Assistant

Notes

  1. so to speak, given his displayed lack of intelligence
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