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Once this is over, we should really have angry sex.
Bella to Dean, Supernatural
If there's one thing I learned from you, Jack, it's to keep your friends close, and your enemies so close that you're almost kissing.

The Doctor: I've been alone ever since...but not anymore. Don't you see, all we've got is each other!

The Master: Are you asking me out on a date?

Batman: The real Batman never talked to you much, did he? That's probably why you were so fixated on him.

Joker: Don't play psychoanalyst with me, boy!

Batman: Oh, I don't need a degree to figure you out. The real reason you kept coming back was you never got a laugh out of the old man.

Joker: I'm not hearing this...

The Joker: Oh, you. You just couldn't let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You are truly incorruptible, aren't you? Huh? You won't kill me out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won't kill you because you're just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.

Batman: You'll be in a padded cell forever.

The Joker: Maybe we can share one. You know, they'll be doubling up, the rate this city's inhabitants are losing their minds.

Batman: All I've ever wanted to do is kill him. A day doesn't go by I don't think about subjecting him to every horrendous torture he's dealt out to others and them end him.

Joker: Awwww. So you do think about me.
I don't know whether to fuck you or fuck you up!
But being a magic superhero that keeps chasing the same guy? It’s completely gay. And this is coming from a guy who voluntarily has sex with other men!
The Dib? The Dib! I don't care how delicious he is, he is evil!
Zim, Invader Zim
Who's that there? You're security post? One-eye? Forget you, Vanderbeam, that's a guy I could learn to hate. I already hate him so much I'm gonna ask him to hate-marry me.
Therin Zarde, Starslip

I fell for you the moment that you pushed me

You captured me and held me for so long
Phineas and Ferb, from the extended version of the song "Missing My Nemesis"
HE'S MINE! HE ALWAYS HAS BEEN!
Randy Orton on Kofi Kingston, WWE Raw December 7th 2009

Super Ninja (holding what looks like a poster of Chuck Norris): I hate you, Chuck Norris! I hate you, hate you, hate you!!

Linkara: That's why I printed off this huge picture of you! Hate you~! [Beat] Marry me.
Linkara's review of Chuck Norris and the Karate Kommandos #1
What, you just realized your hero was closer to you than anyone else? Come on. That's not a post-career discovery, that's Villainy 101!
I used to fuck guys like you in prison!
Jimmy, Road House

There's a strange exhiliration

In such total detestation!
Wicked, "What Is This Feeling?"
I'll admit in the past I've fantasized about waking up with Will's head on the pillow next to me, except now I picture it attached to the rest of his body.
Sue Sylevester, Glee
Guys, not only is this monster destroying the city, he's coming onto us!

Frohman: So lemme get this straight... you guys complain about every aspect of this game, yet you've been playing every day since 1999?

Fans: Yep - pretty much.

Heatwave:Flash was creative. He'd have run circles around us, spinning away our oxygen

Weather Wizard: Ha! All you do is punch and kick like a child throwing a tantrum!

Captain Cold: The old Scarlet Speedster would vibrate his molecules right outta that bronze.

Weather Wizard: With a smile and an "Aw, shucks" that just made you wanna... rip him to shreds, you know?

(All sigh)

(later)

Heatwave: Is that-?

Captain Cold: He's back!

Weather Wizard: (wipes away tears) I promised myself I wouldn't cry!
Batman the Brave And The Bold, "Requiem for a Scarlet Speedster!"
Does it bother you... bother you at all, really... that Batman likes Catwoman better? (laughing) He'll never love you, sweetheart! You can keep screwing with his city, but he's never gonna take you to the prom!
Lex Luthor to The Joker, Outsiders
It is a little bit of a mini-tragedy that him and Magneto don't, you know, have sex and become married and become best friends.
James McAvoy shares his thoughts on Charles / Erik

Dr. Orpheus: Oh, it must be dreamy to have a costumed nemesis. Chasing you... wringing his gloved hands in concern of your every move...

Dr. Venture: You're kidding, right?

Dr. Orpheus: It just seems so romantic.
The Venture Brothers, "Tag Sale - You're It!"
You're mine. Don't even bother resisting; you'll only make it worse, and that could be painful.
Megatron to Starscream, Transformers
It should be noted that in troll language, the word for friend is exactly the same as the word for enemy.
Andrew Hussie, Homestuck

I wanna hear you scream

I wanna see you bleed

I wanna wrap my hands around that pretty neck and squeeze

If I could make you cry

I swear that I could fly

If it's not clear I wish that you would

Close the door and stay with me tonight
The Homestuck Fan Musicians, "Jack and the Black Queen"
It is a curious subject of observation and inquiry, whether hatred and love be not the same thing at bottom. Each, in its utmost development, supposes a high degree of intimacy and heart-knowledge; each renders one individual dependent for the food of his affections and spiritual fife upon another: each leaves the passionate lover, or the no less passionate hater, forlorn and desolate by the withdrawal of his subject.

Kakashi: So Naruto, you and Sasuke are bitter rivals.

Naruto: Umm, that depends, do bitter rivals like to do sex with each other?

Sakura: If their names are David Bowie and Mick Jagger they do.

Rick: Oh, so you've been going through my Y-fronts have you, Vyvyan? I suppose you fancy me, is that it?

Vyvyan: (pause) Yes! As a matter of fact I do, Rick. I really really fancy you, and I want to give you a big girly kiss on the bottom!

Rick: Urgh, Mike, Vyvyan's gone all funny! He says he wants to kiss my bottom!

Vyvyan: Oh! Did I say kiss you on the bottom? I'm very sorry, what I meant was, stick a pickaxe through your spinal column!

Who will be your pretty little enemy?

When I'm gone your world will prove empty

I promise, you will always remember me.

Could it be that you need me to keep you out, to run you faster

Promise me you'll let me be the one

The worst of all your enemies

Pretending you're a friend to me

Say that we'll be nemeses.
—"Nemeses" by Jonathan Coulton

You and I go back

As far as I can remember

When you swore you'd take the world over

And I did think you're crazy

But also you did look hot in leather

...

How 'bout less psychosis, more romancin'?
—"Then Again, Maybe Not" by Kirby Krackle
I've often wondered what this moment would be like. Me... you tied up. It's a shame you brought the children.
Nikola Tesla to Helen Magnus, Sanctuary
I see you've found my trophy room, Dalton. The only thing missing... is your ass.
Brad Wesley, Road House
Then I shall answer you with unforgiving hate, and unrelenting love!
Nyarlathotep, Demonbane

Helen: Hate and love are not so very different things. Both are focused upon another. Both are intense. Both are passionate.

Harry: And there's not much difference between "kiss" and "kill". If you only look at the letters.
The word "rival" is read as homo. It means getting along so well that people will misunderstand it as homo.
Urabu Shizuru, Fujimura-kun Mates
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