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A form of sarcastic rejoinder, responding to an improbable statement with another improbable statement.

 Bob: I'm actually the High King Bobertissimus in disguise!

Alice: Yeah, and I'm the Pope on a skiing holiday.

Popular forms include "I'm the Queen of Sheba" and "I'm a monkey's uncle".

Can lead to interesting results if Bob takes Alice at her word, which may be because he's constitutionally deaf to sarcasm, doesn't expect her to disbelieve him, or doesn't recognise the improbability of her statement. Or Bob may sarcastically reference Alice's statement when his improbable statement is proved true; see Cue the Flying Pigs.

See also Or My Name Isn't.

Examples of And I'm the Queen of Sheba include:


Film -- Live Action

 "Yes, this is a castle. And we have many tapestries. But if you are a Scottish lord, then I am Mickey Mouse!"

 [Frank Drebin is stopped at the entrance to the Oscars]

Frank Drebin: Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.

Guard: Yeah, and I'm Robert De Niro.

Frank Drebin: Mr. De Niro, we've got to get inside.

 Bullwinkle: But she really is with the FBI.

Cop: Yeah, and I'm really John Goodman.

  • In the Richard Attenborough film "Grey Owl," where Pierce Brosnan plays the title character, a minor character says "[Grey Owl's] name is Archie Belaney, and if he's a red Indian, I'm the king of China." Grey Owl really was Archibald Belaney.
  • A Knight's Tale:

 William: I'm Ulrich von Leichtenstein, from Guilderland, and these are my faithful squires, Delves, of Dogington, and Falhurst, of Crew.

Chaucer: I'm Richard the Lionheart. Pleased to meet you. No, wait a minute, I'm Charlemagne. No, I'm Saint John the Baptist!

  • In Return of the Pink Panther, Inspector Clouseau's car and clothes are stolen by a transvestite thief, and he flags down a police car wearing the fur coat he was given. The officer gives him a ride to the nuthouse.

 Clouseau: Hey, hey, hey! Wait a moment! Wait a moment! I am Chief Inspector Clouseau of the Sûreté!

Officer: And I am officer Bardot.

Clouseau: Bardot?

Officer: But you can call me Brigitte!

  • Appears in Field of Dreams, when Ray introduces his brother-in-law Mark to Terrence Mann:

 Mark: Hi, how ya doin', I'm the Easter Bunny.

  • The Bobo - Singer/matador Peter Sellers is posing as a representative to a rich count to fool Britt Ekland. They arrive at a posh resort where he introduces himself to the manager as "emmisary to His Excellency Martin Aragon Bocales de Villa Banal de Guilia de Comperes, the Count of Villa Banal." The manager breezily replies "And I am Louis XIV!" It's hard to tell if it's sarcasm, as he is dressed like the monarch.


Film -- Animated

 Benedict: (while being arrested) Get your hands off me, you filthy fiend! I'm the former Secretary of Education!

Policeman: Yeah, yeah, and I'm the former princess of Morocco. Get in the car!


Literature

 Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,

A medley of extemporanea,

And love is a thing that can never go wrong,

And I am Marie of Roumania.

    • Eleanor Arneson and Ruth Berman gave this line to a cop in "The Face on the Barroom Floor", a Star Trek fan novella in which Captain Kirk, after going incognito on shore leave, can't convince anyone of his real identity.
  • Older Than Feudalism example, courtesy of Petronius' The Satyricon when Ascyltus is laughing at Trimalchio's complete lack of book knowledge and horrific Latin puns, one of his (Trimalchio's) friends starts berating him. He bemoans that the world is too soft on men "these days" and notes he's wearing a gold ring (in those days only the Equestrian order got to wear gold):

 "You're a Roman knight, are you? Well, my father was a king."

  • In A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court the king and the protagonist (who has travelled back to the past, and became King Arthur's court wizard using Magic From Technology) are captured while travelling undercover, and are sold to a slave trader. When the king chooses to break his incognito, his claims of being King Arthur are met by the sarcastic response that in that case the slave next to him must be his famous court wizard.
  • The Dresden Files uses this a lot as part of his Private Eye Monologue:

 "And maybe one of these days I'd go to an art museum and become well rounded."

"And maybe dragons would fly out my butt."

  • In Jingo, when 71-Hour Achmed sees Carrot.

 Achmed: And that man, I believe, is your king.

Vimes: No.

Achmed: Really? Then I am Queen Punjitrum of Sumtri.

 Daphne: [The crew of the Judy] are here and armed, Mr Cox.

Cox: Are they indeed? Then I'm the queen of Sheba.

  • Tuf Voyaging by George RR Martin has two examples:
    • On Haviland Tuf's first visit to S'uthlam, his description of how he came into possession of his Cool Starship prompts this response from the Portmaster:

 She grinned. "And I'm the Empress of the Crab Nebula."

Tuf's face remained expressionless. "I fear I have been connected to the wrong person then. I wished to speak to the Portmaster of S'uthlam."

    • On his second visit:

 "If you're Tuf, I'm Stephan Cobalt Northstar."

"Stephan Cobalt Northstar has been dead for more than a millennium. Nevertheless, I am Haviland Tuf."

 "If you can't afford [an attorney], hell has frozen over and I'm the princess of Oz, but in that case, one will be appointed to you."

  • In the book Letters From Camp, the selfish family of former child stars running the summer camp have the Catch Phrase "We'd rather sing than fight, 'cause being polite is such a delight." One of the campers comments, "If they're polite, I'm Snow White."
  • In Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator, daring astronaut Commander Shanks receives a message. The man contacting him claims to be the president of the United States. "And this is the Wizard of Oz" responds Shanks.
  • In The Green Mile, when Wild Bill Wharton starts pitching a (fake) epileptic fit, Harry points it out, but Brutal just says, "Right, and my sister's the Whore of Babylon. She dances the hoochie-coochie in a long white veil."
  • In f&sf fandom you'll still hear "Oh yeah -- and I'm the Kumquat Haagen-Dasz!" from people who have no idea where it came from. It's from National Lampoon's Doon, their only novel other than Bored of the Rings.


Live-Action TV

 Liz: I had a vision - I'm a psychic.

Dagless: And I'm Bo Derek.

Liz: No you're not.

Dagless: You're right, I'm not. I guess I use sarcasm as a defense.

 Smith: (on the radio) "This is Nayland Smith broadcasting from the castle of Fu Manchu..."

Servo: (as the guy at the other end of the radio) "Oh, right, and this is Mickey Mouse broadcasting from Disneyland."

  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
    • One aspiring vampire smarms that when he kills Buffy, it'll be the greatest event since the Crucifixion. "And I should know. I was there." Behind him, Spike's famous voice cuts in:

 Spike: Oh please! If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there, it would've been like Woodstock.

    • In his first scene, Willy the Snitch demurs that he's staying away from that whole vampire scene and "living right." ("What's My Line, Pt.1")

 Angel: Sure you are, Willy. And I'm taking up sunbathing.

  • In the Star Trek the Next Generation episode "The Arsenal of Freedom", Riker responds to a rather unconvincing holographic duplicate of the captain of the ship whose disappearance they came to investigate:

 "Rice": Tell me about your ship, Riker. It's the Enterprise, isn't it?

Riker: No... the name of my ship is the... Lollipop.

"Rice": I have no knowledge of that ship.

Riker: It's just been commissioned. It's a good ship.

  • Sam accidentally reminiscing about the day he made DCI (in the future) to the DCI, Gene Hunt. (Life on Mars)

 Gene: Was that the same day I became King of Egypt?

  • In The Suite Life of Zack and Cody a mall security guard refuses to believe that one of the twins' friends actually is a prince and says "And I'm the Queen of Sheeba". The prince, being incredibly naive, believes her and refers to her as "your majesty" for the rest of the episode. He even promotes her to his cabinet at the end.
  • The Mary Tyler Moore Show; in one episode when Mary Richards and Lou Grant were visiting Washington DC on a news story, Lou claimed that he was playing poker with several prominent statesmen, including then-President Ford. When the President calls to ask if he left his pipe behind, Mary is not convinced, thinking his impression stinks;

 Ford: Hello, this is President Ford.

Mary: Yes, this is Mary--Queen of Scots.


Newspaper Comics

  • The Moomins comic strip had several storylines in which the Moomins used a Time Machine to travel back in time (usually because Moominpappa longed for the glory and romance of the old days, only to find out that the old days weren't as glorious or romantic as he thought), and at one point the trope was played, word for word, when the family went back to Ancient Egypt. At their first stop, the Moomins are mistaken for gods because, in the words of the Egyptians, "who but a god would dare to take on the appearance of the holy white hippo?" However, when the family make a time-jump for a century or so and try their God Guise again, the new Egyptians just shake their heads:

 Moominpappa: My good man, I am Horus. This is Isis, Osiris, and Ra.

Random Egyptian: Of course. And I'm the Queen of Sheba.

 Television showing Uncle Roy: Good morning, boys and girls. You are probably wondering where my dog, Bob, is this morning. Wellll... It seems old Bob bit Mr Blue Jeans the Mailman once too often... So Bob has decided to move to a local research facility to pursue a career as a laboratory animal.

Garfield: And I'm Frank Sinatra.

 Garfield: I'm not getting older, I'm getting better. Every day in every way. And I'm gonna grow wings and I'm gonna fly, too.


Theater

 Percy: Lud love me, such conjecturing could drive a man insane

And I'm the one to set this gossip quite to rest

The Pimpernel is me!

Marguerite: Indeed, and I'm the Queen of Spain!

Percy: She's disguised herself

But now she has at last confessed


Video Games

  • In Dragon Age, a templar named Carroll guards the docks and only way to the Mage's Tower. Showing him the treaties will elicit this response from him:

 Carroll: Yes. Oh, a Grey Warden seal. Aha! So you're claiming to be one of those! You know I have some documents, too. They say I'm the Queen of Antiva.

 Bart: Krusty, listen carefully, aliens are handing out free laser guns and cola that makes you go crazy. It'll be a massacre, the streets will be littered with lasered-off limbs and heads.

Krusty: Yeah right, and I'm getting into the Country Western Hall of Fame. It just ain't gonna happen, kid.

  • In Metal Gear Solid Peace Walker, after Naked Snake (while using a fake identity) asked if they were CODESA to Amanda, Amanda responded with "Yeah, and I'm Papa Noel."


Webcomics

  • Schlock Mercenary: Kevyn uses the "monkey's uncle" line at one point, leading Tagon to note that his (Kevyn's) sister did work with several (sapient) gorillas, and there was always a possibility--

 Kevyn: --that any illegitimate children will be apes, not monkeys. I checked.


Western Animation

 Static: Batman's not going to be happy about how you're treating his guests.

Terry: First off, we don't have guests here. Second off, I'm Batman.

Static: Yeah, and I'm Beyonce.

Bruce: *later walks in* What's going on here?

Terry: He says his name is Beyoncé.

 Sugar Jimmy: Most snack foods are manufactured by smoke-belching factories, but Sugar Jimmy Golden Gobble Blobble Bars are handmade by magical leprechauns as they dance on a beautiful rainbow.

Maguro: Oh, yes. And chocolate is made by tiny gnomes inside of hollow rocks.

Tako: Gee, I didn't know that.

  • Constantly used by Courage in Courage the Cowardly Dog, with Lampshading.
  • Once in The Smurfs, when Papa Smurf has switched bodies with Gargamel (long story), and the Smurfs have caught not-Gargamel, he reveals that he's really Papa Smurf. Cue one Smurf: "Yes, and I'm Smurfette."
  • Superman: The Animated Series had Lois Lane pull one of these saying, "Yeah, and I'm Wonder Woman." (Which is interesting, because Wonder Woman was first introduced into The DCAU, as a recent arrival, years later.)
  • In The Simpsons referring to Andy Dick using drugs:

 Bart: He's just flamboyant.

Homer: Yeah, and I'm a size four.

    • From the episode "Gone Maggie Gone" when asking about a nun's non-existing husband.

 Nun: I'm married to Jesus!

Homer: (scoffs) Yeah, right. And I'm married to Wonder Woman!

 Johnny: Come on, everybody, Plank says he heard something over here.

Kevin: Yeah, right, and I'm the king of Siam.

Rolf: And Rolf is the head of cabbage!

    • Also from "Sorry Wrong Ed":

 Eddy: (answering the phone) It's probably Nazz.

Edd: And I'm Theodor Geisel.

  • Batman the Animated Series: Hugo Strange attempts to auction off Batman's Secret Identity to some of his rogues. When the deal goes south, Strange begs for his life with it (and Harvey unintentionally defends Bruce):

 Dr. Strange: I was set up! Bruce Wayne is Batman!

Two-Face: That's absurd. I know Bruce Wayne. If he's Batman, I'm the king of England.

  • In the Justice League Unlimited episode "The Great Brain Robbery", the Flash and Lex Luthor switch minds after a botched mind-scanning attempt on both the Leaguers' and the Legion of Doom's sides. When Flash, in Lex Luthor's body, goes to see Grodd, he quickly sees it through:

 Flash: Me? The Flash? You've like, totally lost it, Grodd! I'm Lex Luthor!

Grodd: And I'm Charlton Heston.

 Spot: Hey, guys, guess what? I'm a dog!

Rolly: Yeah, so?

Spot: No, you guys, it's me, Spot!

Lucky: Yeah, right. And I'm Thunderbolt.

  • Pac-Man: After Pac-Man is falsely arrested for bank robbery in "Public Pac-Enemy No. 1" (paraphrasing):

 Pac-Man: I'm not Pretty-Boy Pac! I'm Pac-Man!

Police Officer: Sure, and I'm Thomas Jefferpac.

Pac-Man: No, you're not!

 Aang: This is Appa, my flying bison.

Sokka: Right. And this is Katara, my flying sister.

  • Used in the weather episode of The Magic School Bus. If Ralphie's Weatherman, then Keesha's the Queen of England.
  • Zig-zag: The finale to Ralph Bakshi's Mighty Mouse reboot, "Mighty's Tone Poem," featured a clip from season 1 and edited frames from that clip. It was from "Night Of The Bat-Bat" where Bat-Bat confronts the Cow:

 Cow: Well! If it isn't the famous Bat-Bat!

Bat-Bat: Yes, and if it isn't the famous Cow!

Cow: I see you brought the famous Bug Wonder with you.

Bat-Bat: Yes, and I see you brought the famous Merv Griffin! (cut to a cartoon Merv Griffin at a desk waving)

  • The Real Ghostbusters: The ghostbusters traveled to Scotland once when Ray inherited the title of Duke of Dunkirk. When he attempted to rally some of the locals to help fight an army of Highlander ghosts, Ray introduced himself as the Duke of Dunkirk. One local answered, "Sure, and I'm Dick Whittington's Cat!"
  • On Gargoyles, when King Arthur told Griff who he was, Griff responded with "And I'm the Queen Mum!"


Real Life

  • A common saying in Real Life Germany: "And I'm the Chinese emperor."
  • Other candidates for the trope name: And I'm the Queen of England, the Pope, the Easter Bunny, etc. etc. etc...take your pick.
  • And in Israel you say, "And I'm the Wizard of Oz"!
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