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- Alfred gets a few in his Servile Snarker role.
- Upon hearing someone refer to Batman as "insane," he remarks to Bruce, "What rot, sir! Why, you're the very paragon of sanity. By the way, I've pressed your tights and put away your exploding gas balls." "Thank you, Alfred."
- And then there's this:
Batman: You think you know everything about me, don't you?
Alfred: I diapered your bottom, I bloody well ought to... sir.
- The Joker is terrifying in this movie, but he does get some of the best lines. Hell, even his Dynamic Entry is amusing:
Joker: (after shooting up the singing machines) I hate that song! (he sees Salvatore Valestra) GASP! Can it be?! Old Sally "The Weezer" Valestra! Welcome, Pizon! It's been a dog's age!
Sal: (visibly nervous and sweating) Hello, Joker. Didn't mean to drop by unannounced.
Joker: Nonsense! Mi casanostra es su casanostra! (shoves him) So what's an old timer like you want with a two timer like me?
Sal: Business. I've got--
Joker: (runs over, ecstatic) Ooh, business! Sounds like fun! (shoves Sal into one of the rides) Come! I've prepared a more comfortable environment. Now, hold onto your hat and watch those valuables (slams the safety bar into Sal's crotch!). It's going to be a bumpy ride. (cue maniacal laughter)
- He gets one more when they arrive at his "humble abode".
Joker: (sees his tiny robotic dog at his feet) Don't mind my home security. Down, Rusty! (field goal kicks the dog off screen) Can't be too careful with all those weirdos around!
- Earlier, when the Phantasm confronts Sal in his home, only to see how the Joker's killed him and strapped a camera to his lap (in addition to oodles of high explosives)...
Joker: Whoops! Guess the joke is on me, you're not Batman after all. Looks like there's a new face in Gotham and soon his name will be aaaaall over town...to say nothing of his legs, and feet, and spleen, and head...[KRAK-OOM!]
- Most of Andrea's lines are amazing, mostly due to her being a great Deadpan Snarker.
Andrea: (watching Bruce practice martial arts) What is that?
Bruce: (glares at her)
Andrea: That was a joke.
Bruce: Jujitsu is no joke. It takes years to master. (Andrea walks over, grabs his arm, and executes an awesome shoulder throw) HEY!
Andrea: Got a few moves of my own. Miss Hovey's self defense class for girls.
Andrea: (offended) He laughs.
(Bruce trips her and pins her)
Andrea: Nice foot work. Can you dance too?
(Bruce smiles and they kiss. Alfred starts to walk over with drinks, notices them kissing, and quickly exits)