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"Practice on a hotdog first. Otherwise you might rip your dick off."—Medtech, Family Guy, "Something Something Dark Side"
For some odd reason or another, a character receives a new hand(s), or is now capable of using their hands, etc. The instant implication is that the hands will then be used for masturbation, or are designed for this deed.
Of course, this is a specific example of A Date with Rosie Palms. Maybe that date's in the planning stages...
- Discussed in Leviathan Wakes by James S. A. Corey. A minor character loses his hand in a setting where good prosthetics exist, and another character tells him there's a period in the prosthetic acclimatization that he should take advantage of where you have enough control over the hand to masturbate, but it still doesn't feel like it's your hand doing it.
- There's a somewhat similar situation in one of the Doctor Who Eighth Doctor Adventures novels involving a war veteran who has an injury that causes his arm to constantly shake. A woman jokes about the "advantages", making the Doctor confused and everyone else uncomfortable and embarrassed.
- On one episode of The One Show, Peter Kay was in the studio during an item on robotic prosthetic hands. They had an example of the breed on the desk, and he jokingly asked to take it home a number of times, with the heavy implication that he plans to do this.
- Happens with Jambi the Genie in the original Pee Wee Herman Show stage play.
- The Big Bang Theory: Howard + cutting-edge robotic hand. Hilarity Ensues.
- In Goblins, Dies-Horribly loses his hand in an adventurer attack, but a friendly refugee from a Douglas Adams novel saves him and gives him a replacement limb, made from a strange form of living metal. It's got the strength of metal, but is nearly as light as his original flesh, and can instantly reform if damaged. It also grows hooks, barbs and sharp edges on reflex if Dies-Horribly is scared (which happens a lot). Dies-Horribly comments that he'll have to be more careful where he puts that hand, demonstrating it with a... recognizeable motion. He then immediately denies the implications, claiming that he meant scratching an itch.
Dies-Horribly: For a floating, metal orb, you sure have a perverted mind!
- Ctrl+Alt+Del: AUUUGHWHY?!
- Exploitation Now: Among other improvements, Jordan Kennedy fitted her prosthetic hand with a vibrator mode...
- God Mode once explored the prospect of masturbating with a God Hand.
- In the Unsounded universe, some models of simulacra include features for this very purpose.
- In one of the earliest episodes, Fry's hands get eaten by a T. rex. He's then taken to a "Handcrafters" store to get new hands. He says "I'll break them in tonight."
- In The Devil's Hands are Idle Playthings, he switches hands with the robot devil. While the Robot Devil's hands immediately try to choke Fry, the robot devil complains that Fry's hands "keep touching me! In places!". Fry responds: "Yeah, they get around".
- In the second Family Guy Star Wars Special, Chris/Luke Skywalker gets a replacement hand. The doctor tells him "I'd practice on a hot dog first".
- The "practice on a hot dog" line was earlier said in The Venture Brothers, in the true history of Billy's hand.
- Ben 10: Alien Force: One of Ben's alien enemies was trapped in a duplicate of Ben's body. Among his complaints: the hands, which had an alarming tendency to touch "places I suspect are inappropriate."
- Surprisingly inverted in an episode of American Dad. Steve's hand is rendered numb, and the standard implication is that he would try to give himself a stranger. However, he is robbed of the sexual experience of getting to second base, because he can't feel anything.
- In an episode of Code Monkeys, Jerry gets a replacement hand, a la Darth Vader. To make sure it works, Dave blindfolds Jerry, and then has him test it out on him.