Double Entendre/Quotes

This girl walks into a bar and orders a Double Entendre. So the Bartender gives it to her! —Traditional

"If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" —Benny Hill, Groucho Marx, Mel Brooks, John Cleese, Black Mage, and many others

"I put the 'in-you' in innuendo." —Gary Dendthwidth, The Physics Of Giving

Hinjo: There's not anyone aboard yet, What's going on here? Lien: This was Lord Shojo's personal pleasure yacht. I suppose it belongs to you now. Lien: This is your junk. Hinjo: But why aren't there any citizens aboard yet? Lien: Your uncle was a very private person, sir. He forbade anyone from touching his junk. Hinjo: Well that ends now. My uncle may have kept his junk for himself, but my junk will be for the people. Hinjo: Are there still evacuvees waiting to board a ship? Lien: Oh, yes sir. I imagine I'll have no trouble finding peopling willing to get aboard your junk. Lien: It should be able to hold many passengers. Hinjo: I agree. My junk appears to be very long... Roy: Wider than I would expect too. Hinjo: Very well. Lien, you will hold my junk here until it is fully loaded. Lien: That could take some time, Lord Hinjo... Hinjo: I don't care how long it takes. I do not want my junk to launch prematurely. Hinjo: Now, did you deliver that package for me? Soldier: Yes, sir. I handled your package personally. Hinjo: Outstanding. —The Order of the Stick, #418: "It's a Type of Boat".

[Hannelore and Marigold exist Marigold's room looking groggy and disheveled.] Angus: Busy night, eh? Hannelore: Yes, very! Angus: It sure sounded like you were enjoying yourselves. Hannelore: Oh no, did we keep you up? I tried to be quiet! Angus: It's cool. It's hard to be quiet when you're that excited. Hannelore: At first I wasn't really sure what was going on, but Marigold explained everything as we went along, and then I just go carried away, you know? Angus: I'm impressed you were able to keep up with her all night like that. Hannelore: Heheh, I'm sorta regretting it now. My butt is all sore! Marigold: HANNELORE, he's IMPLYING-- Angus: No! Don't say it! You'll break the spell! Hannelore: (to Marigold) My favorite part was when you took on those four guys at once! And then that giant dog!

"He came and went at the same time."

Some of the videogame-related double entendres made by Diabetus for their Flights Of Fantasy retsupuraes.

"I think the movie has reached its climax!" —The Nostalgia Chick on Bowie-In-Tights.

"Nothing less than seven inches. That's my motto." —Isabelle Lightwood, The Mortal Instruments

"Mama needs her cough medicine. And make it a double, Antandra." —Jackie Washington, Jackie's Back!

"I'd like to double her entendre!" —The Todd, Scrubs

Ann Romano: Damn it, Schneider! I asked you to fix that damn sink two days ago! Schneider: Oh, I'll fix your sink, Ms. Romano. And by that I mean I'll have sex with you. And by have sex with you, I mean I'll fix your sink. And by "sink," I mean your reproductive organ. And by "reproductive organ", I mean the thing between your knees. And by "the thing between your knees", I...well, I guess that one's kind of self-explanatory. —Family Guy, The Son Also Draws