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- When John looks utterly out of his element when he is using the computer monitor at the front desk of Nakatomi Plaza to see what floor his wife is on(realize that this is 1988)
John: Cute toy.
- And later:
911 Operator: Whoever you are, this line is for emergency communications only.
- The operators roll their eyes and sighed when he said that.
- Every bit in all the movies when McClane talks to himself like a schizophrenic.
McClane Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs!
- Argyle having a one-man party in his limo while a war is being fought behind him.
- The Santa hat on the dead body in the elevator takes an epic moment and adds some epic hilarity to it.
- John McClane dropping the dead body onto Al's cop car just as the latter is getting ready to chalk the call up to a false alarm and leave, and Al's reaction to it, is way, way, way funnier than it should be.
McClane: Welcome to the party, pal!
- It becomes a Funny Background Event when we cut to Argyle talking on his cellphone.
- Hans decides to buy time against the police by pretending to have terrorist demands for them. The demands he makes are for numerous terrorist prisoners around the world to be released (none of whom have any connection to him), including the "Asian Dawn" organization.
Karl: *mouthing* Asian Dawn?
- "Now I know how a TV dinner feels."
- John McClane verbally bitch-slapping the Deputy Chief of Police when he tries to tell him to back off.
Chief: You listen to me, you little asshole, I--
- Argyle was listening on this conversation.
- Immediately before:
John: Did I destroy the building?
- When the FBI shuts down the electricity to the building, the electromagnetic seal on the vault is lost, and as it opens, Gruber and Theo get looks on their faces that say what they're seeing is beauty incarnate. At that moment, Ode to Joy starts playing.
- It's made even better by how (deliberately) preposterously overblown the scene is: a lens flare shines over Gruber's shoulder like the sun rising, and if you look closely, you can see his hair blowing because of a wind machine.
- Much of Theo's dialogue. His play-by-play of the police's botched attempt to break into the building is particularly memorable.
"'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except...the four assholes coming in on the south side."
- If you pay attention after Hans shoots Takagi, you can see Karl hand a bill to Theo.
- When Hans tries to imitate McClane's Catch Phrase.
- When the terrorists lock-down the building for the police's initial assault, one of them positions himself in a concession stand to assemble his weapons... and help himself to some candy.
- The best bit is how he looks around to make sure nobody's watching first. He's already party to murder, terrorism, and is planning to do a lot more. But it's nicking a butterfinger that he's worried about people seeing.
- In two scenes, Argyle talks to the teddy bear in the backseat.
(talking to John on his cell, but the connection was cut off by the terrorists)
- The exchange between the SWAT team leader and O'Reilly in Die Hard 2, right before O'Reilly and Stuart's henchmen reveal themselves and open fire:
Sergeant: Hey, asshole! What do I look like to you?
- Made funnier still in the TV edit, where "asshole" is replaced with "turkey".
- Earlier, the moment where two of Stuart's henchmen infiltrate the church dressed as utility workers, and this Pre-Mortem One-Liner:
Custodian: Yeah, I kinda feel like a piece of me is dying along with this church.
- McClane escapes an exploding (parked) plane via ejector seat. The camera remains still and McClane flies towards it. His expression and choice of words ("OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!") is absolutely priceless.
- This exchange between McClane and Major Grant:
McClane: I was wrong about you. I thought you were an asshole.
- Shortly after Esperanza's plane lands, he steps out of the door, proclaiming, "Freedom!" McClane immediately steps in front of him and punches him in the face: "Not yet!"
- The off-road drive through Central Park in With a Vengeance:
- You can hear someone scream.
- Many exchanges between McClane and Zeus.
"Trust me, I know what I'm doing."
- The briefcase bomb.
Zeus: You know some kid might come along and find that.
- And later two of Simon's goons are given the bomb by an unkowning Zeus. One of them wants to just leave it behind. The other...
Fake Cop: (in German) What are you doing! Some kid... Put it in the back!
- That scene where Charlie walks into Cobb's office with a briefcase bomb:
Charles Weiss: [comes in] A nut who knows a lot about bombs. We found this in a playground. Professional. Very cool stuff! You know... [thuds the bomb roughly on Cobb's desk] Boom!