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  • Any time the narrator snarks.

 "And then the Kid fell to his death."

(Kid immediately falls back onto the play area)

"Naw, I'm just foolin'."

    • "You can turn that bull any way you want. It'll still be ugly."
    • "Kid just rages for a while..."
    • "Know how many times The Kid nearly fell off that barge?... not even once."
    • "He cuts down every Stabweed like there's going to be a prize for it."
    • Upon equipping both the Mortar and the Calamity Cannon:

  "Now that's just overkill. I mean really -- come on."

    • Upon falling off of the Bastion:

  "I've been meaning to put some guard rails there."

    • There are some unused audio files in the game that are actually pretty funny. Link

 This microphone smells funny.

You find that old boat? Plant it.

You find a rusty, old pocket watch? Plant it.

Find a copy of Terminator 2 on laserdisk? Plant it.

You find a pair of socks? Plant it.

You find a Milli Vanilli casette tape? Plant it.

    • Upon equipping the Fire Bellows and the War Machete:

  "We could have ourselves a mighty fine cookout with those items. Too bad that's not what we're doing."

  • Anytime that a particularly hard boss is defeated by... falling off the playfield. This tends to happen a lot with Scumbags and Lunkheads.
    • Killing a boss with the explosion-on-death effect from Hearty Punch is pretty funny, too, especially if you weren't expecting it/forgot you had it on. Queen Anne the Anklegator is particularly vulnerable to this.
  • The Kid lands at any given area... flat on his face.
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