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File:Dirty work norm macdonald poster 2818.jpg

Best friends Mitch (Norm MacDonald) and Sam (Artie Lange) need $50,000 to get Sam's father a life-saving heart operation. Problem is, both are completely incompetent when it comes to holding down a job. That is, until they figure out they can make a living out of the one thing they're actually good at: Revenge!

Co-written by MacDonald, and directed by Bob Saget. Yes, the star of Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos!


 Sam: Did you ever kill anyone?

Mitch: No.

Sam: Did you ever climb Mt. Everest?

Mitch: No.

Sam: Okay. Did you ever say you can see why women find Sean Connery sexy?

Mitch: Nnooooo...!

  • Gone Horribly Right: A guy hires the pair to get back at some obnoxious and noisy neighbors. The pair break into the house and hide fish all over the house to stink up the place. Suddenly said neighbors arrive prompting the two to hide. The neighbors turn out to be mobsters carrying out a drug deal. One of them says "Smells like fish in here," which the others mistake for some sort of code phrase and accuse him of wearing a wire causing a brutal massacre to occur (see Sound-Only Death below). Then the employer shows up...

 Employer: That's it! The noise has GOT TO STOP! [sees the horrible carnage]...Oh my God! I never asked you to do this!

  • Groin Attack: Pops McKenna can really squeeze a pair of balls.

 Mitch: Are you with me?

*dead silence*

Mitch: Okay, are you with me based on the assumption that if I screw up, you all get to kick my ass?

*crowd shouts enthusiastically*

 Sam: Remember in the second grade when we used those rusty soda can tops to become blood brothers? Well, it was really a bunch of trouble for nothing because we were already brothers!

Mitch: Yeah, that's right. Hey, you remember in fifth grade when I was under the monkey bars and I sneaked a peek at your sister's underwear? You remember that? No, no, I was sneaking a peek at my own sister's underwear!

Sam: Hahahaha, that's right! Oh yeah, and remember in the twelfth grade, you had sex with her? Ha—

*awkward silence*

Mitch: Okay, enough reminiscing.

 Kathy: You two are brothers?

Mitch: Yeah, it's a long story.

Sam: My dad boned his mom.

Mitch: Okay, it's a short story.

 Show this guy what we do to cops!


Say hello to the Devil for me!

Behind you!

I've been hit! Pablo, kill them! Kill them!!!

Make your gun spark(?) like the Devil himself!

*More Gunshots*

Burn in hell, you bastards!

Oh, sweet Jesus, he's got me!

Mark, over there! Grab it! I use it to cut firewood!


Now you're killing me with that chainsaw!

He took away my chainsaw, and now he's using it on me!

Oh, God, is that a hand grenade?

*Loud Explosion*

 Sam, are you pissing off the side of the building?

Sort of.

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