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File:Destroy all humans.jpg

 "Aaah! Little green spacemen!"

"I am not green!"

Destroy All Humans! is a Wide Open Sandbox action game released in 2005 by Pandemic Games.

Taking place in a satirical version of America in The Fifties, it follows a sarcastic, trigger-happy "grey" alien named Cryptosporidium-137 (or just "Crypto" for short). Crypto's species, the Furons, have been rendered sterile through centuries of nuclear warfare, and are dependent on cloning to reproduce. To keep their genetic code from becoming too corrupted, the Furons must steal DNA from human brainstems. Apparently, Furon sailors on furlough left some untainted genes in the human pool back when the species still had genitals. Unfortunately, it seems Crypto's predecessor, Cryptosporidium-136, has been captured by The Government. Crypto's mission is to harvest human brains, find out what happened to the last Crypto, and generally cause mayhem. Along the way, Crypto confronts paranoia, mad science, the military, a government conspiracy, and exploding cows.

It was followed up by a sequel taking place in an exaggerated version of The Sixties, and a third game taking places in The Seventies came out recently. Was pitched to FOX for a potential television show, but it was not to be.

Also notable for being pitched by Matt Harding. Yes, as in "Where the hell is".

Not to be confused with Kill All Humans.


Destroy All Humans! provides examples of:

  Crypto: This is for The Master, and because I don't like you, and for your Bogus. Satin. JAMMIES!

  • Animeland: Takoshima (from the second game) is inhabited by schoolgirls, salarymen, ninjas and a giant monster.
  • Anticlimax Boss: An irritating number of examples, though some are more because of you can become rather overpowered over the course of the game (Meteor Gun, anyone?)
    • Silhouette and possibly General Armquist, though Armquist was definitely more of a challenge. Played horribly straight in DAH!3, in which some of the bosses barely even move, and especially if you have an upgraded Ion Detonator, except for Henri Crousteau.
  • Anyone Can Die: Humans are definitely subject to this a lot more then Furons, but three lead protagonists and one supporting protagonist die. Subverted with the furons, because they can clone themselves.
  • Arbitrary Skepticism: Crypto believes Bigfoot to be a crock.
  • Attack of the 50 Foot Whatever: In the first game, the final mission is a two-tiered boss fight named Attack of the 50 Foot President, in which the first boss is a 50 foot tall robot with the President's brain inside. In DAH!2, Takoshima, a thinly-veiled parody of Japan, gets attacked by a Godzillaesque Blisk monster called Kojira.
  • Awesome Moment of Crowning: Pox finally gets a reward after being dead for 10 years.
  • Back Tracking
  • Badass: Crypto. Also Pox, to some extent.
  • Bag of Spilling: In the second game, thanks to the destruction of the mothership.
  • Battle Theme Music
  • Beehive Barrier: Most Furon shields have this pattern.
  • Berserk Button: Don't call Crypto green.
  • BFG
  • Big No: In the third game, Crypto yells out a big one after the Master dies. This one is so big in fact, Crypto needs to take a breath before finishing it.
  • Bland-Name Product: The titular restaurant mascot / Humongous Mecha from Big Willy Unleashed is suspiciously similar to the mascot of the Big Boy restaurant chain.
  • Shields As Hit Points
  • Body Snatcher
  • Boldly Coming: The reason why every human being has some Furon DNA.
  • Boss in Mook Clothing: The Yeti.
  • Brains and Brawn: Pox and Crypto. "Don't look at me, Pox handles all the technical stuff, I just... Blow stuff up."
  • Brain In a Jar
  • Brain Uploading: In Destroy All Humans! 2, Orthopox uploads his consciousness into a HoloPox Unit just before the mothership is destroyed by a Soviet missile.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall
  • Breather Level
  • Call Back: There are several to the first game in the second game.
  • Catch Phrase: "Pathetic Humans!" "Monkey!" and even the game title, "Destroy All Humans!"
  • Charged Attack: Anal probe in the first game. Also the Ion Detonator.
  • Chickification: Natalya. How many times do we have to escort her to her car?!
  • Cloudcuckoolander: The Town Crazy in the first game, and The Freak in the 2nd game.
  • Clone Degeneration: The reason the Furons are screwed without pure Furon DNA.
  • Color Coded for Your Convenience: All the weapons, handheld and vehicle alike, are associated with a color and a symbol. Zap-O-Matic is blue, Anal Probe is green, Death Ray is red, etc.
    • In the second game, you have to shoot glowing orbs with the right weapon to proceed, with the orbs being color-coded for the right weapon.
    • In the third game, your primary enemies, the Nexos, serve as the police for for the Fourth Ring. Their weakest level is blue, their medium level is the regular green, and the toughest level is red.
  • Color-Coded Multiplayer
  • Conspiracy Theorist
  • Continuity Drift: The third game's plot seems just a tad bit off in some places.
  • Continuity Nod
  • Conveniently Coherent Thoughts: When you read people's minds, they give you a succinct sentence. Maybe not a relevant one, but what did you expect?
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment: "Oh, God! Not Beethoven! ANYTHING BUT BEETHOVEN!"
  • Cool Car: Crypto's Flying Saucer, and the Big Willy Mech in the Wii Spin Off.
  • Cool Old Guy: The Master
  • Cool Ship: The saucer, especially in the third game.
  • Crapsack World
  • Crate Expectations: Largely played straight, and then the second game hangs a very heavy lampshade on it.
    • "Say, Pox, what d'you suppose all these crates are lying around for? What could they need with this many crates?" This continues for a while, until Pox finally says, "I think they get the point, Crypto."
    • The first game did too; if you read the mind of a dockworker, he mentions that he hates his job. "Push crate, climb crate, jump on crate, destroy crate...that's not fun!"
  • Crop Circles: Of course.
  • Cutscene
  • Cutscene Incompetence: And how. If you kill a Nexo with PK, it's smoking and Crypto is holding his Disintegrator ray in the cutscene.
  • Deadly Gas: Radiation in the second game. Big Willy's Windbreaker is a literal example in Big Willy Unleashed.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Crypto
    • Orthopox also makes frequent quips at the human race's expense (and sometimes Crypto's).
  • Death Is a Slap on The Wrist: In the second game, whenever Crypto dies, his clone is placed in the exact spot where he died, and he continues his duties.
    • The second game plays around with this in a very interesting optional boss fight. The final mission in the Arkvoodle cult tree has the figurehead leader of the cult deciding he doesn't want to listen to you anymore and attacking you. Arkvoodle grants him a number of "extra lives" equal to the number of times you've had to respawn so far. Even worse, if you die fighting him, you have to start the fight over AND he gets another life. Ouch.
  • Death Ray: Part of Crypto's arsenal.
  • Death Trap: The toxic alien gas bubble Natalya is trapped in, in the second game.
  • Destroyable Items
  • Dirty Communists: The KGB
  • The Dragon: Crypto plays this three times. Mostly to Pox, but also to The Master, and ultimately he and Pox are this to Emperor Meningitis. At least until Emperor Meningitis dies and Pox becomes Emperor.
  • Dodge This

 Silhouette: We will continue to resist you!

Crypto: Resist this. *squish*

 White Ninja Leader: Wrong! Supplier stop selling gray fabric. We wanted to be black ninja, but bastards put their order in first!

 Milenkov: Maybe you wouldn't be so arrogant if you knew of my, FIENDISH MASTER PLAN!

Crypto: Alright already! Let's hear your damn plan. Geez, you guys just gotta have your monologues.

 Meningitis: Pox? Is that you? What have you done with your body? And what's that with you? Oh, it's your little house boy, Klepto!

Crypto: CRYP-TO.

Meningitis: Whatever!

 Crypto: Hey, you know, that big blue mudball starts to grow on ya. I mean at first you think it's a boil but-

Natalya: It's alright Crypto. You don't have to pretend. I know how you feel about humans.

Crypto: Weeellll... not all humans.

  Crypto: Attention Blisk! I am Cryptosporidium of the planet Furon. This planet is a territory of the Furon Empire! And your asses belong to me!

 Silhouette: We will continue to resist you!

Crypto: Resist this. *squish*

 Crypto: You're a chick?!

Silhouette: I'm a patriot! If you had to put up with politicians playing grab-ass all day, you'd wear a mask too!

 Pox:Great Arkvoodle! The fools think we have a musical language!

Crypto:Nobody talks music, that's stupid!

 Crypto: (To Dr. Go!) My name is Luk-I mean, Cryptosporidium. I'm here to rescue you.

 Pox: (In reference to Crypto being Son of Arkvoodle) Crypto! What if it's true?! What if you're THE ONE?!

Crypto: Well, I did take a red pill this morning, heheh.


Crypto has just conquered a single TV Tropes page. After the credits roll, the rest of the website comes into view, with The End? appearing as ominous, eerie theremin-laced music plays.

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