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  • Betelgeuse answering Barbara and Adam's question about his qualifications...

 Betelgeuse: Ah. Well, I attended Juilliard. I'm a graduate of the Harvard Business School. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that! I've seen The Exorcist ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT! NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY!!! NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? ...you think I'm qualified?

    • The following scene where Betelgeuse gets asked "Can you be scary?"

 Betelgeuse: Can I be scary? Well What do you think of this?

(camera shifts behind him as something happens to his face as it explodes)

(Barbara and Adam both freak out)

Betelgeuse (back to normal): You like it?

  • The scene in which Betelgeuse kicks a tree in the model and knocks it over before yelling "Nice F-ing model!" and grabbing himself in a rather obscene way. I was laughing so hard from the "Honk Honk" sound effects.
  • "I would rather talk about-" DAY-O, DAY-O
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