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- Birdy the drunken scarecrow literally pimping out the game manual. "You love manual long time."
- Pretty much the whole of "Sloprano" (the fight with The Great Mighty Poo).
- Don't forget Gregg the Grim Reaper; the guy may only show his face for three short cutscenes in the game, but they were awesome ones.
Gregg: Bloody things, I hate those bloody cats! The way they meow and they piss everywhere and their shit just smells bloody awful! All over my furniture!
Gregg: I don't bloody believe it! They've got fish versions of the little bastards now!
- Screw it, every damn chracter. Some of the choicer lines:
The Fire Imps: "You see that button?" "Yeah?" "The one with the.." "Yeah?" "Press it." Brass Balls deployed
Two Tediz doctors: "Now if you were to give this game, to say, 20 or 30 intelligent people, what would that do? Let's face it, what would it do-" *click* "What the fuck?! It's that bloody squirrel, quick, back into character! Me slice you-- *random Tediz gibberish*"
Conker to Fangy: "Now I know you're not usually a vegetarian, but I think it might be time for the meat and two veg, if you know what I mean. Looks like he needs a bit of tenderizing, though.
- In Bats Tower:
Carl: "Ey up, bloody hell. Go on, put it on quick. Put it on, I like it like that. Ohhh...Ahhhh. Fan-f*cking-tastic!"
Conker: "Oh, hang on, I think I got it on the wrong way round.
Carl: "Like bugger you have! What're you doin? Wha... Oh, F*ck!"
- In the "It's War" chapter:
The SHC General: "Right, form an orderly line. Oh wait, there's only one of you. Now, here are the plans. 0830, boat will arrive, we depart. Now, 0825 -- wait, 0830 - Aw f*ck that shit!" "I don't know what I been told, dud do doo doo -- uh, I don't know but -- Aw f*ck that shit!"
- "Were your parents related? Like, before they were married?"
- After the mostly-serious Conkula cutscene, there is a violent ramming at the door.
Conkula: Oh, shit. The villagers again.
- This is slightly funnier in the X Box re-make, since the censor beep practically comes out of nowhere.
- "Time to wander around, aimlessly"