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CM = "Comedy Master"? Probably not, but these moments could possibly make you belive so.


 You know, it's funny, I'm actually Not Wearing Pants, and that's how I watch NXT every week.

  • "He's not a chicken, you're a turkey!" (It's at around 3:25.) How can a reference to a 90s PSA be so funny?
  • During a Natalya vs Melina match, Lay Cool were on commentary along with CM Punk, Jerry Lawler, and Josh Matthews. Early on in the match, the four were all arguing very loudly and CM Punk shouted out "everybody shut up!".
  • CM Punk was golden on commentary during the later part of 2010. From his reading of the anonymous GM's email, to his excitement at winning his Slammy, to his confusion as to who Eve was when the other commentators brought her up.
  • On the December 6, 2010 edition of Raw, John Cena was clearing the announce table to put Wade Barrett through it. Punk was concerned over Cena spilling his diet soda as he did so the previous week when he did it to Health Slater. Cena gently hands Punk his diet soda before he finishes clearing the table and Punk tosses it in disgust. Later, Cena handed him one of his arm bands and Punk almost immediately chucked it back at him.

 Punk: This is not the Spanish Announcers Table! Very immature! He spilled my diet soda!

  • Earlier in the night, the GM sent a message while Michael Cole was in the ring, meaning Punk got to read the message. For once, the audience didn't piss all over the segment. As a matter of fact, they even chanted his name. Punk proceeded to subtly but surely mock Cole's self-important delivery style.

 "I HAVE RECEIVED AN EMAIL!"

 CM Punk: Hey Colt Cabana, how ya doing?

Whoops, I'm Breaking the Fourth Wall!

  • Punk talking with Vince McMahon about his contract: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FouccjzEEPU
    • "My first demand is that you bring back WWE ice cream bars." [huge pop] "See, Vince? I just made you a million dollars on ice cream sales right there!"
      • The fact that "WE WANT ICE CREAM" could ever make sense in context to a wrestling show is just hilarious.
      • His second demand? "I want my face on EVERYTHING! Including the turnbuckles!"
        • Just imagine turnbuckles with Punk's free floating head with goofing smile on them. You're welcome.
  • During the early part of Punk's WWE match with John Cena in Chicago at Money in the Bank 2011, the partisan CM Punk crowd began chanting, "You can't wrestle!"-- a common chant directed at Cena in situations where the crowd's vehemently against him. Punk actually responded to the crowd. "Who, me?" "NOOOOO!" "Oh, him?" "YEAAAAH!" "Oh, okay."
    • And after that match was over, Alberto Del Rio on Vince McMahon's orders tried to cash in the briefcase he had just won earlier that night. Just when Vince and everyone else thought they knew where this was going, Punk kicked Del Rio in the back of the head and knocked him out cold - then ran out through the crowd with the title belt...while Vince proceeded to have a Villainous Breakdown.
  • Punk invades Comic Con and he an Triple H get into it.

  CM Punk: Why don't you have Stephanie McMahon give me a call? I'm sure she's got my number!"

    • Of course, Trips deserves some points for this:

 CM Punk: How's fantasy land?

Triple H: How's the unemployment line?

Crowd: Oooohhhhh..

  CM Punk: It's not a belt, its a championship title!! It's not a belt. It's not a strap. It's not a trophy. You can't even lift it up!! It weighs more than you do!

  • August 1, 2011: Triple H announces that CM Punk and John Cena's title feud will be settled at Summerslam before leaving the two to their own devices. So Punk removes his belt and raises it victoriously to his theme music. Cena responds by raising his own belt, cutting off Punk's music. Not to be outdone, Punk raises his belt higher, cutting off Cena's music. The next few minutes are spent with the two constantly trying to out-do each other in pops, the audio alternating every few seconds between Punk and Cena's theme songs.
  • "And bitching, and bitching, and bitching..." Poor, poor Christian.
  • "Hey, you wanna see the message my little sister sent me? (pulls out cell phone, reads) 'OMG Kevin Nash WTF thought he was dead LOL'."
    • "Don't answer this; it's a rhetorical question. If Triple H asked you to jump off a building would you? Because I think that would be good for business.
  • CM Punk does weather. Nothing else need to be said.
  • His reaction to Triple H making him the announcing team on the October 10th, 2011 episode by virtue of being the only one of the four men presently working in the building not involved in the match. He honestly looks like a kid in a candy shop.

 CM Punk: (overjoyed) Can I wear your blazer?!

HHH: You can even wear my blazer.

Punk: I'M IN!!!

HHH: Uh... One last thing: when you get down there, I'm gonna need you to do double duty. Not only are you gonna do commentary, if you wouldn't mind -- please ring the bell.

Punk: *rubbing his thumb and forefinger together* Pay, right?

HHH: Double pay!

Punk rushes to table.

    • As well as:

 Do not adjust your television sets, ladies and gentlemen. We are in Bizarro World.

 CM Punk: If you say, "Because it's my destiny!", I swear to Jeebus I'm going to start drinking.

 Steve Austin: You want a beer?

CM Punk: What?

(Stone Cold glares at Punk)

Steve Austin: A shot of whiskey?

CM Punk: What?

Steve Austin: Vodka?

CM Punk: What?

Steve Austin: Anything?!

(pause)

CM Punk: What?

  • Piece of advice for The Miz: When handcuffing CM Punk, like during the WWE Championship TLC match, make sure to cuff his feet, or he will kick your head-whoops, never mind!
  • This article has a collection of some of the more outlandish stuff that happens at house shows and after the show goes off the air. Punk is clearly having a little too much fun when the cameras are off.
  • CM "Drunk" rants takes a sobriety test.

 CM Punk: This whole thing's ridiculous, Teddy and you know it's ridiculous. (to Jericho) You know its.. you're not even cool, it's ridiculous. You have police officer's out here. John Laurinitis knows it's ridiculous I know it's ridiculous. And the entire WWF Universe knows this is ridiculous.

  • This is more of a CMoF for the crowd, but when Chris Jericho called out Punk for seeing him go into an English pub, he retaliates by saying "I can't go to a pub in merry ol' England and have some fish and chips with a friend of mine?!". The crowd cheers and then very appropriately starts chanting "FISH AND CHIPS! FISH AND CHIPS!"
  • When taking audience questions during his panel at the 2012 Wiazrd World convention in Philladelphia, Punk is asked a very simple question - "Are you going to get rid of John Cena's stupid spinner belt?". Cue the crowd & Punk bursting into laughter... Mostly because the question came from a kid, part of Cena's target demographic!
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