FANDOM


Farm-Fresh balanceYMMVTransmit blueRadarWikEd fancyquotesQuotes • (Emoticon happyFunnyHeartHeartwarmingSilk award star gold 3Awesome) • RefridgeratorFridgeGroupCharactersScript editFanfic RecsSkull0Nightmare FuelRsz 1rsz 2rsz 1shout-out iconShout OutMagnifierPlotGota iconoTear JerkerBug-silkHeadscratchersHelpTriviaWMGFilmRoll-smallRecapRainbowHo YayPhoto linkImage LinksNyan-Cat-OriginalMemesHaiku-wide-iconHaikuLaconicLibrary science symbol SourceSetting

Dead Connie Society is Family Guy fanfic by Lurkerbunny. It started out with a simple question: "What If Robin Williams did a guest voice on Family Guy?"

The plot: Meg Griffin has decided to take poetry class as an elective in hopes that she will not only find a place to express herself, but also a place away from her tormentor, Connie D'Amico. Unfortunately for Meg, Connie is in the class for the sake of being near a cute boy. But fortunately for Meg, the teacher, Rodney Weaver is a free-thinking Blithe Spirit who inspires her. And he's cute too. As time goes by, Meg's feelings for Mr. Weaver grow stronger, and soon it becomes clear that he also has feelings for her. He manages to talk the rest of The Griffin family to into treating Meg right, but meanwhile, Connie is determined to make Meg look bad in front of him. She ends up humiliating Meg in swimming class while Mr. Weaver is in the room, but instead of making him dislike Meg, she ends up triggering a flashback to his own humiliation by a girl not unlike her.

It's payback time.

The first fanfic I've completed in four years (though you really don't want to know about my early stuff, you really don't), Dead Connie Society is filled with tropes, many referred to by their trope names. It's got a lot of jokes that in many ways are true to the spirit of the show (which means there is some Dead Baby Comedy as well as some stuff I came up with at the last minute). It may not ever become a classic, or even a cult classic, but hopefully it's decent enough that I won't go down in history as someone who wrote a Family Guy fic that's bad even by Family Guy standards.

Posted on Deviant ART in three parts on October 12th, 2009.


Featured Tropes (Hoo boy):

Cquote1

 Robin: Pam... it has been so long since we've seen each other! Who'd have thought it would take Family Guy of all shows to- (she grabs him and kisses him for several seconds)

Pam: I have missed doing that SO MUCH! (walks away, satisfied)

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Lois: Well, it's just that sometimes teenage girls can be such a pain to raise. Sometimes you lose your temper... sometimes you say things you don't mean... sometimes you dump hot spaghetti on her face and shove the meatballs down her throat during her "vegetarian" phase.

Cquote2

And later:

Cquote1

 Meg: So, what are we going to do to her? Are we gonna hack her Facebook account? Are we gonna raid her My Space page? Are we gonna rape her?

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Retro Rachel: What-ever! You know, this whole scenario is a big rip-off of Heathers. When I get home, I'm gonna go watch it... on VHS. And then I'm gonna read a book!

Boy #1: What's VHS?

Boy #2: What's a book?

Cquote2
  • Expy: Mr. Weaver, of John Keating... at first.
  • Fetish: Meg likes Mr. Weaver's hairy arms, while he thinks it would be hot if she wore Connie's fluffy pink jacket during sex. * Hilarious in Hindsight: This fic was completed long before "Dial Meg For Murder" aired, but it was pretty awesome to see Meg deliver some sort of soda-related punishment to Connie on-screen (even if it wasn't fatal). Oh, and the dominance kiss. Looks like my scene of Meg suggesting she and Mr. Weaver rape Connie together wasn't that far-fetched.
  • Humor Dissonance: The scenes where Robin's characters are supposedly improvising (to the delight of other characters. Well, most characters anyway) aren't really funny. That is because although I am quite good at spoken improvisation, I cannot capture Robin's magic in a fanfic. Rest assured, were this an actual script to be recorded in a studio by Robin, those parts would say "Robin can go off here".
  • It's Been Done: Every single character lampshades the fact that yes, we're homaging Heathers.
    • Later, Meg wants to honor Mr. Weaver by re-creating the "Oh Captain My Captain" scene from Dead Poets Society, but one classmate points out that the scene was already parodied in "The one where Brian becomes a teacher". She does it anyway at the airport.
    • Then there's a literal example of The Simpsons Already Did It when Mr. Weaver hands Meg a note saying "You Are Meg Griffin". He gets confronted by Matt Groening's lawyers on the plane
  • Kent Brockman News: The fact that JOLT cola (and other sodas from the company) are still being made is more discussed than Connie's "suicide". In addition, Tom Tucker makes inappropriate remarks about Connie on the air.
Cquote1

 Tom Tucker: So, there you have it, the tragedy of a girl raised to be a beauty, only to end up a self-loathing beast. Next up, the hot topless women that Google didn't let you see on Street View... until now!

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Meg: [Connie's torment of me has gone on] Ever since middle school. I remember the exact day I met her: September 1, 1995.

Mr. Weaver: (pause) How old are you again?

Meg: 17. [1]

Cquote2
    • Also:
Cquote1

 (as Connie is buying beer with a fake ID)

Joe: Hey, she shouldn't be here!

Cleveland: Oh I don't know. It's kinda hard to tell her age considering she and Meg and all the other high school girls seem to have been in the same grade forever.

Quagmire: Yep, if there's one thing I love about Quahog, it's the vaguely-aged high school girls. Giggity, giggity, giggity!

Cquote2
Cquote1
Cquote2
Cquote1

 Connie: (laughs derisively) Poor, deluded Meg. You will never be truly happy. You know why? Because you're the universe's Butt Monkey. You were MADE to be the butt monkey. Even if the universe throws you a bone... or banana or whatever once in a while, it will soon be taken from you because Status Quo Is God.

Meg: Oh yeah? I'm savvy too. And I know this is all a dream. I'll just think of something really loud to wake me up.

Cquote2
Cquote1

 Mr. Weaver: I guess the lesson here is that if someone is horrible enough, you can get away with killing them out of revenge!

Meg: Really? I thought it was that you shouldn't torment the "different" kids in high school. (narrows eyes) Because you'll pay for it. With your life.

Mr. Weaver: Well, either way is pretty warped.

Cquote2
  • Stylistic Suck: Both Meg and Mr. Weaver's poetry.
  • Take That: Twilight, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Miley Cyrus, and Meg-bashers (hell, bullies in general).
  • Teacher-Student Romance: Meg and Mr. Weaver, obviously. A flashback cutaway shows that this was also the (thankfully one-sided students love teacher) case when he taught elementary school.
  • The Eighties: The era Mr. Weaver was in high school. Also the obsession of Retro Rachel, of course. However, while Family Guy typically has a nostalgic view of the era, one cutaway shows that Robert Crumb's sex-and-drugs obsessed Fritz the Cat did not have a good time then. (Ironically, the latter two hook up at the end, at least temporarily.)
  • Too Dumb to Live: Connie, who doesn't grasp that hiding drain cleaner in a bottle of soda would be a more obvious deception than hiding it in a mug (well, more like Too Hung Over To Live, but it's the same result).
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.