Charlie Sheen has Become as powerful as Chuck Norris through some ancient ritual involving winning and tiger blood, but can't handle the power, which has turned him into a crazy awesome mad man.

Charlie Sheen is dead.

He recently said "Yeah, I'm on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available because if you try it once you'll die." What more proof do you need?

  • But he's giving interviews and such. You're saying Charlie Sheen simultaneously kills you and reanimates your corpse? ...Awesome.
    • That's what happens when you're "a total, bitchin' rock star from Mars."
  • He said if you try it once you'll die. He tried it twice. Which makes sense now.

Charlie Sheen is not crazy.

Sheen is really someone who is dedcated to acting more then anything else, and he know he wouldn't be able to get that many big gigs after 2&1/2 men, even though it will make him alot of money. Sheen preped what he was going to say, since nobody could make that stuff up off the top of there head, hired actresses, since he getting a big income, and waited till he had enough money. Then, when the time was right, he set his plan into motion. He values acting even more then his own family, so he dosn't care what happens to them following this plan. soon he is going to admit himself into a clinic, stay there for a few months, come out and pull a robert downy jr on us.

He was trying to get fired.

There were some rumors floating about that he had a deal with HBO for a new show, but ABC wouldn't let him out of his contract with "2 1/2 Men". In order to get out of it, he staged a "meltdown" in order to ruin the show and free him up to do other projects. Now, as of 3/2011, HBO is denying any such deal exists, but that hasn't stopped Sheen from making comments to the contrary. Of course, it's sort of hard to guage how much truth is nested within the tangled web of memes the guy is spewing.

  • Let's say he wanted out of his contract to do Anger Management. He pulls a Batman Gambit so masterful that Chuck Lorre can't help but let him go.
    • Even better, it was a Xanatos Gambit: If he gets fired, he gets to do Anger Management. If he doesn't he stays on the hottest comedy in the US. Bi-winning indeed.

Contract negotiations.

He wants more money, or control, and said basically, give it, or I'm taking the show down in flames. He's paid alot, but he's wants a piece of the gross not the net.

Charlie Sheen actually has magic powers.

This one's been suggested by Scott Adams.

There is actually an order of assassin warlocks working for the Vatican.

Charlie Sheen is the high priest, of course. To deflect any suspicions, Charlie Sheen mentions them in his rants, making them appear to be the ramblings of an unbalanced person.

Charlie Sheen picked a fight with a warlock.

He won and stole the warlock's power.

Charlie Sheen is a Time Lord.

And no, I'm not just saying this for the sake of an overdone meme. Listen to the way he talks about himself and the stuff he does, and it's like he's perfectly describing the Time War.

Charlie Sheen is from Planet Zeenu

With Zeenu being Zeenu he became a warlock. He later toured the galaxy as a rockstar with the final stop being on Mars. He looks human thanks to an I.D. Mask. Also his mom was a Zeenubian Tiger and his dad was named Adonis.

Charlie Sheen really is Winning.

Well why not?

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