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I have no words...

Some smart people claim that humans have only two main focusses in life, Sex and Death. Some other smart people seem to agree and decide to blend these two themes together in the works they produce.

Coming And Going occurs when Sex and Death are associated closely together by the way the narrative is presented to the audience. It is very similar, though different to Death by Sex, which specifically refers to a sex scene which causes a character's death, either directly or by provoking a genre convention. Coming And Going occurs when a sex act doesn't cause or pre-empt a death, but is linked with it by the way the scenes are framed close together. Often, the lovers will not even be aware of the death and sometimes don't even have any direct connection to the dead/dying character(s).

Similar to Birth-Death Juxtaposition, except this trope focusses mainly on Sex itself rather than the act of giving birth. Conception may occur, which can often lead to Someone to Remember Him By. Out with a Bang, being a subtrope of Death by Sex, is also closely related. Also compare "Glad to Be Alive" Sex.

The Coming And Going theme can be used with numerous tones: to build drama, suspense, ick factor, or just throw the audience a shattering curveball.

A subtrope of Coming And Going is A Naked Shoulder to Cry On.

Examples of Coming and Going include:


  • Amelie: Implied. A one-shot extra crosses the name of his recently deceased friend out of his little black book at the exact same moment as the title character's conception (only the sperm entering the egg is shown).
  • In Backdraft one of Alec Baldwin's brothers gets to send his fireman into his girlfriend's internal inferno while at that same moment, one of his fire fighter bretheren is just about to be critically injured out on a call. Mightn't quite qualify as the fireman doesn't die, but the theme of fragile mortality is heavy.
  • The second sex scene in Cabin Fever is broken up with a shot of the two lovers' friend dying of a flesh eating disease.
  • Cemetery Man features a sex scene that takes place in a cemetary, on top of a grave. To top it off, they do it right beside the fresh grave of the young woman's recently deceased husband. Subsequently turns out to be a Death By Sex scene.
  • The 2009 remake of Children of the Corn has a sex scene completely unrelated to the plot towards the end of the movie. The scene depicts an occult fertility ritual which involves two teens having sex in a church in front of all the Children Of The Corn. The scene is interspliced with scenes of the main character stumbling around a cornfield, encountering dead bodies of the cult members he'd already killed. The two scenes culminate with the hero's cries of anguish echoing the woman's orgasm screams. Strong association with Birth-Death Juxtaposition as the ceremony's purpose was to impregnate the woman. This also implies Someone to Remember Him By with the film's conclusion.
  • In Bram Stoker's Dracula, Jonathon Harker is seduced by three undead lady vampires, he doesn't actually have any rigor moitus coitus because the Count himself interrupts them. The vampire ladies eat a baby instead.
  • Red Dragon: The killer recieves a blowjob while watching video footage of the family he plans to murder.
  • Scent of a Woman: Pacino outlines his long weekend plans, the key points on his itinery being to get laid one last time and soon after commit suicide. Technically not Death by Sex, nor Out with a Bang as the sex and his death, which doesn't actually happen, are two seperate events.
  • In Swordfish, the main character is simultaneously given a blow job on orders from the master criminal, while being held at gunpoint by the same guy.
  • Taking Lives features a sex scene between a lead detective and the star witness, surrounded by crime scene photos of all the murder victims, which are shown briefly in closeup.
  • Team America: World Police: The wild puppet sex scene is immediately followed by a terrorist attack in another country that kills many people.


  • Castle: Vaguely. In one episode, the prime suspect's alibi for his best friend's murder is the confession that he was having sex with the victim's wife at the time.
  • True Blood juxtaposes Sam making love to Luna with his brother Tommy taking a fatal beating on Sam's behalf from Luna's jealous ex-husband.

Video Games

  • Fahrenheit (2005 video game) features a sex scene in which the man is essentially a walking corpse (unknown to the woman). Heightened by the fact that the woman is talking about humanity's probable immanent extinction just before they do the deed. Almost an "Out with a Bang" or "A Great Way To Go", except neither of the lovers seem resigned to dying and point of fact, neither of them do.
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