Bastion/Funny

• Any time the narrator snarks.

"And then the Kid fell to his death." (Kid immediately falls back onto the play area) "Naw, I'm just foolin'."

• • "You can turn that bull any way you want. It'll still be ugly."
  • "Kid just rages for a while..."
  • "Know how many times The Kid nearly fell off that barge?... not even once."
  • "He cuts down every Stabweed like there's going to be a prize for it."
  • Upon equipping both the Mortar and the Calamity Cannon:

"Now that's just overkill. I mean really -- come on."

• • Upon falling off of the Bastion:

"I've been meaning to put some guard rails there."

• • There are some unused audio files in the game that are actually pretty funny. Link

This microphone smells funny. You find that old boat? Plant it. You find a rusty, old pocket watch? Plant it. Find a copy of Terminator 2 on laserdisk? Plant it. You find a pair of socks? Plant it. You find a Milli Vanilli casette tape? Plant it.

• • Upon equipping the Fire Bellows and the War Machete:

"We could have ourselves a mighty fine cookout with those items. Too bad that's not what we're doing."

• Anytime that a particularly hard boss is defeated by... falling off the playfield. This tends to happen a lot with Scumbags and Lunkheads.
  • Killing a boss with the explosion-on-death effect from Hearty Punch is pretty funny, too, especially if you weren't expecting it/forgot you had it on. Queen Anne the Anklegator is particularly vulnerable to this.
• The Kid lands at any given area... flat on his face.