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  • Most of the movie. Patches, Steve, and White tend to generate these constantly.
  • When White tries to hit on Kate, Peter gives us this:

 Peter: You need some help leaving, White?

White: This doesn't concern you, Lafleur!

Peter: Not nearly as much as your hair does. That's for sure!

  • Apparently, dodgeball is a greater competition than the World Cup, World Series...and World War Two, combined.
  • Patches: "You're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop!"
    • In the TV edit, he says, "poopie-flavored lollipop", which is just as funny (and gross).
    • Moments later, Patches gives an even more devastatingly funny insult: "You couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat!"
  • If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball.
    • And wrenches.
  • "Who's Steve the Pirate?" (later...) "Oh it's Steve the Pirate"
    • Explanation: He doesn't recognize Steve the Pirate when he's in his pirate costume, but instead during the one time in the whole movie that he's in normal clothing.
  • "Fuckin' Chuck Norris."
    • The director stated in the DVD commentary that he wishes he had a way to have that line play on repeat all throughout his house.
  • Patches "...Bye Bye" I dont know why it just cracks me up.
  • When the Girl Scouts get disqualified and one of them walks up to the girl who caused it and says, "God damn you, Bernice!"
  • After White introduces Fran to the Joes, who nails a guy across the bad room with a dodgeball.

 Justin: I think that guy might really be dead!

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