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Main Cast

Harold Quentin Eastwood

File:Eastwood 9523.jpg

A lazy, womanizing fox with a caffiene addiction, pretty much functions as the Designated Hero.

  • Badass Longcoat: Eastwood started out with a black leather trench. These days, his outfit seems to be based off of Columbo's.
  • Berserk Button: What will happen if you either insult, try to take or stand between him and "her" (i.e. his Nescafe)
  • Casanova Wannabe
  • Cunning Like a Fox: Ha, ha, ha, no.
  • Designated Hero
  • Fantastic Racism: His first reaction to meeting Rogue was assuming he was part of a Daemon worshipping sect simply because he was a cat. His attitudes towards other cultures and societies are also... not exactly politically correct. However, Virus points out that Eastwood's behaviour isn't out of any genuine hatred on his part, far from it. He's just really ignorant and stupid.
  • Informed Attribute: He claims that people call him "Dirty Harry" due to his unorthodox methods, his large collection of porn, and that he smells like he hasn't washed in over a week. They're all right, of course, except that no-one has actually called him that throughout the comic.
  • Let's Get Dangerous: Whenever Morth becomes involved in the plot, East gains a sudden burst of competence.
  • Must Have Caffeine: Being reminded that standing between him and his coffee supply is an army of giant spiders is enough to convince Eastwood to charge straight on through. He refers to Nescafe as "her", and when Lothar suggests that he take away his coffee to give Eastwood a chance to give up, he threatens to break Lothar's arm. His cybernetic arm.
  • Not So Different: To Silas Morth. First noted in the most deadpan way possible, however.

 Virus: *describing Morth* A vile wretched creature, who only associates with the most evil and depraved things of this world.

Eastwood: He's also my oldest and dearest friend.

Rogue: Oddly enough, that revelation makes complete sense.

Lothar: Hey, I was about to make a joke along those lines, but he beat me to it.

  • Revolvers Are Just Better
  • Smooch of Victory: He hoped to have one of these from Jamilla after their first major conflict against Silas Morth. Unfortunately for him, saving her involved himself accidentally shooting her in the arm, so he ends up receiving a punch to the jaw instead.
    • However, he did get one from her earlier when he distracted the assassin holding her hostage long enough for the retiring inquisitor to perform a Click Hello on him.
  • Why Did It Have To Be Spiders: His hatred of spiders is only outweighed by his addiction to coffee.

Syrus "The Virus" Zuviel

File:Virus 2415.jpg

A cowardly rat with no common sense, is sometimes the Smart Guy as he has some book sense.

Lothar Hex

File:Lothar 7261.jpg

A trigger-happy genetically-engineered cyborg echidna who'd have a criminal record spanning pages and pages if he weren't recruited by the Inquisition as a mercenary. Nice Hat, though. Pretty much is The Big Guy of the group (or perhaps more accurately The Brute, since he is a lot more ruthless than most big guy heroes).

  • Ax Crazy
  • Big Brother Instinct: By the gods, do NOT mess with his family. Not even your soul will make it out in one piece.
  • Does That Sound Like Fun to You??: The trope namer.
  • Last of His Kind: Lothar, as an echidna, has stated more than once that he is the last of his kind (being a cyborg to boot, it really doesn't help him blend into a crowd). Considering that in the various Sonic-based continuities, echidnas as a race generally are absent and/or extinct until their presence is required for storylines, and that there's been absolutely no references to Knuckles or any other echidnas existing in the same world as the group (and most likely never will be), Lothar could very well be the absolute only echidna left in-universe.
  • Multiple Choice Past: The original backstory was that he was created by an Overlander genetic lab, from which he escaped, and later was captured by Robotnik and partially roboticized. When the comic started, the part about being a genetic experiment was kept, but the origin of his bionics was changed to that listed on the "Does That Sound Like Fun To You?" page. However, Eastwood and Virus thought it odd that he was experimented on twice, so they asked his adoptive father for the real story and found out he stepped on a land mine.
  • Nice Hat: And you will suffer if something happens to it.
  • Psycho for Hire
  • Red Right Hand
  • Swiss Army Weapon
  • The Big Guy

Ryoushi "Rogue" Nekkitou

File:Rogue Nekkitou 7266.jpg

Feline member of a daemon-hunting order who seems to be the most well-balanced person on the entire team. Not that that's saying much. (And he has a lot of arrogance and overconfidence to make up for it.) He was temporarily cycled out, but soon returned to the team (and by "soon", we mean "two arcs".) His common sense and lack of idiotic behavior have him function as The Lancer.

Major Characters

Antonius Schaefer

File:Schaefer 579.jpg

A bear who serves as the cast's superior and Commander-In-Chief of the Meridian Sector of the Mobian Inquisition. Likes to think of himself as an all-seeing, all-knowing, calculating Chessmaster, when in reality he is a blustering, incompetent pervert who only manages to get anything done thanks to his eternally put-upon adjutant, Inquisitor Riktor Simmons.

Riktor Simmons

File:Simmons 5172.jpg

A stoat acting as Schaefer's Aide and right-hand man. Summed up as essentially being very good at his job, but otherwise a snarky git. Has more faith in the team's abilities than Schaefer does, even if that faith is based more on considering them incredibly lucky rather than being legitimately good at their jobs.

Jamilla "The Elusive Camel" Townsend

A penguin spy working for the Inquisitors, though she has worked with the main characters before. Though she was offered a chance to join the group, she declined, citing that she didn't want to end up being a cliche. She had a little something for Eastwood, but after being shot by him (accidentally), their relationship has hit a snag.

  • Everything Is Better With Penguins
  • Non-Mammal Mammaries
  • Non-Indicative Name: Her codename is "The Elusive Camel", but she's actually a Penguin. When asked if she couldn't have picked a better one, she explains all the good code names were taken, and it was either that or "Urinating Flounder". She made the right choice, it seems.
  • Only Sane Penguin: Frequently the voice of rationality when in the company of the four main characters.
  • Rescue Romance: Eh, kinda. She warmed up to Eastwood much more after his actions helped save her from one of Morth's assassins, even kissing him on the cheek (described by Simmons as "the only woman who had ever kissed him without the influence of excessive amounts of alcohol", no less). Unfortunately, him accidentally shooting her in the arm when it came time to rescue her from Morth himself (whom was Eastwood's actual target) seems to have ruined his chances with her for now.
  • The Smurfette Principle: The reason she refused to join the team. Strongly refused, at that.

Silas Morth

A badger who turned to becoming a rogue Inquisitor and daemon-worshiping cult-master. Once Eastwood's best friend and partner, Morth went rogue and is considered one of the most dangerous heretics on the planet. A villain of the old school, he has been defeated by the cast once, but escaped before they could finish him off. Currently at large and plotting his next move against the Inquisition.

Yuri "Wildfire" Keila

A new female feline character that was introduced in Ryoushi's absence, who doesn't appreciate Eastwood's misogyny/constant flirting and doesn't appear to be the best at listening to instructions. Impetuous and inexperienced, with no patience for complex plans and ideas, she is prone to making hasty decisions that make the rest of the team look positively wise in comparison. Currently returned to Taika in a body cast.

  Lothar: "New rule: no member of the team is allowed to have more beam swords than brain cells."

 Rogue: The entire facility?

Virus: And a good chunk of the Ossingo outback.

Rogue: Well, that's why we named her 'Wildfire'. I considered warning you guys, but then I thought: Nah, fuck 'em.

The Dark Gods

The Soulthirster

  • Ambiguous Gender: Referred to as a "he", but that still doesn't stop the other Dark Gods from wondering if he leaves the toilet seat up or down.

 "That's one mystery of the universe I didn't need to think about!"

The Hound


  • Butt Monkey: Not him (He's probably the most powerful of the Big Four), but his followers, who are constantly made fun of thanks to Fernexite demons' affinity for toasters.
  • Cybernetics Eat Your Soul
  • Not So Harmless: He manages to come dangerously close to wiping out both the Inquisition and the Daemon Hunters in the Taika arc.

The Patterner

The Justice Gods

Gruss, The Benevolent Machine God

Tyrus, The Law God

Ahriman, God of Knowledge

Mort, The Death God

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