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  • "I'm shocked! Shocked that there's gambling going on in here." "Your winnings, sir." "Ah, thank you very much."
    • Louis has a bunch of these. When he's reminded there's a gun pointed at his heart: "That is my least vulnerable spot."
  • This exchange:

 Ugarte: You despise me, don't you?

Rick: If I gave you any thought I probably would.

  • And this:

 Rick: How'd you get in here? You're underage.

Young Woman: I came with Captain Rénault.

Rick: (rolls eyes) I should've known...

Young Woman: (primly) My husband is with me also.

Rick: Oh, he is? Well, Louis must be getting broad-minded.

  • The Blind Idiot Translation of a couple of German refugees who have decided to only speak English, in preparation for moving to America.

 Husband: "Liebchen-- er, sweetnessheart... what watch?"

Wife: (checks time) "Ten watch."

Husband: "Such much?"

    • And Karl's reaction: "...You will get along beautifully in America."
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