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File:Eric the Unready cover 7584.jpg

Oh yes, you did it! You got the beast! Now what will you do about the mommy?

An Interactive Fiction game by Bob Bates, released by Legend Entertainment in 1993.

As The Klutz knight Sir Eric the Unready, you must embark on a quest to end all quests — save the princess from an evil plot to take over the kingdom! And, of course, earn some respect for yourself, you unlucky buffoon, you.

This game contains examples of the following tropes:


  "Welcome to Baskin Bobbin's!"

  • Boris Vallejo: Provided the awesome cover art!
  • Butt Monkey: Eric The Unready himself and, by proxy, the player.
  • Copy Protection: You have to buy a new suit of armour once the game starts proper, and the copy protection codes are your armour element sizes, which is All There in the Manual.
  • Curse Escape Clause: A Genre Savvy farmer applies for a knight's help in invoking this for his daughter, whom the local witch has apparently turned into a pig. Sir Eric steps up to the challenge. Averted when it turns out the girl was gone shopping. The pig enjoyed the kiss, at least.
  • The Dev Team Thinks of Everything: Do you want to deflower a sacrifical virgin? You can try, but unfortunately, you have to be THIS TALL to do so, and you are not.
  • Distressed Damsel: The princess Lorealle The Worthy, who Eric is supposed to be saving.
  • Double Entendre: Used repeatedly.

  "She's a typical farmer's daughter with great-looking apples."

  • Doomy Dooms of Doom: One of the many McGuffins Eric has to procure are The Bolt Cutters Of Doom!
  • Edible Bludgeon: How Sir Eric (unwittingly) wins his fight against the dreaded Knight Of the Black Pauldron.
  • Game Show: Eric will have to go through one during his adventures. As tradition holds, it's a mini-game!
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar: Quite a few scenes have detailed reactions for any obscene input from the player, ranging from attempts to consume fecal matter (formulated in any level of vulgarity the player chooses) to attempts at copulating with any female whom Eric encounters.
  • Grumpy Old Man: There are several old knights in the Knight Hall indulging in this.

  "In our day we didn't have lances. We had long sticks that we sharpened with our teeth!"

  • Holy Grail: Parodied with the Holy Grill.
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: You can hardly go for five minutes without tripping over one. Some character names fall into this as well, most prominently with Bud (the) Wizard.
  • Knight Errant: Eric would very much like to consider himself one.
  • Knock-Knock Joke: There are several to be heard, all of them equally cringe-worthy.
  • Love Goddess: You can meet the Goddess of Beauty among the many other expies of the Greek gods and goddesses you encounter. Good luck actually getting her to make love to you!
  • Non Sequitur Thud: Used as a Running Gag, Eric ends up losing consciousness at the end of every day/chapter.
  • Noodle Implements: Until you get around to using them, the McGuffins Eric is supposed to collect feel like a pointless assortment of random (if awesome) items. A pitchfork, a steak, a pair of bolt cutters, a crowbar and a crescent wrench? What?
  • Only the Chosen May Wield: Parodied with the Banana In The Stone.
  • Our Dragons Are Different: Follows the Western version of the dragon, obviously, with the simple addition of Attack Its Weak Point, which conveniently takes shape of a huge target visible on the dragon's body.
  • Physical God: The Greek mythology is present in the setting, except that, well, it's an obstructive bureaucracy.
  • Poor Man's Porn: There are some tittilating woodcuts of the famous singer Lily on sale at the fair.
  • Rape, Pillage and Burn: One of the examples from Grumpy Old Man talk.

  " the rest of us could rush in to kill all the livestock and rape the women. Or was it the other way around?"

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