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Sally, a history student, is having a hard time of it, and the last thing she wants is for her tutor, Dr Evelyn Smythe, to turn up and tell her a long, rambling story about pirates.
But Dr Smythe won't be dissuaded. In fact, she even invites her friend and travelling companion, the Doctor, into Sally's apartment so they can take turns with the pirate story, which Evelyn insists is true even though Sally points out that it's a transparent Self-Insert Fic set in a mess of pirate cliches.
As the story goes on, though, Sally starts to see some uncomfortable similarities to her own life--in particular, to a very recent, very painful, very personal loss... her lover, killed in a car crash. She was driving. She doesn't think she can go on.
The pirate story starts getting darker, too, so the Doctor decides that the only way to cheer them all up is... to turn it into a musical!
- Aristocrats Are Evil: Captain Swann isn't evil so much as spoiled and useless.
- Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better: The Doctor and Merryweather have a song about this.
- Boarding Party
- Buried Treasure
- Cliff Hanger: After a few hints and hums from the Doctor, episode 2 ends with the following exchange...
Doctor: Why, you could almost say I was the very model of a Gallifreyan buccaneer. [song cue begins to play]
- Drinking Contest
- Eyepatch of Power: Red Jasper.
- Framing Device: The Doctor and Evelyn tell Sally a story.
- Gilbert and Sullivan
- Ham-to-Ham Combat: Colin Baker's Sixth Doctor versus Bill Oddie's Long John Silver Expy Red Jasper.
- Hook Hand: Evelyn inintially claims Red Jasper has two hooks for hands. When Sally points out that he would not be able to fire a pistol, Evelyn admits she was embellishing, but it is not clear if Jasper has one hook or none.
- Inexplicable Treasure Chests: Played with--Evelyn invents some treasure for the Sea Eagle to be carrying, so it'd sound more like a pirate story.
- Karma Houdini: Capt. Swann.
- Memento MacGuffin / Orphan's Plot Trinket: Jem's compass.
- Mobile Shrubbery / Trojan Horse: The Doctor and Evelyn hide in barrels, hoping to get taken aboard Red Jasper's ship as booty. It doesn't work.
- Mood Whiplash: An light-hearted romp set during the golden age of piracy gets pretty damn dark before the eventual dawn.
- Musical Episode: And all acquit themselves very well!
- The Mutiny
- Patter Song: "I Am the Very Model of a Gallifreyan Buccaneer"
- Pepper Sneeze
- Pirate Booty
- Pirate Girl: The Doctor claims Evelyn is 'Evil Evelyn, the Pirate Queen'. The masquerade works... briefly.
- Self-Insert Fic: Sally accuses Evelyn of this.
- Shaggy Dog Story
- Sissy Villain: Captain Swann.
- Talk Like a Pirate
- Treasure Map
- Upper Class Twit: Captain Swann
- Walk the Plank