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  • User:King Clark: While I was reading throughout the NGE Fanfic Recs, I came across one title that sounded interesting: ARSENAL. It starts off as a Peggy Sue fic, but quickly turns into a rollercoaster of insanity. Throughout the story, Shinji goes around doing ridiculously awesome, yet unquestionally corrupt things as a Necessarily Evil Heroic Sociopath, all in the name of preventing the Third Impact. Shinji starts the story off by doing things that are worse than what Gendo did for most of the series, but nothing too evil. There are signs that the story might be shaky in the way that Shinji causes his new underlings to change their ways quickly, but it isn't anything that isn't unforgivable. Unfortunately, the conclusion of the Black Bunnies arc takes Shinji beyond the Moral Event Horizon and straight into Complete Monster territory (supposedly, this is subjective; I don't buy it) and completely ruins the viewer's ability to like the protaganist in one fell swoop. The three Black Bunnies are all established as extremely immoral and evil, and Shinji decides how he'll deal with them: he plans to use nanomachines to destroy their nervous systems entirely, in order to place them each into a Fate Worse Than Death that is borderline And I Must Scream material. No one has any objections against his decision beforehand (not even Misato, who even helps set up what Shinji has planned for them). As for the punishments themselves, they are as follows (spoilertagged for high amounts of Squick): Kaede, the first Bunny, is subject to 48 hours of Cold-Blooded Torture, and is then forced to become a bodyguard who is coerced into pain if she so much as thinks about her past. This is easily the least harsh of the punishments. Satsuki, the second Bunny, has her brain permanently damaged and reduced to acting as what can best be described as a human dog. To add insult to injury, Shinji decides to give her a collar, make her sleep in a basket and eat out of a bowl, while the only desires that run through her mind are to recieve affection from her "master". He decides then to keep her as a sex slave for no other reason that she would have done the same to him, but mainly because he fucking can. It Gets Worse, though: Aoi, the third Bunny, has her abilities to smell, taste and touch numbed forever, and is left tied up in shackles in a chamber. The population of Tokyo-3 then covers her with graffitti (this isn't even Refuge in Audacity anymore; it's just grotesque and utterly ridiculous). Finally, a man decides to use her as a toilet, all while she can only beg for death. Shinji then gloats about what he's done to his father, and tells him what he's done all while sounding extremely pleased. Afterward, Gendo is visibly disgusted with his son's treatment of the Black Bunnies in spite of the fact that he approved of the use of these nanomachines in the first place. So, does Shinji have a shred of guilt for what he's done? Absolutely not. The only thing that comes close to that is his remembrance of what Asuka said to him in the canon, but that hardly counts. Remember when I said that Shinji's actions were all in the name of stopping the Third Impact? This has absolutely nothing to do with it, so the author just turned an interesting character into a sick freak without a good reason. What's even worse is that the author has claimed that he considers these things to be proportionate punishments to them. No one, not even the worst of Complete Monsters, should experience fates as disturbing as these. The protagonist has practically become a prime example of a Designated Hero with this action, and has been warped beyond recognition from his canonical counterpart. I'm too disgusted with this story to read through it any further, and I'd rather not see whatever the auther turns Asuka into (assuming he's still churning out this filth). It's a shame that They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot, too; from the premise and some pieces of the plot, this story is a prime example of What Could Have Been a good, interesting read. [1]
  • User:Jonn: Harry Potterandthe Invincible Technomage. I stopped reading when Iron Man comes storming into Hogwarts, during breakfast, and gets angry at Dumbledore for putting his son in danger. The person who put Harry in danger was Harry himself. And Dumbledore's response: does he explain the situation? Does he try to take it someplace more private? Does he act like a harmless eccentric? No, he promptly tries to mind control Iron Man. This is so out of character I literally cannot imagine canonical Dumbledore doing it.
    • For me that actually came later, but with the same character. I was willing to accept that this fic was going to use a darker interpretation of Dumbledore, because frankly I think it's a legitimate Alternative Character Interpretation. But at one point Harry and Tony's work on combining magic with technology has led to Muggle music being played on devices in Hogwarts, and Dumbledore is against it. Whatever else you can say about Dumbledore, he is the only character in the books who had anything to do with muggle culture - reading muggle newspapers and liking muggle candies - so I refuse to believe his reaction to this new source of interaction with muggle culture - which even the Slytherins were getting into - would be anything short of delighted. - Time Traveler Jessica
  • User:Mokyn- A How to Train Your Dragon fan fic, Principles and Elements, was one I was actually very much enjoying the first time I read it. It's an AU of the movie that also fits in supernatural elements of witches and vampires to add to the dragons, and while by no means perfect, It was perfectly good in my eyes. Until about chapter 14 or so (my memory is foggy on this). During a big battle between many of these supernatural factions, there is a sentence that says "Bodies fell to the ground like prisoners in a concentration camp." Buh... What?! I'm reading a fun adventure with dragons and witches and things, and the author suddenly decides to pull out Holocaust references?! I had only recently watched Night and Fog at the time, a documentary showing just how gruesome the concentration camps were, so I I immediately got the images of that in my head and back-buttoned out of the fic right then and have yet to return to it. The most annoying thing? They could just written, "Bodies fell to the ground" and the story would not be affected. They used a horrible, horrible moment of human history for a throwaway sentence! This still bothers me even after months of leaving the fic behind.
  • User:REV 6 Pilot on The Sun Soul. In chapter 22, Ash fights Jessie in a battle that ends up with her injured and trapped. Mind you, the Rocket trio is extremely dangerous in this fic, and Ash was almost killed by them on several occasions before then. And he takes her to be treated anyway! He even lampshades how bad the idea is, and we see how dearly he pays for being right later on when she kills Misty. When the author is called out on it, he says he did it like that because bad things happen in the real world for no damn reason. Well, congratulations, Fifty, you managed to lose much more than one reader.
  • User:The Dog Sage: Also on The Sun Soul. Not to mention that 50caliberchaos is wrong. It didn't happen for "no damn reason". It happened because Ash decided to help an enemy who's attempted to kill him and those he cares about on several occasions. His "explanation" is just a cop-out, something that authors use whenever they want to try and justify a Shocking Swerve. And having the character holding the Idiot Ball hang a lampshade on it just makes it worse.
  • The Electric Piper: A Girl Who Brought Down the World crossed the line when it was revealed that the CWC-expy was created by God as a drunken joke.
  • Ack Sed: I accepted the American focus of Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Futures Past; it's a Peggy Sue, write what you know, yadda yadda. Further chapters left that behind. That's good. Then he introduced the ignorant Irish terrorists. As someone who lived through the tail-end of The Troubles, this was in poor taste. I expected far better, especially as he also wrote my favourite story.
  • On Soaring Wings For the most part I tried to enjoy The Laughing Fox, even though I thought the author was kinda a jerkass (Making a poll for whether he should spare Zabuza, and Haku then telling everyone it didn't matter what they picked, he was still killing them off.) But then there comes a massive Moral Event Horizon that makes the entire series completely unreadable when Batman, John Stewart, Nightwing, and Martian Manhunter are captured by Konoha ninjas where Joker is currently living. The heroes are then brutally tortured, muliated, and psychologically broken. in the worst ways I could possibly imagine. At no point whatsoever does anyone ever question the morality of this action, not even The Third Hokage! Designated Hero does not even begin to describe it.
  • Super Saiya Man: From the well known and beloved fanfic, A Mothers Love by Lord in the Land of Fire. Okay, I can forgive Four-Tailed Naruto taking down a noob MS Sasuke (even though it was an Infuriating Anticlimax), I can forgive Orochimaru going down so easily. I can forgive Gaara's death. What I can't forgive? Naruto fodderizing all of the Akatsuki, including his counters Pain and Kisame, the second he regains the Fox and controls it. Seriously, LILOF could have made an epic, several chapter spanning arc of a Hokage Naruto who just mastered the Fox taking on Akatsuki if he wanted to do it alone. Instead... he fodderizes them in one chapter. Nevermind actually justifying the Uchiha Massacre in this universe when they became Properly Paranoid about Naruto's intentions to their clan after several biased posts. In canon, its rather ambiguous. Here? Konoha deserved that rebellion...but instead Konoha goes on and conquers all nations, Naruto gets a second wife, and starts a Pax Romana. How much more God Mode Sue can you get?
  • Super Chaos: I've never liked Pokemon Revolution by Farla (mainly because she takes the animal rights thing too far) and Charles Rocketboy, but the absolute low point is chapter 17, when Ash and Gary suddenly become even more out of character than they already were. Random juvenile insults (dickhead, etc.) are thrown as Ash and Gary are fighting for no real reason. WTF.
  • Gun Psycho: Past Sins, despite being well-written, is pretty bland but tolerable for the most part thus far (Not so much just reading it but commentating on it as well to be honest) until chapter 10. The absolute nadir for me was the part where Queen Nyxie trying to bring about eternal night just because it was what was expected of her. (to be fair, she was abandoned, but a might extreme a reaction don't you think?) I pretty much stopped caring after that part. However, since I started "reading" the story, that doesn't mean I'm turning back now.
    • 45xxx: I have my own moment from Past Sins. Namely, Spell Nexus brainwashing Twilight in chapter 16. Why? ... let me explain it to you like this: I really find it a little wrong to brainwash a mother to tell their child to their face how much they don't like said child. Even better is when said mother attacks their child, and the brainwasher in question uses this as an excuse to hang said mother. I've only read chapter 16 all the way through once, and, since then, I skip that large part. If it wasn't for Nyx saving Twilight from being hung near the end, I would've skipped the chapter entirely.
  • Some New Guy: The Reset Button in Nobody Dies, mainly because it completely negates all the excellent Character Development of season 4. Ichi is back to being a near-catatonic wreck. Uri is back to being an overprotective, arrogant asshole. Mana is still a slave in all but name to NHIS. Gendo still hates Ichi for something that wasn't even her fault. All because the author wanted to appease the Vocal Minority that disliked season 4.
  • kablammin 45: This otherwise cool fanfic about Ed Edd and Eddy in Kingdom Hearts has the chapter in the link, which midway through, the world of Johnny Test blown up. Call it a Crowning Moment of Awesome, but for this troper, who is pretty much neutral to that series, with the lack of angst from the good guys, as well as some mean spirited mockery at some poor dude who wanted Johnny in it, for this troper it kinda crossed the line btween CMOA to Dude, Not Funny. (Of course YMMV)
  • A Black Raptor: For me, a relatively good story called Spider-Man: Partners reached its DMOS in chapter 50 when the author seems to have gone through a phase of no longer caring about grammer. Nobody in the story since has been able to convey realistic dialog. At times it seems just a little out of character, but Between Chapter 50 to 53 (possibly moreso, since as of this writing chapter 54 only just came out and I'm yet to read it, but 53 seemed to improve) the dialog has became so bad that it looks like a child has written it.
  • Goldude: I enjoy The Vinyl Scratch Tapes, and I'd really like to continue enjoying it. However, there's something that's stopping me. In the latest chapter, Luna visited Blueblood's and Trixie's radio show. After some talking, Luna tells the both of them that their justice was misplaced. Then Vinyl Scratch shows up, prompting Luna to Kick the Dog by convincing Vinyl that she's a horrible person. This is horrendous for a number of reasons. First, there's the fact that Celestia was completely fine with Vinyl calling her out like that. Celestia never got angry, she never even got irritated. If what Luna said about there being no other choice about Celestia banishing Luna to the moon, then why didn't Celestia not have any problem at all with Vinyl Scratch calling her out? Secondly, Luna had just gotten finished teaching both Blueblood and Trixie a lesson about getting justice when there's no need to. Since Celestia had absolutely no problem at all with being called out, this makes Luna the one trying to achieve justice when there's no need for it. So not only is Luna a complete jerk, she's also a hypocrite. Third, there's the matter of making the banishing Luna to the Moon being no other choice canon. There's no signs of this being true in any of the earlier chapters, so this just comes completely out of left-field. This also makes the fact that this development either makes Celestia stupid for not telling Vinyl that there was no choice, or Luna is completely misinformed, making her a complete jerk, a hypocrite, and stupid.
    • Tropers/45xxx: Buddy, you hit the nail on the head. That chapter I hated for the bit you described. In fact, I still hate in spite of the Author's Saving Throw done in the next chapter. (Brief aside: I don't think Luna was LEGITIMATELY sorry for what she did. This pisses me off even more.)

Notes

  1. Phew. That sure took a while, didn't it?
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