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  • "Mongo only pawn in game of life."
  • Sheriff Bart stops an elderly woman on the street to politely say good morning and her response is very... politically incorrect, at best. Mel Brooks is the only person who could make "Up yours, nigger!" funny enough to cause pants-changing.
  • The campfire scene. Cowboys + baked beans...
    • One of the first fart jokes on film. As Mel Brooks himself once said, "It truly broke ground, and it broke wind."

 Lyle: How about some more beans, Mr. Taggart?

Taggart: I'd say you've had enough! *Waving off the stink with his hat*

  • Bart and Jim trying to infiltrate Hedy's gang:

 Hedley: Qualifications?

"Klansman"!Bart: Stampedin' cattle.

Hedley: That's not much of a crime.

"Klansman"!Bart: ...through the Vatican?

Hedley: Kinky! Sign here.

(Bart goes to sign the paper, but accidentally reveals his obviously African-American hands)

"Klansman"!Jim: (panicking) What have I told you about washing up after a weekly cross burning?! (flips up to show Bart's lighter-colored palms)See, its coming off. (Taggart whips off the hood to reveal Bart)

Bart: And now, for my next impression...Jesse Owens! (runs away)

Hedley: (as the rest of the hired goons give chase) Catch them! SEIZE THEM!!

Taggart: (shouting right next to Hedley's ear) WE'LL HEAD 'EM OFF AT THE PASS!!

Hedley: (cringing in disgust) ..."Head them off at the pass?" I HATE that cliche! (shoots Taggart in the foot)

    • The whole scene with all the gangs is just fantastic. Like the guy with the gum... Who gets shot for not having brought enough for all of them. And of course:

 Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?

Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.

Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.

Applicant: I like rape.

    • (An applicant starting to sign in when Hedley Lamarr notices he's chewing gum)

 Hedley: Gum eh, well I hope you brought enough for everybody!

Applicant: (Stammering) I...I didn't know there was gonna be so many! (Hedley promptly shoots him)

Jim: "Boy, is he strict!"

    • Especially when said to the woman who's actually talking about Hedy Lamarr.

 Lady at Grauman's Chinese Theatre: "Look, Herman, I'm in Hedy Lamar's shoes!

Hedley Lamarr: Hedley!

  "They lose me after the bunker scene."

    • And everyone get caught in the food fight, including Tarzan!
  • "Nevermind that shit, HERE COMES MONGO!"
  • "I will now read from the book of Matthew, Mark, Luke... *CRASH* ...and duck."
  • "I must've killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille."
  • " The town saloon was always lively / But never nasty or obscene / Behind the bar stood Anal Johnson / He always kept things nice and clean" *BELCH* *SPIT*
  • "Someone's gotta go back and get a shit load of dimes!"
  • "Oh, blow it out yer ass, Howard!"
  • Bart approaches Rock Ridge:

 "Hey! The sheriff is a nig-" *bell rings*

"What'd he say?"

"He said the sheriff is near!"

"No, goldangit dangblammit! The sheriff is a NIG-" *bell rings*

  • Camptown Ladies.
    • "What in the wide, wide world of sports is going on here?!"
      • "I hired you to get a little track laid, not to dance around like a buncha Kansas City faggots!"
  • Right before that, when, in response to a request for a "nigger work song", Bart and the workers respond with an a capella version of "I Get a Kick Out of You" by Cole Porter.
    • "Hold it, hold it, what the hell is that shit?"
  • Hey, Where Da White Women At?
  • Right when Hedley is about to start the attack on Rock Ridge:

 Hedley: Now Repeat After Me: "I..."

Thugs: I...

Hedley: ...your name...

Thugs: Your name...

Hedley: (under his breath) Schmucks... (aloud) Pledge allegiance...

Thugs: Pledge allegiance...

Hedley: To Hedley Lamarr...

Thugs: To Hedy Lamarr...

Hedley: That's HEDLEY!

Thugs: That's HEDLEY!

 Director: Have you all got it?!

Dancers: Yessssss

Director: Sounds like steam escaping.

  • The conversation between Bart and the Waco Kid:

 Bart: Steady as a rock.

The Waco Kid: Yeah, but I shoot with this hand. (Holds up shaking left hand)

 Governor Will J. Le Petomane: HOLY UNDERWEAR! Sheriff murdered?! Innocent women and children blown to bits?! We gotta protect our phoney-baloney jobs! We need to do something about this, IMMEDIATELY! IMMEDIATELY!! IMMEDIATELY!!! Harumph! Harumph! Harumph! (Other staff members start harumphing as well. Singles out one member, pointing at him...) I didn't get a "harumph" outta that guy!

Hedley Lamar: Give the governor a "harumph"!

Board Member: HARUMPH!

    • You watch your ass!
    • And then there is this:

  Governor Will J. Le Petomane: Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work... (Leans over to talk to the voluptuous busty red-headed secretary's cleavage.) Hello, boys! Have a good-night's rest? I missed you!

  • This:

 Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives!

Taggart: Gol durnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use yer tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

(Hedley glares at Taggart)

Hedley: Shitkicker.

  • The Musical Number scene when the fight spill over into other productions

 Director: What are you people doing?! This is a closed set!

Taggart: Fuck that, I'm working for Mel Brooks!

Director: (Cringes) Not in the face! (Taggart punches him in the stomach, he stumbles) Thank you (Drop)

Dancer: They hit Buddy (to rest of the trope) C'mon girls! (They join in on the fight)

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