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It takes place in an alternate universe which resembles 21st-century Real Life Japan. All the students are hermaphroditic toddler-like creatures with animal ears and tails. One day, Iruka was walking down the street when he comes across an abandoned kitten. He decides to pick him up, take him home, and name him Naruto. Oh, did we mention the kitten is actually a catboy who is also partially fox? And that he is treated like an animal despite the fact that he is fully sapient? Still with us? Okay...
One day, Naruto complains about feeling sick. Iruka wants to take him to the vet, but decides to take him to a breeder instead because it's closer. Kakashi, a staff member at the breeding agency, determines that Naruto is in heat and whisks him off to the back room to find him a mate. Naruto is resisting, but his complaints fall on deaf ears. It doesn't take long before another catboy named Sasuke takes interest in him. Naruto, however, dislikes him. Nevertheless, they are immediately thrown into a room together to mate because they both belong to rare breeds and must be mated. From there, the story goes on about Naruto and Sasuke's relationship along with the relationships of all the other animal people at the breeding agency - as well as the people that work there.
This story was never finished, with the last chapter added on November 2008. As of 2016, it is no longer on Fanfiction.Net. Incomplete versions can still be found via search engines. It is very much Not Safe for Work.
Not to be confused with a certain James Bond movie, nor its title song by Sheena Easton. It would be less horrifying if it was simply the Naruto characters acting it out. Compare Naruto Veangance Revelaitons, its rival for worst Naruto fanfic. You can read the Protectors of the Plot Continuum sporking here, here, here, and here.
Be warned, this article is full of various types of Squick.
For Your Eyes Only provides examples of:
- Aliens Made Them Do It: Or in this case, humans. While the humans don't directly coerce the demihumans into mating, they tend to have no qualms about putting one that's not ready in with one that will rape anything it sees.
- Alternate Universe Fic: This takes place in what seems to 21st-century Real Life Japan, and for some reason, all of the younger characters are demi-humans.
- Artistic License Biology: Where to beg-FROGS AND RACCOONS HAVING BABIES TOGETHER.
- Felines and canines cannot have babies together, either. Nor can felines and vulpines. Or canines and vulpines.
- Erections lasting THREE DAYS? AT LEAST?! This might have been a misunderstanding of the phenomenon of "knotting". Still fails, as A) knotting only lasts a matter of hours and B) cats don't do it, dogs do. Sasuke is supposedly part wolf, but see the point above about felines and canines not being able to breed together.
- If Naruto had a hymen up his ass HOW was he able he go to the bathroom? As far as one can tell with all the Retcons, the hymen may have been a barrier separating the uterus from the rectum. This does not explain how the critters escape the many potential horrible infections once it's broken.
- Author Appeal: It has all of the author's favorite pairings, and kills off the one character the author didn't like.
- Author Filibuster: The author's notes at the end of each chapter, some of which are completely off-topic.
- Baby Talk: Naruto speaks in a combination of this and You No Take Candle, to the point that he cannot correctly pronounce his own name.
- Crap Saccharine World: Those Petting Zoo People are cute until you realize how they act and what their living conditions are.
- Dead Fic: The fic stopped updating back in 2008, and has since been removed from Fanfiction.net.
- Double Standard: Sasuke walks up to Naruto without even introducing himself, proceeds to plant a Forceful Kiss on him. This is seen as wonderful. But when Sakura so much as flirts with Sasuke, she's killed for it.
- Endangered Species: Naruto and Sasuke belong to rare breeds.
- Everybody Has Lots of Sex: The only couple that don't actually have intercourse (consensual or not) are Iruka and Kakashi.
- Everyone Is Gay: Well, a good 99% of the cast, but it's hard to tell with all the gender confusion going on.
- Everythings Cuter With Kittens: The fic wants to play this straight with the main characters, but thanks to all the Moral Dissonance, it's hard to find them cute.
- Fan Service: Possibly the main point of this fic.
- Gender Equals Breed: Even though they're supposed to be hermaphrodites, when Raccoon!Gaara impregnates Frog!Lee, the resulting tadpole is referred to as a girl while her raccoon twin is referred to as a boy.
- Gorn: The fanfic suddenly gets gory when Sasuke kills Sakura.
- Gratuitous Japanese: To be fair, the author's spelling and usage is better than the average fangirl's.
- Happiness in Slavery: All humanoid animals have no qualms about being owned by humans.
- Hermaphrodites: All the "pets," though the fic seems to forget this. A lot.
- Hot Skitty-On-Wailord Action: Did we mention the frog and the raccoon having babies yet?
- Idiot Ball:
- Naruto holds one throughout the entire fic. The author is trying to make him seem childish and innocent, but instead he comes off as having a mental disability or severe brain damage.
- Iruka seems to be affected at times, especially when he handed over Naruto to be bred despite Naruto's protests.
- The mousegirl version of Hinata is apparently capable of sleeping through Neji having sex with her. This is possible though implausible in real life, even without the use of drugs. However, it's decidedly less plausible that she doesn't notice the lovingly-described mess all over the bed, as it's never mentioned that Neji cleaned it up before she woke. Then again, since she's still apparently a hermaphrodite at this stage, maybe she assumed it was hers.
- In Name Only: The character names and some of their looks are the only things recognizable from the original Naruto canon.
- Informed Attribute: According to the author speaking via Sasuke and Kakashi, Sakura Really Gets Around, but the only time we see her onscreen she's calmly reading a book and rejects Naruto's advances. Allegedly Sasuke killed her for flirting with him, but even assuming he's telling the truth, flirting does not necessarily imply following through. We never see her point of view of her behaviour, as she doesn't get so much as a line of dialogue, and everyone promptly forgets she existed after she's killed.
- Interspecies Romance: Not just interspecies, interCLASS romance!
- Kindhearted Cat Lover: Iruka, who finds and adopts the orphaned Naruto.
- Kissing Cousins: Hinata and Neji
- Loads and Loads of Characters: Includes most of the Naruto characters who had been introduced up to 2008.
- Mix-and-Match Critters: Naruto is part cat, part human, and part fox. Sasuke is part cat, part human, and part wolf.
- Mood Whiplash: Well, it never stops being creepy, but there's a violent change from the unintentionally-creepy attempts at fluff to a very abrupt Gorn sequence when Sasuke kills Sakura.
- Moral Dissonance: Despite the fact that the humanoid animals think, act, and mostly look just like normal people, they are treated completely as livestock. The narration goes on as if this is perfectly okay and natural, and the only ones who have an inkling that something is wrong with this system refuse to do anything about it.
- Odd Breed Out: One can't help but feel sorry for Lee. All the other critters are at least mammalian, and he ended up as a frog.
- Out of Character: Nobody really resembles their cannon personality.
- Pair the Spares: Just about everyone in this fic is paired up with someone.
- Petting Zoo People: All of the characters that were students in the original are now one of these.
- Rape Is Love: And how! Iruka and Kakashi's relationship is the only one of the four major pairings in the fic in which both are entirely consenting from the start.
- Really Gets Around: Sakura, for every male except Naruto. This is deemed sufficient reason to brutally murder her.
- The fic can't seem to make up its mind about what gender anybody is. First it's explained that all of the furries are hermaphrodites, but then later they're suddenly treated as though they have genders and gender roles. Naruto himself keeps going back and forth between being "male" and "female."
- It also can't seem to make up its mind about how these things breed. First it acts like the Seme MUST subdue and rape the Uke to "prove" that the seme is "strong enough" to protect the babies. Later, Sasuke explains that the reason Naruto didn't get pregnant the first time was because the sex wasn't consensual. But when they go at it a second time, Sasuke keeps going even after Naruto tells him to get off. THIS results in a pregnancy.
- Ridiculously Cute Critter: What the author meant the pets to be.
- Small Annoying Creature: What the pets actually come across as.
- Speech Impediment: Nyaruho talksh with a lishp.
- Teen Pregnancy: Naruto becomes pregnant at sixteen in this fic (though he acts much younger).
- Their First Time: For Naruto and Sasuke.
- Third Person Person: Naruto
- Transplanted Character Fic: Take the creepy, demihuman rape-slaves of Pokegirls, add the nonchalant attitude toward slavery of the Gor series, then add the sexist stereotypes of a trashy Romance Novel. Now slap Naruto names on it!
- Voodoo Shark: The increasingly surreal and unlikely attempts to explain how the hermaphrodites' biology works. According to the most detailed attempt, they're all born as externally male with a uterus connected to their rectum, and if they take the Uke role their penis later develops into a vagina and turns them into a "complete female", while the Semes lose the uterus and become "complete males".
- WAFF: What the author is trying to accomplish.
- What Measure Is a Non-Human?: If you're not 100% H. sapiens, you are SCREWED (literally)!
- Wimpification: Up to Eleven with Naruto and Lee. The former was turned into The Ingenue with a dash of Keet, while the latter was turned into an average spineless Uke. Also done to a lesser extent to Iruka, who is also more Ingenue-like.
- Yaoi Guys: Just about every single "male."