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  • (A cop in the opening skit from Self-Titled Album) "It's not my job to help your fuckin' ass out. Right now my job is eatin' these doughnuts."
  • (Skit in which Ice T is interviewed by a writer for a Heavy Metal magazine) "I just don't...feel your music." "Feel this!" [gunshots]
    • "Damn, I felt know, actually, I did feel that last album, come to think about it..." [more gunshots]
  • "You don't like our music, go buy that fuckin' Hootie and the Blowfish album, you think I give a fuck?"
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