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There are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team's goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.
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In football, the object is for the Quarterback, otherwise known as the "Field General", to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense and hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy, in spite of the Blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing his aerial assault with a sustained ground attack which punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.
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American Football is perhaps the most popular sport...in America. This guide intends to inform you about your favorite Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (and occasionally Tuesday and Wednesday) pastime, assuming you live in America. If you'd like to know about college football, then please check out the corresponding notes page.

Alright, so first off, there are three major tiers of football: high-school football, college football, and professional football (the National Football League). High schools draw players from their general student bodies. During their senior years, especially talented high-school football players sign letters of intent to play for various college programs. This is known as National Signing Day. College players must be enrolled and take classes at the college in question; they can be granted scholarships but not directly paid. After their collegiate career is completed (and they've proven themselves on field), then they'll usually declare for the NFL Draft, which occurs early in April.

High schools usually play football on Saturday afternoons or Friday evenings (hence Friday Night Lights) during the fall semester, and are governed by state-level athletic associations. They are divided into tiers based on school size and athletic program quality, and sometimes into regional divisions as well. There may be separate organizations for public and private schools, or they may all play together; there may be a statewide championship tournament or only regional titles within a state. There is no national high school football championship; there are altogether too many high schools for this to work, and besides, all but a few high schoolers are minors for whom such travel would be, if not illegal, then certainly extremely difficult to manage.

The most talented high school atheletes are offered scholarships to play football at the various universities that play football. There are numerous tiers of Collegiate football, called 'divisions', stretching across two organizations. There are at least 5 recognized national championship systems. The top division of the National Collegiate Athletic Association is split into two seperate subdivisions, called Football Bowl Subdivision (FBS) and Football Championship Subdivision (FCS). Generally, FBS teams are regarded as 'college football' in the United States, and are the highest tier. The FBS is split into numerous 'conferences' which are equivalent to leagues in their own right, crowning their own champions. These are sub-split into two types of conferences, Bowl Championship System conferences (BCS) and non-BCS schools. The BCS conferences are the Big Ten, Southeastern Conference (SEC), Big East, Big Twelve, Atlantic Coast Conference (ACC), and Pacific 12. The independent University of Notre Dame is also a BCS school, though it is not a member of any conference. Members of these conferences are the most prestigious schools (though some are more prestigious than others, and there has been serious discussion of stripping the Big East of their BCS status). The champion of each conference is granted an automatic berth in one of 5 BCS Bowls- four regular bowls. The Champion of the Big Twelve is granted an automatic berth to the Fiesta Bowl. The Champion of the ACC goes to the Orange Bowl. The champion of the SEC goes to the Sugar Bowl. The Champions of the Big 10 and Pac 12 go to the most prestigious regular bowl, the Rose Bowl. The Champions of the Big East go to any open spot. There are also several open slots, and they can be filled by any other eligible team, be they from a BCS conference or not. No conference can send more than two teams to the BCS bowls, though. The final Bowl is the BCS National Championship Game, where two teams, determined by a system using polls and computers, play in a special bowl, the winner of which is declared the national champion. The system is highly controversial, and many people advocate abolishing it and adopting a playoff system, similar to every other level of NCAA football, including the FCS.

The National Football League plays mostly on Sundays and Mondays from September to January/February. It consists of 32 teams, divided into the "American" and "National" conferences (an artifact of the NFL's 1970 merger with the American Football League), each of which has four divisions ("North", "South", "East", "West") of four teams each. These divisions are organized to promote established rivalries, so they bear little resemblance to actual geography, especially if teams change cities. The Dallas Cowboys are in the NFC East even though it's in the Southwest—admittedly, a piece of the Southwest in the Central time zone; interestingly, this was not caused by the team moving.[1] The Baltimore Ravens are in the AFC North, despite Baltimore being in the mid-Atlantic.[2] The most extreme example, perhaps, is that the Indianapolis Colts are in the AFC South,[3] even though it's currently geographically north of Cincinnati, a member of the AFC North—unless it's the aforementioned NFC East Dallas Cowboys being geographically west of the St. Louis Rams, a member of the NFC West.[4][5] The regular season lasts from September to December; the division winners and a handful of "wild card" teams (the two best records in each conference not to win a division) proceed to a seeded playoff tournament through January, culminating in the Super Bowl, played between the conference champions on the first Sunday in February, which is usually the most-watched television program of the year and therefore gets the best commercials. One oddity of the NFL is that no team plays in either New York or Los Angeles, despite them being the largest cities in the United States. This wasn't always the case, but L.A.'s teams have moved elsewhere and while there are still two official "New York" teams, they're both actually located nearby in New Jersey.

In terms of TV, a football game equals guaranteed high Ratings. Any professional football game is almost guaranteed to be the most-watched program of the day, and the Super Bowl almost always is the most-watched program of the year. Several Super Bowls are among the highest-rated programs of all time, and Super Bowl XLIV unseated the series finale of Mash as the most-watched program in American history.[6]

But enough organizational stuff. Here's the rules and positions.

Football is played on a rectangular field of 120 yards [7] in length (marked by end lines) and 53.3 yards in width (marked by sidelines). Obviously, anything happening outside of this boxed area is considered to be out-of-bounds. The first 10 yards of field measured from either end line are the end zones, their boundaries marked by goal lines. These are the primary scoring areas during a game, and are legally in-bounds for plays. The remainder of the field is divided by marked yard lines that run the entire width of the field. Yard lines are placed in 5-yard increments, and each 10 yard mark is visibly numbered up to the 50-yard line, which denotes the middle of the field. Smaller rows of markings known as hash marks are placed just inside the sidelines to denote each individual yard on the field for more precise measuring, but these do not run the entire width. Hash marks also appear 60' inside each sideline and are 2' long. These hash marks denote the area of the field where the ball can be placed before play commences. Since all these field markings tend to create a lattice-like appearance, a football field is colloquially known as the "Gridiron". The goalposts, upright goals that figure into certain scoring plays described below, are placed on the end lines at the back of each end zone. On the professional level, the goal posts are 18 feet 6 inches (5.64 m) apart and connected by a lower crossbar that stands 10 feet (3.05 m) off the ground.

When a team has the ball they are given four tries, called "downs," to move the ball ten yards towards the end zone (goal) they're facing. If that team can do so in four downs or less, then they get another four downs to move the ball another ten yards. If not, the other team gets the ball. If less than 10 yards remain to the goal, the team with the ball must score or they will lose possession to the other team. Most of the time, if a team reaches fourth down and has yet to move the ball ten yards and get a new first down (also referred to as "converting"), that team will opt to kick the ball as far downfield as possible (called a "punt") so that the opposing team will have further to travel in order to score. If the team with the ball can put the ball into the end zone (with one of their players in possession of it), they have scored a touchdown and are awarded six points. Most of the action of a football game consists of trying to score touchdowns. The ball itself only has to partially pass over a yard mark or goal line while in the possession of a player to be counted as a score or a conversion; this is referred to as the ball 'breaking the plane' of the line in question. As a general rule: forward advancement is marked where the ball is located, whereas determining play laterally is based on the body of the player possessing the ball. A player doesn't have to be in the endzone at all for a touchdown, just in possession of the ball as it's breaking the plane of the goal-line. Whereas a player is out-of-bounds once he steps over a marked sideline, it doesn't matter where the ball was located.

Each football team consists of anywhere from 40 to 70 players, depending on the level of competition. At any given time, 11 of these players are on the field. The team that is trying to score is the offense. The team that is trying to keep the offense from scoring is the defense. Unlike some other sports, American football allows players to be substituted in and out of the game freely, but only between plays. This means that most players play only on offense or only on defense and some may only see a handful of special-situation plays per game.

A football game consists of four fifteen-minute quarters with an option for an extra quarter of sudden-death overtime if both teams are tied at the end of regulation. Excepting playoff games, a tie is possible if neither team scores during overtime, but this is rare.[8] The game clock in football is an interesting object unto itself: if a play ends on an incomplete pass, with a player running out of bounds, a penalty, or a turnover, the clock will stop. If a play ends with a player being tackled in bounds, then the clock continues running. Each team also gets three timeouts per half. There are other times the game clock will stop, depending on level of competition, sanctioning body, and television considerations, but they are too numerous and complicated to explain here. Suffice it to say that "clock management" is a vital part of football strategy. There are numerous ways that teams will try to run off as much clock time as they can when they hold the lead or conversely stop the clock to get more time if they are behind. To add to the complexity, there is also a "play clock" in effect, the offensive team has a set amount of time after their last play has ended to start their next one. On the professional level, teams have 40 seconds timed from the end of the previous play, or 25 seconds after the ball is declared ready for play by officials. Letting the play clock run out will result in a delay of game penalty. It is important to note that this is why American football games, even though they only have an hour of play per game, tend to actually last for 2–3 hours.

When games are broadcast on television, a 3-hour block of time is customarily allocated to allow for the various delays. Sometimes, when a game is particularly hard-fought, and especially when one team is trying to slow down the game clock as much as possible to buy time, the game can even run over 3 hours in "regulation" (the basic 60-minute period). This can occasionally cause problems when the game is broadcast on TV; in one infamous incident in 1968, NBC cut away from an American Football League rivalry game between the Oakland Raiders and the New York Jets at the end of the three-hour block to run a children's movie ("Heidi"), notwithstanding that the game was still in progress.[9] The Raiders scored two touchdowns in the final minute to earn the victory, but viewers in the eastern half of the country were left in the dark. The resulting uproar from enraged football fans, which would put many instances of Internet Backdraft to shame, resulted in new policies being adopted. Nowadays, a network will never cut away from a game before it is finished. Unless a major breaking-news event like an assassination or a war beginning happens, TV viewers will see the entire game. (We've since learned that fans watching the "Heidi Game", anticipating that the game could be interrupted, called NBC en masse before the movie was due to start. NBC executives felt likewise and made a late decision to postpone the film, but couldn't contact the broadcast control room to deliver their orders because fans had jammed the phone lines.)

On offense, there are two options, run and pass. Running plays involve the quarterback running or delivering the ball to one of the five eligible receivers without throwing the ball forward, with the intent to move the ball forward. Passing plays involve the quarterback throwing forward to one of the five eligible receivers. Note that a forward pass can be caught behind the line of scrimmage as long as the ball moved forward from the passer's current position and that a handoff or pitch can be completed in front of the line of scrimmage as long as the ball moves laterally or backwards. Attempting to throw or hand the ball forward from beyond the line of scrimmage is illegal, as is throwing the ball forward more than once per down, or the defense throwing the ball forward for any reason. Backward and lateral passes, however, are always legal.

The typical ways to score are (see the terms section below for further details)

  • Touchdown: The primary form of scoring in football. Occurs when a team advances the ball beyond its opponent's goal line. They are worth 6 points.
    • PAT or Conversion Attempt: After scoring a touchdown, the scoring team is given the opportunity to score more points. The ball is placed two or three yards from the defending team's goal line and the scoring team attempts one of two possible plays.
      • Point After Touchdown, or PAT: Attempt a placekick or dropkick[10] (dropping the ball to the ground and kicking it after it has touched the ground) through the upright goal at the back of the endzone for one extra point. As such, it's often simply called "the extra point". The defense will attempt to block the PAT kick, but it is extremely difficult to do so. It is also possible for the kicker to miss the PAT, but due to the very short range required, this is likewise infrequent. Teams will opt for a PAT kick the vast majority of the time, thus a "touchdown" usually entails scoring 7 points total.
      • Two-point conversion: Make a single offensive play 3 yards away from the endzone. Reaching the endzone gives another two points (for a total of 8).[11] Although some teams have very high two-point conversion success rates, the general success rate is 40-55%, compared to the PAT's success rate of 98-99%. As a result, teams rarely try for a two-point conversion, unless they are coming back from a large deficit, they can gain some strategic advantage late in the game, or they want to go for a win in regulation. At the high school level and below, the two-point conversion is more common, because some teams simply don't have anybody who can kick with even marginal accuracy. It's basically unheard of for any college team and completely unheard of for any professional team to lack a kicker who can reliably kick the PAT.
  • Field Goal: Kick the ball through the upright goal placed past the opponent's end-zone for 3 points. Used instead of a punt if the team thinks they're close enough to make it (or desperate). The ball can touch any part of the 2 uprights and lower crossbar that form the goalpost on a field goal kick, as long as it passes over and through them before hitting the ground. Like a PAT kick, the defense will contest the kick (attempt to block it), and it can be caught on the fly or recovered like a live fumble if it is blocked backwards at the line of scrimmage. Unlike a punt, a missed field goal gives the opponents the ball from the spot of the kick making it risky at long range. Another consideration is that long field goals that don't leave the field of play can be returned like punts.
    • Although exceedingly rare it is also possible to score a field goal during any play by dropkick as well. Due to football's rules of possession, however it is generally tactically unsound to use this technique. Additionally, the shape of the ball itself makes this much more difficult than in rugby where the drop kick rules originated.
  • Safety: A somewhat rare but humiliating situation where an offensive player has possession of the ball in his own end zone and is either tackled, steps out-of-bounds or another offensive player commits a penalty while trying to prevent either from happening. The defensive team scores 2 points and gets the ball (the safetied team punts[12] it to them).
    • Note to fans of The Beautiful Game: This is basically the same thing as an own goal, only not quite as humiliating.
    • Note to Australian Rules Football fans: This is basically the same thing as an own score.
    • In certain rare situations, a team may intentionally allow a safety to be scored. This may be done for a variety of reasons:
      • To gain field position (by kicking off from the 20 yard line rather than punting from the end zone),
      • To manage the game clock (by running out the last few seconds of the game), or
      • To prevent something worse from happening (the offense loses control of the ball in its own end zone, then downs the ball or swats it out of bounds to prevent the defense from taking possession and scoring a touchdown)
    • However, safeties are more often the result of an offensive failure or a player getting confused and running the wrong way with the ball. Only a few safeties are seen each season, and intentional safeties only occur once every few years; they are far more common in Canadian Football, where field position is more important (since in Canadian ball a team gets three downs rather than four).
    • Then there's the extremely strange one point safety. At the pro level, this is only possible if a team tries for a two point conversion, drops the ball and the defending team knocks the ball out of the end zone (presumably to prevent the offense from picking up the ball in the end-zone for two points).

Here's a breakdown of each position:

Offense:

  • Quarterback: This player will touch the ball on nearly every offensive play. The role of the quarterback is to hand off the ball to an eligible receiver or pass the ball. Occasionally, the quarterback will run with the ball himself; some offensive systems use quarterback runs more than others. The mobile quarterback has become more prevalent in the NFL in recent years, but has been a staple of the high school and college game for decades. At the beginning of the play, the quarterback stands either directly under (behind) the center (a quarter of the way back from the offensive line, relative to the rest of the formation, hence the name quarterback), or seven yards behind the center. The latter formation is called "shotgun." A variation of the shotgun formation where the quaterback lines up 4 yards from the center is called the "pistol." As a result of nearly always being the preeminent decision-making player on a team's offense (the recent "Wildcat" formation notwithstanding), a quarterback is usually considered The Ace in the popular consciousness, and "QBs" generally receive an out-sized portion of attention from the media and fans. This is good news for the quarterback when the team is winning. It is bad news when the team is not. The all-time leading passer in NFL history is Brett Favre. He has played for the Atlanta Falcons, Green Bay Packers, New York Jets, and Minnesota Vikings.
  • The running backs, often subdivided further into halfback, or tailback and fullback roles (while they remain distict roles, the names no longer accurately describe the differences). The halfback is usually the team's primary rusher - in other words, most of the team's running plays will involve him in some way. As such, he's usually the more agile of the two backs. Halfbacks are also expected to block on passing plays and occasionally act as a receiver. The fullback is typically larger and is primarily used for blocking and short-range pass catching, but will run occasionally, especially when only a few yards are needed. Both can also be used as targets in the passing game. The fullback will usually (ironically) line up behind the quarterback, with the halfback behind him. Running backs of any type tend to have shorter careers than quarterbacks and wide receivers, as the position is phsyically demanding and more prone to injuries. At the professional level, it is becoming less common for teams to have a dedicated fullback on the roster, such teams often substituting another halfback or a tight end to assume the roll of fullback on the handful of plays that might require one. The all-time leading rusher in the NFL is Emmitt Smith of the Dallas Cowboys and Arizona Cardinals. Notable fullbacks in football history include Mike Alstott, Lorenzo Neal, and Daryl Johnston.
  • The wide receivers are the primary targets in the passing game. Before the play starts, they usually stand at the line of scrimmage a good distance away from ("wide" of) the nearest offensive tackle. Most offensive formations include at least two of them on the field; some will feature as many as five. Their job is to catch the ball or block for a running back. The all-time leading receiver in the NFL is Jerry Rice of the San Francisco 49ers, Oakland Raiders, Seattle Seahawks, and Denver Broncos.
  • The offensive line consists of five players: one center (the center of the line, expected to assign blocking schemes to the rest of the line and usually snaps the ball to the quarterback), two guards (who line up to either side of the center), and two tackles (who line up to either side of the guards). Their job is to block for the offensive backs - in other words, prevent the other defense from getting to the backs. This includes both pass blocking by simply diverting the defense from reaching the quarterback, and run blocking, where the linemen actively create running routes for the backs. The backs include anyone behind the line of scrimmage at the beginning of the play and usually include the quarterback, between zero and three running backs, and a tight end or wide receiver (there must be seven players on and four players behind the line for an offensive formation to be legal). The center's job is also to snap the ball to the quarterback. Offensive linemen are ineligible to touch a forward pass before another member of the offense or defense and cannot move more than five yards beyond the line of scrimmage (in the NFL they may not move past the "neutral zone", area defined by the distance between the tips of the ball before the ball is snapped) before the ball passes them (unless the offensive team publicly declares otherwise). Offensive lineman generally only touch the ball on fumbles, but there are a very few plays that have a tackle as an eligible receiver. The Baltimore Ravens' Michael Oher, of The Blind Side fame, is an offensive lineman (the term "the blind side", in football, refers to the side of the field that the quarterback is not facing when he turns to make a pass or a handoff; thus the offensive line position protecting that side - generally the tackle, Oher's position - is key to a successful offensive line.) In most cases (including Oher's) it's the the left tackle who plays this key role, as most quarterbacks (as with most of the general population) are right-handed.
  • The tight end usually lines up alongside or offset from the offensive line (in other words, they line up tight on the ends of the offensive line). Tight ends are often used to block and were originally intended solely for that role, but are eligible receivers and most passing plays are now designed with the tight end as an option. Any given play may have anywhere from 0 to 4 tight ends. Some famous recent tight ends are Shannon Sharpe, Tony Gonzalez, Jason Witten, and Antonio Gates.
    • There is also an increasing trend of using H-backs (hybrid-back), players who can both fill the tight end and fullback roles. (An H-Back is more of a skill set rather than a designated position. During any given play an H-Back will act as either a full back or a tight end though due to pre-snap motion their role on the given play may be faked to the opposing defense) Chris Cooley of the Washington Redskins is an H-back.

Defense:[13]

  • The defensive line consists of between two and five linemen, depending on what package is being used. Most defensive packages use three or four: one or two tackles in the middle and two ends. Their goal is primarily to muck up whatever the offensive line is trying to do: If they're trying to clear a hole for a run, it's their job to plug it and if possible tackle the runner. If they're trying to protect the quarterback, it's the D-Line's job to get past them and, if possible, sack the quarterback. Alternatively, the defensive line can be used to open up holes in the offensive line to allow other defensive players like linebackers and safeties to have a run at the quarterback or running back. Typically, a middle linebacker is the playcaller for the defense, as this position has a good view of the offense's formation and his location at the center of the defense makes it easier for all the other defenders to hear him. Some recent famous defensive linemen are Michael Strahan, Jared Allen, and Dwight Freeney.
  • The linebackers are two to four players who line up behind the defensive linemen (named because they back the defensive line). Linebackers are generally the most versatile players on the defense and can be used to rush the quarterback, support the run defense, or cover slower receivers like backs or tight ends. The linebackers are known informally as the Mike (and Moe or Jack in a four-backer set) for inside linebackers and Will and Sam for the weakside and strongside (the side of the offensive line with the tight end) linebackers. The second number in the common naming system for defense (ex: 4-3 has 4 defensive linemen and 3 linebackers, while the 3-4 has 3 and 4, respectively.) Among the best recent linebackers in football are Ray Lewis, Patrick Willis, De Marcus Ware, and James Harrison.
  • Defensive backs: There are usually four or five backs on the field for most plays, though defense packages exist that include as many as seven. The four that are on the field at most times include two cornerbacks (line up on the outsides or corners of the defense, usually against the top two wide receivers), a strong safety (who lines up on the same side as the offense's tight end - hence its "strong" side), and a free safety. The defensive backs collectively are often referred to as the secondary. Their job is primarily to cover wide receivers and stop the pass, but they will occasionally be used to assist in the pass rush or run defense. The fifth defensive back in a play that uses them is referred to as the "nickel" back (because he would be the fifth defensive back on the field), the sixth is called the "dime", and the seventh is a "quarter" (which may cause some confusion). Some excellent defensive backs of the recent past include Deion Sanders, Charles Woodson, and Darrelle Revis.

Special Teams:

  • The placekicker attempts to kick field goals and extra points, for which the ball is snapped to another offensive player who then holds it to the ground (places it) for the kicker (unless the kicker is named Charlie Brown). Some teams employ two kickers, in which case one handles the above duties and one is a kickoff specialist who kicks the ball off of a tee to the other team at the start of play and after scores. Most teams have one kicker who handles both duties, due to limited roster space. Traditionally, holding the kick was the job of the quarterback, but this has changed in recent years and it is most typically the punter who handles the placement[14] The most accurate kicker in NFL history is a tie between Nate Kaeding of the San Diego Chargers and Mike Vanderjagt of the Indianapolis Colts. Kickers are known for longevity; since they get defensively hit on plays only maybe about a few times a year they can go deep into their forties before retirement; Morten Andersen didn't retire until he was age 48.
  • The punter is used when one team wishes to trade a change of possession for improved field position. The punter receives the snap himself and kicks the ball (without letting it touch the ground) toward the other team's defended goal. While the kicking team can recover a kickoff without the receiving team touching the ball, the kicking team cannot recover a punt without an error on the part of the receiving team; if the punted ball touches any member of the receiving team and is not held onto, it is counted as a fumble (even if never touched the hands of the receiving player). While rare, sometimes the same player acts as both the placekicker and the punter. Like placekickers, punters tend to have long careers, as they're rarely hit. The punter with the longest average in NFL history is Shane Lechler of the Oakland Raiders.
  • Most teams also employ a long snapper who handles snapping duties for placekicks and punts, due to long snaps being different enough from standard shotgun snaps to be difficult for centers.
  • While most teams use a receiver or defensive back to return kicks, some teams employ a return specialist, a player nominally assigned to a standard position whose primary duties are to return kickoffs and punts, and occasionally cover the opponents' returns. Devin Hester, currently with the Chicago Bears, is the most successful return specialist in NFL history, and New Orleans Saints return specialist Darren Sproles holds the single-season record for all-purpose yardage.

Finally, here are some terms you might want to know:

General terms:

  • Down: A play. (So named because a play usually ends when the ball carrier is tackled, i.e. forced down to the ground.) For a legal series, the offense has four tries to move the ball ten yards. If the offense moves the ball far enough, then the down series starts back over and it's first down again. If the offense runs out of downs, possession is turned over at the final position of the ball. As a result, teams treat fourth downs very conservatively and will usually either punt the ball or try for a field goal if they are at a reasonable range. "Going for it" on fourth down is only done when the first down is more strategically valuable than the turnover is detrimental, or the team is desperate for points or field position.
    • Downs are usually called out as "Nth and X", where N is the number of the down (4th is sometimes replaced with "last") and X is the number of advanced yards required to start the down count over: "2nd and 7", for example, means the offense is on its second try to move the ball ten yards away from where the first down took off, and their current play must move the ball 7 yards forward in order to restart the down count. If the ball is downed within the ten yards approaching the Goal Line, the downs are then called as "Nth and Goal", as there is no first down to gain, and the team must score to avoid turning it over.
    • In situations where less than a whole yard remains to convert, the play will commonly be called out as "Nth and short" or possibly "Nth and inches", whereas plays requiring large yardage gains may be called out as "Nth and long". Yards lost as a result of a play or penalty are added on to the distance required to convert the first down, so a team that loses 5 yards on a 1st-and-10 play will face 2nd and 15 on their next play.
    • During the game, officials on the sidelines employ a pair of large orange sticks connected by a 10-yard length measuring chain to mark the distance required for a new first down. Occasionally, they will be called out onto the field itself to measure the final position of the ball when a play is too close to call by the referee's eye alone. Thus a common slang term for converting is "moving the chains". A play series that is particularly unproductive is often called a "three and out", meaning the offense used their first 3 downs and netted so little yardage (or negative yardage) that their only realistic option is to burn the 4th down by punting the ball away and getting off the field.
  • Line of Scrimmage: This is the line where the ball is placed at the beginning of each play. If the ball carrier is tackled behind it, they lose yardage. On television, it is often virtually projected on the field as a white or blue line.
  • Neutral Zone: the space between the teams before the ball is snapped that is as long as the ball from tip to tip. Neither team is allowed to be in that area until the ball is snapped and ineligible receivers are not allowed to proceed past this area during passing plays until the ball is past them.
  • Snap: The moment when the Center lifts the football off its place on the ground and a play officially begins. Immediately prior to the snap, the entire offensive team must freeze in place for one second, except for one member of the offensive backfield who is allowed to be in lateral motion.
  • Line to Gain: This line initially begins 10 yards from the line of scrimmage at the beginning of each down series. If the offense moves the ball beyond it, they've achieved a new series of downs. On television, it is virtually projected on the field as a yellow line (red on fourth down).
  • Goal Line: These are lines at both ends of the 100-yard football field. If a team moves the ball past its opponent's goal line it scores a touchdown. If the ball carrier gets pushed back behind his own goal line and tackled then the defense scores a safety.
  • End Zone: The area behind each goal line which is legally within the bounds of play. In American Football, the end zones are ten yards deep.
  • Lateral Pass: Any exchange in which the ball is transferred laterally or behind the ball's current position. A lateral is legal at any time, between any two players. Handoffs are considered lateral passes. An incomplete lateral pass is live and considered a fumble.
  • Forward Pass: Any exchange in which the ball is transferred to a point in front of its current position. A forward pass is illegal after the ball or passer has advanced beyond the line of scrimmage (even if one or both retreats behind again), or if an ineligible offensive player touches the ball before an eligible player. An incompleted forward pass kills the play and stops the clock with no change of possession. A legal pass also must have a clear intended receiver, that is, there must be an eligible player that the passer was trying to throw the ball to. If an official believes that an incompletion was thrown blindly by the passer simply to avoid being tackled with it, an "intentional grounding" penalty may be called. This is a very serious penalty that results in the loss of 10 yards and a loss of a down. One of the skills of a seasoned quarterback when a pass play has failed is to always throw just close enough to an eligible player that he won't be penalized, but also just far enough away that it's out of range of a defensive player to intercept. Intentional grounding can be avoided if the quarterback is no longer behind his offensive line; in this case, the ball can be thrown almost anywhere for simply an incomplete pass. However, this can be as dangerous as intentional grounding since a quarterback in this situation no longer has his linemen to protect him and generally can see far less of the field.
  • Red Zone: The area between the end zone and 20 yard line of the opposing team. So called because the offensive team has a very high chance of scoring at least a field goal, if not a touchdown, when they have reached this point. Having a play series end in the red zone with no points scored is generally considered to be a failure. Having it happen repeatedly is usually a sign of an inept offense or extremely tough defense.
  • Penalties: Officials carry weighted yellow flags and throw them onto the field to indicate that a violation of the rules occcured during the preceding play. The violating team will then be penalized by moving the line of scrimmage 5-15 yards towards their goal for the following play. Some offensive penalties will also carry a loss of down, as opposed to a replay of the current down. Some defensive penalties also carry an automatic first down for the offense; that is, the offense is awarded a new down series from the reset line of scrimmage, no matter whether the penalized yards would move the line of scrimmage beyond the line to gain. Technical fouls usually carry 5- or 10- yard penalties, while personal fouls always carry 15-yard penalties (and an automatic first down for defensive personal fouls). Particularly egregious fouls result in ejection (unlike in the other football, the player can be replaced); this is almost always followed by a hefty fine, and sometimes suspension for a period of time (with corresponding loss of salary). Note that most penalties are imposed in place of the results of the live play, so the team receiving the penalty has the option to decline the penalty in favor of the result. This is intended to prevent intentional penalties that would negate plays with large yardage swings. Personal Fouls, however, always add yardage to the end of the play. As well, certain situations (such as a penalty committed during a PAT) allow the offended team to assess the penalty in any number of additional ways (for example, during the ensuing kickoff rather than on the PAT). There are also 'dead-ball' fouls, pre-snap procedural penalties that always negate the following play. Offsetting penalties always negate each other, no matter if there is a difference of degree. To avoid deliberate penalties near the end of games (trading yards for clock stoppages), offensive penalties include a clock runoff. These flags used to be weighted with BBs, but the practice ceased when a referee accidentally threw a flag into the face of a lineman, nearly blinding the player in one eye.

Offense-related terms:

  • Formation: A standardized pre-snap lineup. Seven players (the linemen plus two eligible receivers) must be on the line of scrimmage and the four remaining eligible receivers must be behind the line (one of whom takes the snap, naturally). The standard NFL set, known as the 'I' formation includes one tight end on the right side of the offensive line, one split end, a receiver on the left side of the line, but separated from the linemen, a flanker on the right side, separated and one yard back, the quarterback under center, and the fullback and halfback two and four yards behind him, respectively. All formations can be varied by changing the placement or position of the offensive backs and line receivers.
    • Shotgun: A formation in which the quarterback lines up five yards behind the center. In the standard shotgun, a running back lines up to the quarterback's left and one yard forward and the other running back is replaced with a slot receiver, a receiver lined up between the line and the split end, one yard behind the line of scrimmage.
    • Ace: Any set in which the fullback is replaced with an extra wide receiver or tight end. This results in only one running back in the backfield, hence the term.
    • Pro: A set in which the fullback and the halfback (or two halfbacks, or two fullbacks) line up at the same depth from the quarterback. A standard Pro set have the backs line up on either side of where the halfback would normally go. Some formations have one of the backs line up in the standard halfback position, and are called "Near" and "Far" depending on which side the other back goes; "Near" if the back is on the strong side, and "Far" if the back is on the weak side.
    • Wishbone: Take the standard Pro set, subtract the tide end or a wide receiver, and add the fullback in his standard position.
    • Wildcat: A nonstandard (at higher levels) formation wherein the quarterback, usually a nonstarter or a player out of position, lines up in shotgun position and one man always begins in motion. The formation is designed to spread the defense and allow option runs and short passes over the middle. It is generally considered a gimmick at the highest levels, but it is a high-school staple and a small number of NFL teams will use it from time to time.
  • Play Action: This is the most common type of trick play, wherein the quarterback pretends to hand the ball off to a teammate behind the line of scrimmage, then attempts a forward pass.
  • Draw: Sort of the inverse of a play action, this is a run play disguised as a pass play. The quarterback usually drops back and waits a moment before handing the ball off (or running it himself). Meanwhile, wide receivers will run routes downfield in an attempt to "draw" defensive backs away from the line of scrimmage to give his teammate room to run.
  • Screen: A pass play disguised as a botched pass play. After the snap, the offensive lineman make a token attempt to block the defense, but then allow them through and run to the sidelines. The defensive linemen (hopefully) see the defenseless quarterback and chase him, whereupon he lofts a shallow pass to an eligible receiver set up behind those same offensive linemen.
  • Shovel Pass: a short pass where the quarterback doesn't throw using his full motion or is thrown underhand.
  • Option: A type of play in which the quarterback receives the snap, then tries to run to the left or right around the line of scrimmage, accompanied by a running back. At any point the quarterback has the "option" of keeping the ball and advancing himself or tossing a lateral to the running back. There are various types of option plays, but the most popular involves just the quarterback and fullback. The option is a very popular play among teams up to the Division I-A level, and many of these teams treat the option as central to their offense (Nebraska is famous for running an option offense). In the NFL, the option is seen as a novelty play, and is used rarely because the quarterback risks injury.
  • Hail Mary: A play in which the quarterback avoids the defense for as long as possible, then throws the ball high in the air as far as possible, in the hopes that someone (on his team) will catch it. Obviously not a high-percentage play, this is used late in games when the offensive team is down by a touchdown or less. Doug Flutie, a quarterback who later went on to have moderate success with the NFL's Buffalo Bills, is still famous for completing a Hail Mary pass to narrowly lead his Boston College team to victory over Miami in 1984. The term itself stems from a 1975 pass by Dallas Cowboys quarterback and devout Catholic Roger Staubach; prior to that historic moment, the same play was called an Alley Oop. The terms "Hail Mary" and "Hail Mary pass" have since entered the American lexicon for any spectacular, last-ditch effort with a low chance of success.
  • Flea Flicker: A trick play in which the ball is handed off to a running back, who begins to run only to throw the ball back to the quarterback, who then targets receivers who are by now far downfield. An all-or-nothing play that nearly always results in big gains, big losses...or worse. The infamous 1985 Lawrence Taylor hit on Joe Theismann, which resulted in a career-ending compound fracture to Theismann's leg, came on a botched flea flicker.
  • Taking a Knee: Also sometimes known as the "victory formation" because of how common it is to secure victory, taking a knee is where the quarterback takes the snap and immediately drops to one knee. By the rules, this is counted as downing the ball, and the clock will continue to run short of the opposing team taking a time-out or some other circumstance. It is very common at the ends of games where one team has victory locked up and just wants to run out the clock (for example, if they lead by 4 points with less than a minute to go with the other team having no timeouts remaining). In the standard formation, there are three people in the backfield besides the quarterback- their only job is to grab the ball in the event of a bad snap.
  • Spiking the Ball: The opposite of taking a knee, spiking the ball occurs when you need to stop the clock as quickly as possible. Spiking the ball generally involves the offense moving to the line as quickly as they possibly can, snapping it, and immediately throwing it into the ground. This counts as an incomplete pass, since there are receivers in the area. Doing so immediately stops the clock. It is generally used near the ends of halves when one team doesn't have- or doesn't want to waste- any timeouts. A more interesting play is faking spiking the ball, which generally catches the defense off-guard and allows open receivers to get into position to catch the ball.

Defense-related terms:

  • Tackle: A defensive player can end a play by forcing the ball carrier to the ground, forcing the ball carrier out of bounds, or halting his forward momentum to the satisfaction of the nearest official. If any part of the carrier's body from the knees or elbows inward touches the ground, it's enough to end the play, so long as an opposing player is touching him when it happens. (Having a hand, forearm, foot, or lower leg touch the ground isn't enough.)
  • Nickel: A defensive package designed for passing plays wherein one lineman or linebacker is replaced with either a third cornerback or a weak safety. The term comes from the US five-cent coin, called a nickel. Similarly, there exist 'dime' and 'quarter' packages which substitute in six or seven backs, respectively.
  • Turnover: A change of ball possession without the intent of the offense.
  • Sack: A sack occurs when a defensive player tackles the opposing quarterback while behind the line of scrimmage on a passing play.
  • Interception: An interception occurs when a defensive player catches a pass intended for an offensive player. This changes possession of the football and the defensive player is free to advance the football. Unlike offensive linemen, all defensive players may legally intercept a pass. Alternately/colloquially may be called a "pick" or "pick-off" of the pass.
  • Fumble: A fumble occurs when the ball carrier drops the football while it is still in play. A wide receiver who does not catch his pass does not fumble; a fumble only occurs if the player had definite possession of the ball. If the defense is able to recover the football before the offense does, then the football changes possession. A ball fumbled out of bounds reverts to the offense at the spot where it crossed the sideline. Note that defensive players can advance any fumble, but offensive players cannot advance a ball fumbled forward from behind the line of scrimmage. This rule exists to prevent a specific trick play called a fumblerooski, in which a ballcarrier "accidentally" fumbles the ball forward to another player, getting around the rule against forward passes.
  • Safety: The final, rarest type of turnover. As mentioned above, if a ball carrier is tackled behind his own goal line, the defense is awarded two points and possession of the ball by means of an uncontested punt by the offensive team. A fumble that moves back through the ball carrier's endzone without being recovered by the defense is also a safety.
  • Blitz: A type of play in which linebackers or defensive backs attempt to rush past the offensive line (creating a "pass rush") and sack or at least put pressure on the ball-carrier, usually the quarterback. If the offense has a running back block the blitzing defender, thus nullifying the play, it is referred to as "picking up the blitz". Considered a risky play because it leaves areas of the field open. However, there are teams that have had lots of success with aggressive blitzing; the NFL's Pittsburgh Steelers have long had a reputation for successful blitz-oriented defenses, and the Buddy Ryan-created "46 Defense" is an entire system developed around constantly applying such pressure to opposing offenses for whole games at a time.
    • Zone-Blitz: while a standard blitz involves sending more people than the usual 4 linemen (or 3 lineman and one linebacker) a zone blitz involves the defense faking which players will be rushing the quarterback and which players will be in coverage. For example, a defensive end may act like he's going to rush the quarterback and the strong safety may appear to be in coverage, however when the ball is snapped the safety rushes the quarter back while the defensive end covers. This is intended to cause mismatches between blockers and rushers and open up holes where a blocker expected someone to be and is not prepared for someone rushing from a different position. This of course can backfire if the lineman attempting to cover is not athletic enough to perform these duties.

Special teams-related terms:

  • Kick off: A kick off begins both halves of football and resumes play after a score (except for a safety). The kickoffs take place from the kicking team's 35 yard line and the ball is kicked from a Tee (or held by a member of the kicking team, if the ball falls off the tee due to wind, the referee will require they have a member of the kicking team hold the ball like on a field goal attempt). The receiving team may not attempt to block this kick but both teams may contest for possession. The kicking team must stay behind the ball until it is kicked or the play will be offside.
  • Free-kick: After a safety, play is initiated by a free kick. The previous team that was on offense kicks the ball either with a drop kick or a punt kick from their 20 yard line. The receiving team may not block the kick and the kicking team may not contest for possession unless the ball is fumbled on the return attempt. Another (incredibly rare) form of free kick is the fair catch kick, which allows a free, unblocked placekick (worth three points, and thus a form of field goal) from the spot at which a punt is received provided the returner calls for a fair catch. However, the circumstances under which a team would actually WANT to do this are so rare that most lifelong fans aren't even aware of this rule's existence.
  • Touchback: If a team gains possession in the defensive end zone, the team begins their next series as though it had returned the ball to their own twenty yard line. This commonly happens on kickoffs and punts when the ball is either recovered in the end zone and not advanced, or goes out of bounds after entering the end zone. A touchback can also occur on interceptions (occasionally) and fumble recoveries (rarely, since the offensive team must fumble the ball forward into the end zone without actually scoring a touchdown).
  • Muffed Catch: during a change of possession kick if the player trying to receive the kick doesn't cleanly field the kick, it's called muffed. Often results in a turnover since once the ball has touched a receiving player it is live and recoverable by the kicking team.
  • Fair Catch: when the ball is kicked and the receiving player does not think they have enough space to return a kick they can call a fair catch meaning that if they catch the ball the play is dead where they caught the ball, they cannot be tackled and they cannot advance the ball. They do this by waving one hand above their head. Improperly signalling for a fair catch (waving 2 hands) is a penalty (trickery?). Preventing the player who signaled for a fair catch (by contact, intentionally or unintentionally) from catching the ball is also a penalty. If the player does not catch the ball after signalling the ball is live and recoverable by both sides, as this poor fellow from Wofford in a playoff game learned when he didn't down the ball in the end zone and the opposing team (Northern Iowa) stripped the ball from him for a free touchdown.
  • Downed Kick: if the kicking team during a punt recovers the kick before the receiving team this is called downing the ball (technically this is a rule violation called "illegal touching") the result is still a change of possession but the receiving team will have no opportunity to advance the ball. This is most commonly used to prevent the ball from going into the end-zone and pinning the other team deep in their own zone.
  • On-side kick: on a kick off, if the kicking team receives the ball before the receiving team on a kickoff the kicking team can retain possession of it, the only requirement is that the ball travel 10 yards before a member of the kicking team touches it (the only exception being if the receiving team touches it before it crosses 10 yards but doesn't maintain possession). The formation for this kick, if it's expected usually has a majority of the kicking team on one side of the kicker to maximize their chances. The receiving team will usually stack one side of the field to match. The kicker usually kicks the ball so that it bounces off the ground high in the air, this is for two reasons: one, when the ball touches the ground the receiving team cannot call a fair catch, two, this gives the ball a nice high arc allowing the kicking team time to get past the first line of blockers and a lot of spin to make it difficult for the receiving team to catch the ball. The ball can be advanced on an on-side kick reception. This play is normally used if the team kicking the ball needs to score and the game is nearing the end. It is a very risky play to attempt because if the kicking team does not receive the ball it puts the receiving team in very good field position.

Names to know in American Football (alphabetical in category, by last name)[]

Coaches:

  • Bill Belichick is the current coach of the New England Patriots. During his tenure, they won three Super Bowls in four years, then three years later became the first team to enter the Super Bowl with a record of 18-0 (which they lost). This in a decade (the dawn of the 21st century) where only three other teams so much as made the Super Bowl more than once. Known for being even more secretive with the media than most coaches and for always wearing a customized Patriots hooded sweatshirt (sleeveless; bears his initials) on the sidelines. His critics see him as a Non-Action Big Bad; his fans see him as a mad genius.
  • Paul Brown was coach of the Cleveland Browns and later owner-coach of the Cincinnati Bengals in the 1940s-70. He developed the professional offense. Won 8 professional championships with the Browns (all before the Super Bowl era) and mentored Bill Walsh and Don Shula.
  • Tom Coughlin is the current head coach of the New York Giants and former head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars (the latter team admitted it was a mistake to fire him). He has won two super bowls (both against the Belichick-led New England Patriots). At the beginning of his tenure with the Giants, he was known as a bit of a Drill Sergeant Nasty (which has some basis in truth, as he served in World War Two), and while he still retains his knack for discipline, he is reported to have warmed up considerably and become A Father to His Men. Prior to his head coaching career, he served on Bill Parcells coaching staff along with Belichick. He is constantly scrutinized by the New York media if the Giants fail to produce playoff results, but is able to remain cool under pressure. At 65 years old, he is the oldest head coach in the NFL, but has no intentions to retire anytime soon.
  • Mike Ditka was the coach of the Chicago Bears from 1982 to 1992. His 1985 Super Bowl winning team is sometimes considered the best football team of all-time. As a player for the Bears, he won a pre-merger NFL Championship, making him one of the few men to have done so as a player and coach. His subsequent tenure in New Orleans was not nearly as successful, due to the Ricky Williams trade detailed below. Since leaving coaching, he's been a prominent sports commentator and has fought to bring attention to the plight of retired players suffering from chronic game-related injuries. Also an interesting bit of What Could Have Been: He briefly considered joining the 2004 Illinois Senate race, where his stature would have dwarfed then-local state politician Barack Obama, drastically changing the latter's career.
  • Tony Dungy most famously coached the Indianapolis Colts. He got his start in Tampa Bay, where he was well-known as a defensive guru. He went to Indy where things were...slightly different (the Colts were more of an offense-based team). He was also well-known - alongside with Peyton Manning - for being fantastic in the regular season but capitulating to their opponent during the playoffs. This until 2007, when they overcame the stigma to win it all. He retired after the next year, and now he works as part of NBC's pregame show. He's also an outspoken Christian.
  • Jeff Fisher Coached the Houston/Tennessee Oilers/Tennessee Titans from 1994 to 2011, and owner of a Badass Mustache second only to Ditka's. Current head coach of the St. Louis Rams.
  • Mike Holmgren was the head coach of the Green Bay Packers for seven years and of the Seattle Seahawks for nine. He is best known for leading the Packers from division doormat to constant playoff success with the emergence of Brett Favre. He was also the Seahawks' first head coach after the purchase of the team by Microsoft executive Paul Allen. His hiring, making him the highest-paid NFL coach of all time, lent instant credibility to Seattle's on-field product and dedication to winning. Along with being head coach, he also served as the team's GM and vice president, letting him shape almost every aspect of the team and turning Seattle into a perennial playoff contender, including a very controversial loss in Super Bowl XL. Had he won, he would've been the first head coach to ever win two Super Bowls with two different teams. He left the Seahawks after the 2008 season, taking a one-year sabbatical before accepting a position with the Cleveland Browns.
  • Tom Landry was the first, and for nearly 30 years only, head coach of the Dallas Cowboys. His 'Boys put up an amazing streak of winning seasons that lasted 20 years from 1966 through 1985 - during this streak, his team only missed the playoffs twice. He is credited with inventing the 4-3 defense while an assistant with the Giants, then building an offense to beat it once he went to Dallas. Peyton Manning's Colts finally statistically broke the record for consecutive playoff appearances in 2010, but Cowboy fans are quick to point out that Landry's teams played in an era where fewer teams made the playoffs, cue the ceaseless debating over which streak is better. One of Jerry Jones' first moves was to give him the boot. Some might recognize him more as Hank Hill's role model.
  • Vince Lombardi was the face of the NFL during the 1960s, as he led his team to five NFL Championship victories - three of them came before the Super Bowl Era, but he won the first two Super Bowls as well. He coached the Green Bay Packers for nine years and the Washington Redskins for one, and holds the distinction of not only being the only coach to win three consecutive championships during the modern playoff era,[15] but of leading two of the greatest single-season turnarounds in professional league history.[16] As a result of his legacy, often considered to be the greatest in the sport's history, the trophy given to the winner of the Super Bowl is called the Vince Lombardi Trophy.
  • Marv Levy was the coach of the 4-in-a-row Super Bowl runner-up Buffalo Bills and the creator of the "K-Gun" no-huddle offense. His team dominated the AFC in the early '90s.
  • John Madden, while probably better known as a broadcaster, was once a coach (and even less famously, a player). His overall winning percentage ranks first in league history; also, his Raiders never posted a losing season under him. Later became a famous broadcaster, which in turn led to him being the face of the Madden NFL video game.
  • Chuck Noll was the coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers from 1969 to 1991. He has earned more Super Bowl rings as a head coach than anyone else. Architect of the feared "Steel Curtain" defense; ever since his tenure Pittsburgh has had a reputation as an excellent defensive team. His longevity has also contributed to the Steelers having more stability at head coach than almost any team in professional sports; the current head coach, Mike Tomlin, is only the third head coach (all of whom have won Super Bowls) since 1969.
  • Bill Parcells is a two-time Super Bowl-winning coach, most famously coaching the New York Giants (both Super Bowl rings are with them). He also coached the Patriots, the Jets, and most recently, the Dallas Cowboys. Best known for his emphasis on defense, and, while leading Dallas, his preference for signing/trading for players whom had previously played for him. He's retired from coaching three times. Fun fact: he was the first recipient of the Gatorade shower after winning the Super Bowl. For a while, signing him was akin to the franchise Growing the Beard; he turned Dallas around after three 5-11 seasons, then later did the same in Miami (taking them from 1-15 to 11-5 in one year) in a front-office position.
  • Andy Reid is the current head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles, and currently longest-tenured coach in the league. While he is the winningest coach in Eagles history and indeed helped turn them around from mediocrity, fans have a love-hate relationship with him because he has yet to deliver the Super Bowl title the city so very much wants. Despite his successes, he tends to be accused of costing the team quite a few winnable games by not watching the game clock and neglecting the run.
  • The Ryan Family: Consists of Buddy Ryan and his twin sons, Rex and Rob Ryan.
    • Buddy Ryan: Two-time Super Bowl winner—one for the New York Jets in Super Bowl III & one for the Chicago Bears in Super Bowl XX. He created the famed 46 defense. Buddy was known to have clashed with other coaches on his team; Buddy and head coach Mike Ditka were involved in a physical fight during halftime at the 1985 Monday Night Football game against the Miami Dolphins (in which the Bears suffered their only loss that season). Later, during a Sunday Night Football game against the Jets in 1994, Buddy, now a defensive coordinator for the Houston Oilers, punched Oilers offensive coordinator Kevin Gilbride, and openly criticized Gilbride's "Run and Shoot" offense, which he referred to as the "chuck and duck" offense.
    • Rex Ryan: The current head coach of the New York Jets (since 2009). Rex started as an assistant coach for the Baltimore Ravens from 1999-2008 (2004-2008 as a defensive coordinator), including their 2000 Super Bowl-winning season. Currently known for being one of the most outspoken coaches in the NFL, Rex gained notoriety in 2009 when he openly challenged Bill Belichick in a radio interview ("I never came [to New York] to kiss Bill Belichick's, you know, [Super Bowl] rings. I came here to win. So we’ll see what happens. I’m certainly not intimidated by New England or anybody else.").
    • Rob Ryan: The current defensive coordinator for the Dallas Cowboys.
  • Mike Shanahan coached Denver for a long time (13 years), and is currently coaching Washington. He also briefly coached the Raiders. He's best known for taking some serious no-name players, starting them at running back, and getting 1,000-yard seasons out of them, leading some to wonder if it's his system that makes them successful or if he's good at scouting talent at the position. He's well known for the tactic of "icing" the opposing kicker by calling a timeout right before the kick, and as a result, the tactic is colloquially known as "Shanahanigans."
  • Don Shula is the winningest (347) coach in NFL history, also the only coach to achieve an undefeated regular and postseason in the modern era with the 1972 Miami Dolphins.
  • Bill Walsh is famous for creating the "West Coast" offense (using short horizontal passes to set up long passes and runs), which heavily influenced the modern NFL passing game. Won 3 championships with the San Francisco 49ers in the 1980s.

Offensive Players:

  • Troy Aikman was the first overall draft pick of 1989 and the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys from then until 2000, a run that included three Super Bowl wins. A deadly efficient QB regarded as one of the most mechanically perfect and most accurate passers ever, as well as one of the greatest playoff performers in NFL history. His career was cut short by repeated concussions. He now calls games for FOX.
  • George Blanda was a highly successful quarterback and placekicker for the Bears, Colts, Oilers and Raiders. He was the third highest-scoring player in NFL history (and would be in first place by a huge margin if touchdown passes counted as points for the quarterback instead of the receiver) and still holds the record for the most career PAT kicks made and most touchdown passes in a game. He's probably best known for his incredible longevity. He played for a record 26 seasons in the NFL (from 1949 to 1975), and at the age of 48 in his final game, was the oldest man ever to play professional football. This earned him the nickname "The Grand Old Man".
  • Tom Brady is the quarterback of the New England Patriots, often considered in tandem with Peyton Manning as the best QB of the modern era. Has played in 5 Super Bowls, winning 3 of them. Two time MVP (2007, 2010). Holds the record for touchdown passes in a season (50), highest completion percentage in a playoff game (92.9%), and most pass attempts in Super Bowl history (155 in his career). Lead the only team to go 16-0 in the regular season, which also became the highest scoring team of all time. Became the fastest QB to record 100 wins (not counting playoffs), doing so in his 131st game (the previous record was 139 and held by Montana). Known for outstanding post-season play, leading 4th quarter comebacks, and being a handsome ladies' man (he dated actress Bridget Moyanhan, and he's now married to supermodel Gisele Bundchen). Is something of a Jerk Jock, sometimes storming off the field without shaking hands after a loss, and infamously laughing at Plaxico Burress's prediction of a 23-17 Giants victory (the Patriots only scored 14 points) in Super Bowl 42. Got seriously injured during the 2008 season on a hit from then-current Kansas City Chiefs (and now Baltimore Ravens) safety Bernard Pollard,[17] but has returned to form. Also notable about his career is that he was drafted very low (picked 199th in the 6th round by the Patriots out of the 7-round draft) and essentially flew under the radar (he was a 4th string QB in his first season) until a injury to then-starter Drew Bledsoe made the Patriots call Brady to play. And the rest is history. He was one of two players (the other being Drew Brees) to break Dan Marino's single-season yardage record in 2011 (but Drew Brees had more yards, so he's credited with the record).
  • Drew Brees is a quarterback who is the current face of the New Orleans Saints. He got his start with the San Diego Chargers, where he was almost always ignored despite putting up solid numbers. He turned free agent in 2005, just after a serious shoulder injury threatened his career. However, since joining the Saints, he has been mentioned in the same breath as Manning and Brady in terms of quarterback greatness. One of only a select few players to pass for more than 5,000 yards in a season. Became the most accurate passer in NFL history in 2009, completing 70.5% of his attempts. And in 2011, he broke the single-season passing yardage record with one game to go, in addition to topping his own record regarding completion percentage, and is on pace to add most consecutive games with a touchdown pass to his records in 2012, which would break Johnny Unitas's once thought unbreakable record.
  • Jim Brown was the first running back to amass over 10,000 career yards and the only one to average more than 100 yards per game. Brown led the league in rushing yards 8 times (more than any other runningback) and won one championship in 9 years with the Cleveland Browns in the 1950s-60s before retiring at the top of his game to pursue a film career. Considered the prototypical power back. Because of his size and appearance (he was as large as most linemen during his career), has more often played a linebacker or defensive coach in film roles than a running back.
  • Terrell Davis was a running back for the Denver Broncos, and one of Mike Shanahan's aforementioned stud runners. The quality portion of Davis' career only lasted for four years before a devastating knee injury. However, during those years, he was widely regarded as unstoppable. He was one of the focal points of their '90s Super Bowl years.
  • John Elway is a quarterback who spent all of his seasons with the Denver Broncos, who had a reputation as being a great "comeback artist". At the time of his retirement, his 148 wins were an NFL record. After losing 3 Super Bowls (by often embarrassing margins) in the late 1980s, Elway staged a late-career renaissance and led Denver to Super Bowl wins in 1997 and 1998 before retiring.
  • Brett Favre is the current all-time leading passer and was the Badass Grandpa of the NFL. A prototypical All-American Face as recently as three years ago, a string of un-retirements (from 2005 to 2010, he threatened retirement yearly and technically retired twice, but came back both times for different teams) and allegations of sexual harassment have arguably turned him into a bit of a Jerkass, which has made him into somewhat of a running joke. He was the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers for almost all of his career before his first "retirement" and then played for the Jets for one season before being traded to the Packers' division rivals, the Minnesota Vikings. Favre's change of loyalty was (in)famous enough that Iraqi prisoners used Favre's name to taunt troops from Wisconsin. In 2010, his 297-game-straight starting streak (that began in 1992 for you keeping score at home) was snapped when his injuries didn't heal in time for a Monday Night Football game. He retired for good (at least so far, as rumors still pop up from time to time of him attempting another comeback) after the 2010-11 season. Many of his backup QBs have spent many years of their careers on the sidelines and in his last few seasons, several of his wide receivers were young enough to still be in diapers when Brett first started playing pro. This longevity and his high-risk, high reward "gunslinger" passing style is why he holds so many records, both good (career wins, attempts,completions, touchdowns, and yards) and bad (career interceptions).
  • Doug Flutie was known to be a quarterback of modest success, but unique playing style. Very small for NFL standards (5'9", 180 pounds), Flutie often scrambled plays or threw hail mary passes, something that made him noticable when compared to the common drop back and play quarterbacks. Flutie took the long road back to the NFL after the lockout, spending several years in Canada dominating the Canadian Football League and, according to his fans in the north, became one of the few quarterbacks in the NFL to play a Canadian style game.
  • Tony Gonzalez is the current holder of all the tight end receiving records, as well as the first tight end to amass over 1,000 receptions. He spent most of his career with the Chiefs, and is now playing for Atlanta.
  • Michael Irvin was one of "The Triplets" with Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith, both of whom are listed above. "The Playmaker" was arguably the game's best wide receiver from 1991-1996, putting up huge numbers with the run heavy Cowboys. His career ended on a horrific neck injury in Philadelphia in 1999, where in a remarkable act of poor sportsmanship the fans booed as he was carted off the field.
  • Bo Jackson was one of the most highly anticipated and marketed athletes ever. He played running back for the then-Los Angeles Raiders. He also played in Major League Baseball for the Kansas City Royals, so he chose to be a part-time player throughout his career. Still, he is probably the best American two-sport athlete in history, and the only one to become a legitimate star in both sports. Until, unfortunately, he was tackled hard and suffered a major injury his hip in a playoff game against the Bengals, which ended his football career. He eventually recovered and played Major League Baseball again, though without much of the speed that made him such an asset. And, after all of this, he's still probably best remembered for being absolutely unstoppable in Tecmo Super Bowl.
  • Walter Jones is widely regarded as the best left tackle to ever play the game. He played for the Seattle Seahawks for 11 years. He was selected for the Pro Bowl nine times and was almost singlehandedly responsible for the dominant offensive line performance that led Shaun Alexander to dominance as a running back.
  • Jim Kelly was one of the last real "field general" quarterbacks in the NFL that actually called his own plays as opposed to executing plays called in from coaches on the sidelines. Was the quarterback of the 4-in-a-row Super Bowl runner-up Buffalo Bills during their reign over the AFC. It's a common misconception that the "K-Gun" no-huddle offense was named after him, but it was actually named after the second tight end Keith McKellar who was used in the formation.
  • Steve Largent was a wide receiver for the 1976 Seattle Seahawks expansion team and the first true superstar of the franchise. He played for thirteen years and retired with almost every career receiving record on the books; it was his bad luck that Jerry Rice came along only a few years behind to break almost every single one.
  • The Manning Family: Consist of Peyton, Eli, and their dad Archie.
    • Archie Manning was a good quarterback on a horrible team (the New Orleans Saints, who at the time were nicknamed "The Ain'ts") for a number of years. Perhaps better known for his College Hall of Fame career at Ole Miss; he's considered the best player they've ever had.
    • Peyton Manning is en route to breaking every single statistical record held by either Marino, Favre, or Elway and is known for his intelligence, ubiquity in commercials, and until the Colts won Super Bowl XLI, choking in the playoffs. He has had an incredible career, and has 4 MVP awards (three solo, one shared). It's almost a given that whatever two schlubs the Colts start at wideout can have big days thanks to his arm. Probably the only thing that could stop him from breaking those records is the injury that put him out for the 2011 season. Recently, Peyton was released by the Indianapolis Colts and their draft pick will be talking Peyton's reins now. After a recruitment tour that was breathlessly covered by the sports media, Peyton chose the Denver Broncos - home of fan favorite Tim Tebow, who is currently a new member for the New York Jets.
    • Eli Manning, the younger brother, doesn't quite have the flashy numbers that his older brother has, but that's to be expected as the quarterback for the more defense and run oriented New York Giants. Was considered a bit of a Fake Ultimate Hero for a while, trading on the Manning name rather than his skills. That all changed after Super Bowl XLII, when he led the wild card Giants to victory against the 18-0 Patriots in what is considered one of the greatest upsets in sports history, and after the team defeated the Patriots again in Super Bowl XLVI, he's generally considered to be at the same level as his brother. He's also now considered something of a Determinator due to his unflappable nature and his inability to get rattled by anything, on or off the field. Under constant New York criticism, Eli does not get discouraged by a bad play (or a series of them), and will get back up again after being sacked any number of times and continue playing as if nothing had happened. Here is a picture of Eli after a particularly bad sack, and he still had enough wits about him to call timeout (which was necessary at the time in the game), and continued to drive his team forward afterwards.
    • There is a third Manning, Cooper, but he stopped playing football after high school due to injury and became an investment banker. However, reports suggest that had he not been injured he would have been better than Peyton.
    • Both Peyton and Eli were subjects of the "Manning Face" meme, coined by ESPN columnist Bill Simmons.
  • Dan Marino was the Hall of Fame Dolphins QB who threw for a then-record 61,361 yards, and is the current or former holder of many other passing records. Marino had the unfortunate luck to be one of the all time greats at quarterback at a time when several other "greatest of all time" candidates (Joe Montana, Troy Aikman, John Elway, Steve Young, Brett Favre) were playing. Thus he managed the paradoxical feat of setting all kinds of records while his team was just good enough to make it into the playoffs and then lose badly in the first round. He is often called "The best quarterback to never win a Super Bowl".
  • Donovan McNabb is considered the best quarterback in Eagles' history and holds most of their records, but he's more notable because he might be the best real-life example of The Woobie or "No Respect" Guy there is, playing most of his career for a team whose fans arguably hated him and didn't mind letting him know it. Drafted in the same year as Ricky Williams, the Philly fans booed the team management when they took him instead. This would not be the last time they booed him. Every year since, without fail, his name came up when people were talking about trades. As a player, he was known for a number of years as a great QB who lacked a great supporting cast. When the Eagles brass finally gave him a reliable target in Terrell Owens (see below), he led the team all the way to the Super Bowl. The TO deal later came back to hurt Philly and he developed a bit of a reputation for being a Glass Cannon, which finally resulted in his trade to the rival Washington Redskins.
  • Joe Montana was the quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers during their 1980s dominance. He was one half of the famous play in the 1981 NFC Championship game known in NFL lore as "The Catch", along with Dwight Clark; he also led the 49ers on a 92-yard touchdown drive to win Super Bowl XXIII. Montana played in and won 4 Super Bowls and never had an interception in any of them. Two-time MVP and three-time Super Bowl MVP. Considered by some to be the greatest player in history, as well as probably its most famous. Also known for having quite possibly the coolest name in sports.
  • Randy Moss was a wide receiver, formerly of the Minnesota Vikings, Oakland Raiders, New England Patriots and Tennessee Titans. He has the distinction of being the top target for the two highest scoring teams of all time (the 1998 Vikings and the 2007 Patriots), currently holds the record for touchdown receptions in a season (23, 2007) and is 3rd in most of the all-time stats behind the also retired Jerry Rice and Marvin Harrison. Known as a loose cannon prior to joining New England; in Minnesota he openly admitted to coasting during games, hit a traffic cop with his car, and fake mooned the fans in Green Bay after scoring a touchdown. During the 2010 season, he was part of a bizarre rollercoaster of trades/releases/signings that saw him traded back to Minnesota...for all of one month, after which he was waived and picked up by Tennessee. He then retired before the next season began.
  • Joe Namath was a quarterback who most famously played for the New York Jets. He sits in the Hall of Fame despite putting up what could be called mediocre numbers; this is largely because he guaranteed a Jets victory in a Super Bowl III and backed it up with a win. This started the trend of players "guaranteeing" victory before key games, with varying degrees of success. Today, he's likely better known for drunkenly hitting on sideline reporter Suzy Kolber.
  • Terrell Owens is a wide receiver who, alongside Randy Moss, sits just behind Jerry Rice and Marvin Harrison in most of the all-time receiving stats. He's also up there with Randy Moss in Jerkass status, as he's well known for his outspoken egotistical behavior. He's played for the San Francisco 49ers, the Philadelphia Eagles, the Dallas Cowboys, the Buffalo Bills, and the Cincinnati Bengals, and each time his personal behavior has overshadowed his immense talent. Off the field, he's best known for alienating just about every quarterback that played with him - in San Francisco, he questioned Jeff Garcia's sexuality; in Philly, he feuded with Donovan McNabb. In Dallas, he ultimately accused Tony Romo of conspiring to keep him out of the offense. He didn't do too much damage in Buffalo, but that's mostly because he was gone after one year. He did have a pretty good year in Cincy (top 5 in most receiving stats).
  • Walter Payton was a running back who played for Chicago in the '70s and '80s. When he retired, his 16,726 rushing yards were the most ever gained by a running back. Nicknamed "Sweetness".
  • Adrian Peterson is a running back for the Minnesota Vikings. He set a slew of records during his rookie season including most yards rushed in a single game, (296) most yards rushing in the first eight games of a season, (1,036) and most 200-yard rushing games for a rookie.(2) In Peterson's first 30 games he had a total 3,101 yards, which marks the 3rd best start to a career for running backs. Peterson and Marshall Faulk are currently the only NFL players to win both the NFL Pro Bowl MVP and Rookie of the Year awards in the same year. Peterson also holds the Pro Bowl record in career rushing touchdowns.
  • Jerry Rice is the current all-time leader in receiving yards and touchdowns, most famously playing for the San Francisco 49ers during their dominant years. He also played for Oakland and Seattle. He was going to try to play for Denver, but he would not have been guaranteed a spot among the top three wide receivers, so he retired instead. Played for 20 years, won 3 Super Bowl rings, one Super Bowl MVP award and an AFC championship. If there's a record that is held by a wide receiver, chances are he holds it.
  • Aaron Rodgers, the 2011 Super Bowl MVP. At the beginning of 2008 he was given the unenviable task of replacing long-time Packers quarterback Brett Favre who left the team holding every major NFL passing record. He responded by becoming the first quarterback in NFL history to throw for 4,000 yards in each of his first two seasons as a starter, then led the Packers to victory in Super Bowl XLV following the 2010 season, bringing Green Bay its first NFL title in 14 years. He is also known for his "title belt" celebration where after a big play (usually when he makes a rushing touchdown), he makes a motion with his hands as if he's putting on an invisible championship belt. This has since been copied by a number of his teammates, most notably B.J. Raji in the 2010 NFC Championship Game, and is now part of a series of commercials for State Farm Insurance, where it becomes the "Discount Double-Check" as policy holders celebrate saving money and Rodgers wonders why his moves were stolen. Also does ads for a Milwaukee-area lawyer where him and the lawyer discuss current Wisconsin driving regulations and tips to prevent said lawyer from taking you on as a client to begin with after a car crash.
  • Ben Roethlisberger is the quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers, and has been since 2004. He won Rookie of the Year honors when he first played, becoming the first QB to do so since 1970 - first years usually aren't particularly kind to quarterbacks, as most teams that draft them are lacking other weapons (however, in the 2005-2008 time period, three quarterbacks have won RoY honors). His career began with him winning his first 13 starts (the previous all-time record was six). He has two Super Bowl rings, including the win in Super Bowl XL, which often shows up in "worst performance by winning QB" lists - he acquitted himself rather nicely when they played the Cardinals, though. Despite all this, he's probably best known for his various run-ins with the law and media. First he crashed his motorcycle, which he was riding without a helmet or license, and then came a scandal about his involvement with an 20 year old college student in a Georgia bar (which may have been non-consensual) that earned him a brief suspension. It was ominously the second such accusation that had been brought against him, the first one being a woman in Tahoe who claimed he had sexually assaulted her in his hotel room.
  • Barry Sanders is a running back who currently sits third on the all-time rushing list. Unquestionably one of the greatest players in Detroit Lions history, if not the greatest (especially in recent memory). In a game that often focuses on size, strength, and durability, Sanders relied on speed, elusiveness, and incredible athleticism. Thus, despite frequently being the smallest man on the field, he often produced mind blowing plays that made him seem impossible to stop or tackle. When he was active, it was an oft-repeated cliche that fans could watch Sanders run for a loss and come away convinced that he was the greatest running back of all time. Notable because he retired suddenly in 1999 when he was in striking distance of the all-time rushing yardage record. He didn't retire because of old age or health issues - he was just tired of playing for such a perennially losing organization.A short feature.
  • Shannon Sharpe is considered one of the greatest receiving tight ends of all time. He spent most of his career with the Denver Broncos and was one of the featured weapons during their two Super Bowl years. He then joined the Ravens for a two-year stint, during which he won another Super Bowl ring. He was also very well-known for his trash talking.
  • Emmitt Smith is a former Cowboy (also a former Cardinal) and the current all-time leading rusher. His rushing record seems safe for the time being, considering the active leading rusher (Edgerrin James) is a free agent and the others who are even remotely close (Fred Taylor, LaDainian Tomlinson) are either old or backups.
  • Bart Starr was the quarterback of the 1960s champion Green Bay Packers. Won two league MVP awards. Known for clutch performances in big games, including the "Ice Bowl", an NFL Championship Game won by the Packers over the Cowboys in subzero temperatures. Led the Packers to victories in the first two Super Bowls, as well as three other pre-Super Bowl era NFL championships, giving him more titles than any other quarterback.
  • Roger Staubach was the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys during the heyday of "America's Team" during the '70s. He was famous for his ability to scramble and to rally his team from behind in the final seconds, most famously in the "Hail-Mary" game against the Vikings in the '75 playoffs. He won two Super Bowls ('71 and '77) and appeared in two others ('75 and '78). While he was statistically the most dominant quarterback of his era, his four year Navy commitment between his college and professional years kept his career totals well below those of players like Unitas, Favre, and Montana. He's the Cowboys quarterback in Black Sunday.
  • Tim Tebow is a current quarterback for the New York Jets. While his accomplishments are not even close to the remainder of those on the list here, he is one of the most polarizing and meme-generating players in the modern NFL. After an extraordinary college career that left some asking if he was the greatest player ever at that level, serious doubts were raised about his ability to succeed in the NFL. What both his critics and fans can agree upon is that his throwing motion is atrocious and inaccurate (or rather, inconsistent; sometimes he's dead on but sometimes he's off by a mile), to the point where his own coaches publicly bashed it during a winning streak. His critics see him as a terrible player who succeeds by the efforts of his teammates but gets all the credit due to Wolverine Publicity. His fans see him as a natural leader and the walking embodiment of Crazy Enough to Work. A running meme has "Tebowing" (dropping to one knee with a fist on your forehead to pray) replacing "planking" as the go-to Twitter/FaceBook pic. In 2012, despite a winning record as a starter and a home playoff victory over the defending AFC Champs, he was replaced by Peyton Manning and was traded to the New York Jets.
  • LaDainian Tomlinson is a running back currently with the New York Jets. He played with the San Diego Chargers from 2001-2010. San Diego made out better on this deal. He was one of the earlier running backs to be known as a reliable pass catcher, starting something of a trend. Early in his career, it was believed that he might have a chance to break Emmitt Smith's rushing record, but injuries and a couple of bad years put an end to that. Playing in New York has rehabilitated his career somewhat.
  • Johnny Unitas was the quarterback for the Baltimore Colts from 1956 to 1972. He led them to victory in the "greatest game ever played", a 1958 playoff against the New York Giants that featured the first "sudden death" overtime. He also played in Super Bowl III (Earl Morrall started and played most of the game for the Colts) against Joe Namath's Jets and won Super Bowl V against the Cowboys; ironically the latter was considered one of the worst-played championship games, with 11 turnovers and 14 penalties between the teams. After retiring Unitas settled down in the Baltimore area; when the Colts surreptitiously relocated to Indianapolis in 1984, Unitas cut almost all ties with the franchise and "adopted" the Ravens when they came to Baltimore in 1996. He is known for his black high-top cleats and flat-top haircut, symbolizing the prototype "old school" QB. Unitas holds the record for most consecutive games with a touchdown pass, a record that has stood for five decades but which Drew Brees is now on the verge of breaking.
  • Kurt Warner is a quarterback who led the St. Louis Rams to a Super Bowl win in 1999 and a close-fought loss in 2001, won two season MVP awards for himself, later led the Arizona Cardinals to their first (losing) Super Bowl, and is statistically among the elite quarterbacks of all time. However, he's still probably better known for his unusual route to the NFL; after an undistinguished career at the obscure University of Northern Iowa, Warner bagged groceries for a little while, married his hard-luck college sweetheart, then began to bounce around the Arena League and NFL Europe before finally settling with the Rams. Also known for being a hardcore charismatic Christian.
  • Ricky Williams was one of the most heavily-hyped players in the year he was drafted. In an especially notable case, Mike Ditka, then coach of the New Orleans Saints, traded away all of his team's draft picks to ensure that he could draft him. Adding to the notability, the Eagles fans booed the team management for taking Donovan McNabb over him. As a player, he was mediocre until he went to the Miami Dolphins, where he was a dynamic, unstoppable force - until he suddenly retired in 2004, when it was revealed he had tested positive for marijuana. After he retired he spent a year Walking the Earth to "find himself" which included living in a tent in the Australian outback and then working for a hollistic medicine college in California. He unretired in 2005, played solidly for a season, then tested positive for marijuana a third time, jumped to the Canadian Football League for the 2006 season, missing most of the 2007 season, then played in one game before a hard stomp to the chest ended his season. He is still playing to this day, and he's...actually still pretty good. Playing for the Baltimore Ravens as of 2011.


Defensive Players:

  • Lawrence Taylor, while probably better known today as a drug addict, was at one time the most dominating defender in the NFL. The two-tight end offensive set was invented just because of this guy. He's also the player who laid out a gigantic hit on Redskins QB Joe Theismann which broke his leg and ended his pro career. To his credit, it was a legal hit and Taylor immediately called for help after he realized what had happened, but expect the highlight reels to omit that.
  • Deacon Jones was a defensive end who most famously played for the Los Angeles Rams in the '60s and '70s. Considered one of the greatest pass rushers ever, he coined the term 'sack' in its current usage, and is believed by many NFL historians to unofficially have the most sacks by any player (career or an individual season both); however, these sacks are unofficial, as they all occurred before the NFL started going over its records to make it an official stat in 1982. Jones' signature move, the "Head Slap", involved whacking the opposing lineman in the head with his forearm and running around him while he was dazed; it was so effective that the NFL eventually outlawed it.
  • Alan Page was an eleven-time Pro Bowl defensive tackle who was the first Defensive Player to win a MVP award and, as a lineman, blocked an impressive 15 field goal attempts and current justice of the Minnesota Supreme Court.
  • Ronnie Lott is perhaps the greatest all-around defensive back ever. He won four Super Bowl rings with the 49ers, played every position in the defensive backfield and was a Pro Bowler at all three. Famous for amputating part of his left pinkie rather than opt for surgery that would sideline him.
  • Jack Tatum was a hard-hitting safety for the 1970s Oakland Raiders nicknamed "The Assassin." He's famous for paralyzing Patriots wide receiver Darryl Stingley during the 1978 preseason (Stingley died years later as a result of the injury). He often said his best hits "bordered on felonious assault." He was the Raiders defender involved in Pittsburgh's famous "Immaculate Reception."
  • Deion Sanders was a very skilled cornerback, most famously playing for San Francisco and Dallas. Nicknamed "Prime Time". He was so fast that he could usually make up for getting burned by catching up to receivers during the time the ball took to get there, and he was widely recognized as "shutting down" his side of the field - that is, he was so skilled that opposing teams wouldn't even throw to the guy he was covering. Also known for craving the spotlight, being a dangerous punt returner, and having poor tackling skills. He ocassionally played wide receiver for the Cowboys, mostly due to Michael Irvin's drug habits. Like Bo Jackson, he played in the NFL and MLB. So far, he is the first and only man to play in both the Super Bowl and World Series (winning the Super Bowl twice—once for the 49ers and once for the Cowboys—and playing for the Atlanta Braves in the 1992 World Series).
  • Bruce Smith is officially the all-time leading sack specialist of the NFL - he holds the career sack record with 200 quarterback sacks. He played for the Buffalo Bills during their reign as 4-in-a-row Super Bowl runner-ups.
  • Dick Butkus was by far the best linebacker of the late '60s-early '70s, and easily in the running for the best ever - he once made a Sports Illustrated cover as "The Most Feared Man in the Game". He had incredible speed, strength, and instinct. Bet you aren't making fun of his name now, right?
  • Reggie White, the feared "Minister of Defense" played as Defensive End for the Philadelphia Eagles, Green Bay Packers, and Carolina Panthers from the late '80s through the early 2000s. He briefly held the career sack record with 198 sacks, but Bruce Smith passed him 2 years after his retirement. He was a key member of the 1997 Green Bay Packers Super Bowl winning team. He is widely regarded as one of the best defensive players to ever play the game. Died unexpectedly only four years after retiring in 2000. Was an actual Badass Preacher.
  • Joe Greene was a defensive tackle for the Pittsburgh Steelers in the 1970s and the cornerstone of the "Steel Curtain" defense. He's probably best known for this Coca-Cola commercial.
  • Mel Blount also played for the dominant Steelers teams of the 1970s. He is considered one of the best defensive backs of all time and his style of play was so ruthlessly effective that he inspired the "Mel Blount Rule", which limited how a defender could play on a receiver, making passing much easier and heralding the beginning of the pass-oriented era of the NFL it remains to this day.
  • Ray Lewis is a dominating linebacker and the face of the Baltimore Ravens. Widely considered one of the best defensive players still playing today, he's especially known as a complete defender.
  • Ed Reed is a free safety drafted by the Baltimore Ravens. Best known for his ability to read most quarterbacks like a book, and for making a NFL record 107 yard interception for a touchdown versus the Philadelphia Eagles in the 2008 season. The interception had broken his previous NFL record which was 106 yards.
  • Warren Sapp and Derrick Brooks were two top-drafted players by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers who helped turn the team from the league Butt Monkey into a Super Bowl champ. Sapp worked as one of the most disruptive - and noisiest - defensive linemen of the 90s, while Brooks was the best tackling and pass-defending linebacker of the day.
  • Rodney Harrison was an incredibly hard-hitting safety for the San Diego Chargers and New England Patriots (with which he won two Super Bowl rings). He is the first player in NFL history to record 30 sacks and 30 interceptions. Fun fact: he was the guy who injured Trent Green, the quarterback whom Kurt Warner was backing up.
    • Second fun fact: He was the guy holding David Tyree's right arm, forcing him to catch the ball against his helmet in the New York Giants entry noted below.
  • Michael Strahan is a seven-time Pro Bowl defensive lineman for the New York Giants. His last season was the one where they upset the Patriots in the Super Bowl. He currently owns the single season sack record with 22.5. He also has a huge, enormous gap in his teeth.
  • Bob Lilly, aka "Mr. Cowboy", the first NFL draft pick and first Hall of Famer for the Dallas Cowboys. A cornerstone of the "Doomsday Defense", he missed only one game over the course of his career. Famous for throwing his helmet half the length of the field when Dallas lost Super Bowl V on the last play, although they finally won Super Bowl VI the next year. Selected 1st team All-Pro seven times, sharing the title for most for selections as a defensive tackle with:
  • Randy White, aka "The Manster", was part of the Cowboys legendary 1975 draft and probably the best player on the "Doomsday II" defense that won Super Bowl XII (where White was co-MVP) and carried the Cowboys for years afterward. He was NFC defensive player of the year in 1978.
  • Cortez Kennedy was a defensive tackle who played for the Seattle Seahawks over eleven years throughout the '90s. He is best known for having been selected as the 1992 NFL Defensive Player of the Year in a season where Seattle went 2-14, by far the worst performance by any team whose player has been so honored. It makes for a sharp contrast in an era where Heisman Trophies are given to the QB or RB of the national champion almost by default to see such a dominating personal performance being recognized despite struggling aspects on other parts of the team.
  • Charles Woodson is a cornerback with a penchant for returning interceptions for touchdowns. He was drafted by the Oakland Raiders in 1998 and won the NFL Defensive Rookie of The Year award. After being named an All-Pro in his first three seasons, he would suffer a series of injuries that lead to the Raiders choosing not to re-sign him following the 2005 season. He signed with the Green Bay Packers in 2006 for what was supposed to be the twilight of his career. Instead, he became one of the NFL's most dominating corners, having intercepted 28 passes in his first four seasons as a Packer (he had 17 in eight years as a Raider), 8 of which he returned for touchdowns. He won the NFL's Defensive Player of the Year in 2009 when he intercepted 9 passes, returning for 3 touchdowns (both career highs). He is also (as of 2011) the only person to ever win the Heisman trophy as a defensive player, winning the honor over Peyton Manning. Also notable was that he was Tom Brady's teammate during his Michigan Wolverines days, and he was involved in the so-called Tuck Rule Game (the 2001 AFC Divisional Playoffs between Brady's Patriots and Woodson's Raiders), in which Woodson's strip-sack of Brady was overturned by the then-unknown "tuck rule",[18] which was introduced in 1999.
  • Clay Matthews III, also known as "The Predator", "The Claymaker", and "Thor" is a Green Bay Packers linebacker who has established himself as one of the most dominating defenders in the NFL after just two years in the league. He was named NFL Defensive Rookie Of The Year in 2009 and finished a narrow second in the voting for Defensive Player Of The Year in 2010. He and his cousin Kevin Matthews, a center for the Tennessee Titans, are third-generation NFL players and part of a vast football family that has included his grandfather Clay Sr. (linebacker, 49ers), his father Clay Jr. (linebacker, Browns and Falcons) and his uncle (and Kevin's father) Bruce (offensive linesman, Oilers and Titans). His younger brother Casey is a linebacker for the Eagles.
  • Troy Polamalu is the reigning Defensive Player of The Year, a hard-hitting safety who has spent his entire career with the Pittsburgh Steelers. He's well-known as a gamechanger - the seasons he's missed due to injury are often ones where the Steelers stay home during the postseason. He's also well-known for his very long hair (out of respect for his Samoan ancestry), which has gotten him in trouble with league officials every once in a while.[19] In one infamous hair-related incident, Larry Johnson, then of the Chiefs, pulled him down by his hair during an interception return. He's also well-liked among Orthodox Christians for being one of very few Eastern Orthodox public figures to display and discuss his faith publicly. If you pay close attention, you'll notice he makes the Sign of the Cross up-down-right-left before plays, as opposed to the western style of up-down-left-right.
  • James Harrison is a hard-hitting linebacker for the Steelers. An unheralded draft pick out of Kent State, he worked his way up to become one of the most dominating defenders in the league. He won the 2008 Defensive Player of the Year award over Ware. He's probably currently better known for his frequent instances of "Foot-In-Mouth Disease" than anything. Among other things, he's called out Ben Roethlisberger over the Super Bowl XLV loss and he called league commissioner Roger Goodell a homophobic slur in response to getting fined for hits on other players that are against new NFL rules against helmet-to-helmet contact to limit injury. (He also threatened retirement over the same rules.)
  • DeMarcus Ware is a sack-producing linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys. He's led the league in sacks twice, and is one of only a few players to notch a 20-sack season. He finished a very close second in Defensive Player of the Year voting that year.

Special Teams:

  • Pete Gogolak, aside from being the first kicker to adapt and popularize soccer-style placekicking, isn't particularly known for his career. However, he's accidentally one of the most important people in NFL history. When the NFL's New York Giants lured him away from the AFL's Buffalo Bills, they broke an unwritten rule that neither league would steal the other league's players. The Gogolak trade triggered a bidding war between NFL and AFL teams, as each rushed to grab players they previously thought were unattainable. Both leagues soon realized the fight would be costly and counterproductive for both leagues, so they instead began discussing a merger.
  • Ray Guy is considered the best punter in the history of the NFL. His punts were so good that rumors got started that the balls were full of helium.[20] The annual award for the best punter in college football is named for him.
  • Nate Kaeding is statistically the most accurate kicker in NFL history. He currently plays for the San Diego Chargers, but has an unfortunate habit of missing important kicks in the playoffs (whether he's solely to blame for the Chargers' playoff woes is up for debate.)
  • Shane Lechler is the punter for the Oakland Raiders, and considered the modern era's answer to Ray Guy.
  • Scott Norwood is infamously known among the general public for missing a 47-yard field goal that sailed wide right in the closing seconds of Super Bowl XXV, giving the Bills the first of its four Super Bowl losses. However, at the time, only half of the field goals at long distances (40-plus yards) on grass were successfully made, and Norwood, a turf kicker, wasn't good at kicking them (he was one for five that season). Despite this, Norwood surpassed O.J. Simpson as the Bills' all-time leading scorer, which has since been surpassed by Norwood's successor, Steve Christie. Norwood did play with the Bills for one more season, before his release. Norwood was the subject of an episode of ESPN's "The Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame..." series, which showed the other reasons why he can't be blamed for the loss. Finally, he was the basis for the character "Scott Wood" in the 1998 film, Buffalo '66.
  • Mike Vanderjagt is most accurate kicker in NFL and CFL history (having regained the NFL record after the afformentioned Nate Kaeding dropped a few accuracy points during the 2010 season). Played with the Indianapolis Colts for most of his NFL career, but ended his career with a rather dismal season in Dallas after Adam Vinatieri replaced him in Indianapolis.
  • Adam Vinatieri is known as one of the better kickers in the league. He played for New England during their three Super Bowl wins and Indianapolis during their one Super Bowl win. He helped the Patriots win two of their three Super Bowls with field goals at the end of the games, and all three of the Patriots' Super Bowl wins were won by three points.

Broadcasters:

  • John Madden, as mentioned above, is the definitive pro football broadcaster. Madden has spent time on all four of the major networks. He also has his name on the Madden NFL series of video games. Had a charming, if somewhat... unique, commentary style and a fondness for the telestrator. He's known for a crippling fear of flying, which has been marketed to create one of his signature awards, the Madden Bus with his players-of-the-week posted on the sides. Retired from broadcasting in 2009. BOOM!! Tough actin' Tinactin!
  • Keith Jackson is the most famous college football announcer ever. He has a very soothing voice and tends to use a lot of homespun sayings in his commentary. Whoa, Nellie!
  • Howard Cosell was a commentator on ABC's Monday Night Football from 1970-84. He was well known for his colorful personality, inimitable delivery, and awful toupee. Got fired after a Never Live It Down incident when he referred to a speedy black player (Alvin Garrett) as "that little monkey".

Commissioners:

  • Roger Goodell is the current commissioner. When he got the job, he stated that he wanted to clean up the league, since some teams have been well-known for their...somewhat illegal behavior. The other hot-button issues under his tenure have been the work stoppage and the ever-growing threat of concussions.
  • Pete Rozelle was active from 1960-1989, when he led the NFL through the war with the AFL and came out as the winner. He then proceeded to build the merged league into the strongest sports entity in the country.

Owners/Management:

  • Jerry Jones is the current owner of the Dallas Cowboys. He might be the most hated figure in the league, even among fans of his own team. For example, despite bringing three championships to Dallas many older Cowboys fans have never forgiven him for firing Tom Landry and then running his popular successor, Jimmy Johnson, out of town. He's best known for being very, very active in running his team. He is sometimes considered a real-life Expy of J.R. Ewing which was lampshaded in a series of advertisements in the '90s. His reputation has led to the extravagent new stadium he had built for his team in 2009 being referred to by such nicknames as "Jerryworld", "the Boss Hogg Bowl", and "Six Flags Over Jerry".
  • Daniel Snyder is the current owner of the Washington Redskins. While he has managed to make Washington the second most valuable NFL franchise, he's best known for being in an odd flux of Aesop Amnesia - one year, he'll snap up loads of (often past-their-prime) expensive free agents, then pledge to cut back in the next offseason. Which he does, but he usually goes back to his old tricks in the next offeason after that.
  • Al Davis was the one-time coach and most recent owner of the Oakland Raiders, and challenged Jerry Jones for "most hated figure in the league". Despite being a member of the Hall of Fame and once serving as commissioner of the pre-merger AFL, he was frequently caricatured by the sports media as an out-of-touch Disco Dan who made bizarre coaching/player decisions on a model of football that worked during the last period of Raiders' dominance in the league (1970-1983) but has since been rendered obsolete. Davis' stubborn refusal to adopt to the "West Coast Offense" may be a Take That to the San Francisco Forty-Niners as a result of the bad blood rivalry between them. He also sued the league several times claiming anti-trust law violations. Passed away recently on October 8, 2011.
  • George Preston Marshall was founder and longtime owner of the Washington Redskins. Marshall was known for using many innovations to build his fan base (e.g. gala halftime shows and cheerleaders), but was also the NFL's leading bigot for 40 years, not only naming his team the Redskins but also refusing to sign black players until the government forced him to.
  • Lamar Hunt was the owner of the Kansas City Chiefs and founder of the American Football League. He founded the AFL because the NFL awarded the Dallas franchise to another group of owners. His league was known for many innovations in the game such as more open passing offenses (as opposed to the NFL's reliance on power running games) and was so improbably successful that the AFL and NFL were in an unsustainable competition for the best rookies. The rise of his league created the Super Bowl, which he named, (initially the AFL-NFL World Championship Game) and forced the NFL agree to a merger with the AFL. Today many fans believe that the NFL is much more like the AFL used to be than how the NFL used to be.
  • The Green Bay Packers are unique in the league in that they do not have a "traditional" ownership; instead they are collectively owned by 121,012 shareholders[21] mostly based in Green Bay and the surrounding communities. They have an Executive Committee that makes most of the traditional owner decisions, and it is the president of this committee that generally gets sent to owner meetings. The purpose behind this was twofold: when the team was strapped for cash in the pre-revenue sharing days, it allowed the team to survive without being bought or moving. Secondly, due to restrictions in the stock, they will effectively never move from Green Bay.[22] This ownership setup is actually banned under current league rules; it is allowed to continue due a Grandfather Clause.
  • Several teams, especially very old ones, have had owners over multiple generations. These include the Chicago Bears' Halas family , the Pittsburgh Steelers' Rooney Family, the New York Giants' Mara family,[23] and the Arizona/Phoenix/St. Louis/Chicago Cardinals' Bidwell family.

Notorious figures associated with American Football:

  • Michael Vick played for the Atlanta Falcons. As an athlete, he more or less redefined the quarterback position - he was extremely mobile with the football, if a mediocre passer. However, that all came to an end when it was discovered he ran an illegal dogfighting operation and was sent to prison for 2 years and pretty much became persona non grata with football fans. After being released from prison, he signed a one-year contract with a team option for a second year with the Philadelphia Eagles on August 13, 2009 and partway through the 2010-2011 season became the team's starting quarterback. After a whirlwind Redemption Quest, he was shown to still be an excellent quarterback, leading the Eagles into the 2010 Playoffs, winning the NFL Comeback Player of the Year award, scoring a new endorsement deal with Nike and even lobbying in support of a bill that would persecute those who attend illegal animal fights or bring children to them. He's almost returned to his pre-dogfighting level of popularity, but the general public has still not forgiven him.
  • O.J. Simpson was a dominant running back. As an athlete, he had the first 2,000 yard rushing season with the Buffalo Bills in the (14-game) 1973 season, and is one of only a few people to earn Most Valuable Player on a non-playoff team and after he retired from football he became a moderately popular movie actor. Then in 1994 he allegedly killed his wife and her friend. After the "Trial of the Century", he was found not guilty. This created a great deal of arguing, and the trial pretty much obliterated his long-held "nice guy" persona he had cultivated for decades (especially after he published a book about how he would have murdered his wife, 'if he had done so'). Recently, he was found guilty of robbing and assault two sports memorabilia collectors (justifying his actions because he believed this memorabilia was somehow "his" because it had his autograph on it), and will be imprisoned for at least nine years.
  • Rae Carruth was a former wide receiver for the Carolina Panthers, who during his playing career was considered a rather nondescript, average player. During his third professional season in 1999, his pregnant girlfriend was mortally wounded in a drive-by shooting in Charlotte, North Carolina, but survived just long enough to accuse Carruth of arranging the hit. (Her son was delivered and saved by Caesarean section.) Arrested for murder, he was acquitted on that charge but convicted of conspiracy to murder, receiving a 19-year prison term.
  • Adam "Pacman" Jones is currently playing cornerback for Cincinnati, previously playing for the Tennessee Titans and later the Dallas Cowboys. He got into several fights at stripclubs, and served a year's suspension. Was part of an angle on TNA Wrestling, including winning their Tag Team Championships, despite having a stipulation in his contract that he could not wrestle. As opposed to half the TNA roster, who don't need a contract stipulation to be unable to "wrestle".
  • Donte Stallworth has played wide receiver for several teams. He pled guilty in 2009 to vehicular manslaughter after driving drunk and killing a jaywalking pedestrian in Miami, Florida and received the lightest sentence of any NFL player convicted of killing another person, 24 days in jail and five years' probation. He was suspended for the entire 2009 season, was subsequently released by the Browns and almost immediately got picked up by the Ravens.
  • Plaxico Burress was a wide receiver who started out with the Pittsburgh Steelers but was most famously a New York Giant. Recently finished serving a two years prison sentence for bringing an loaded gun to a nightclub (where he accidentally shot himself in the thigh). Apparently he thought an expired carry license from another state would be acceptable in New York City, which has some of the most restrictive gun laws on America. And thought that sticking a loaded gun with the safety off in his pocket was a good idea.
  • Ryan Leaf was a quarterback most famously employed by the San Diego Chargers, and the #2 pick of the 1998 Draft. He is also generally considered to be the biggest draft bust of all time (Peyton Manning - at the time often compared to Leaf - was drafted in the same year and has gone on to unmeasurable success). He eventually resurfaced as a quarterbacks coach at West Texas A&M, which he lost after asking a student for pain pills.
  • Gregg Williams is...well, he's not doing much of anything now. He was going to be the defensive coordinator for the Saint Louis Rams, but that was put to a halt when it was revealed he spearheaded the massive "Bountygate" program for the New Orleans Saints (essentially, a pool where bonuses were paid to defensive players who injured key offensive players). It's also been revealed that he had similar pools with the other teams he coached. Currently indefinitely suspended by the league.

Divisions and Teams[]

NFL Divisions: There are two conferences, the NFC and the AFC, and 8 divisions, each of which has some of its own unique personality. The conferences, the National and American Football Conferences, are Artifact Titles from the the time when many of the AFC franchises played in the rival American Football League (AFL) before the two leagues merged into the modern version NFL. Normally, each team considers every other team in its division as a rival, but there are some inter-conference and inter-divisional rivalries as well.

Divisions have changed from time to time. The most recent change came about when the Houston Texans entered the league, causing a switch to a 8-division method.

They are presently as follows:

NFC:

  • NFC East (Dallas, New York Giants, Philadelphia, & Washington): A slight artifact title because Dallas is west of the Mississippi, however, it was structured this way to preserve the intense rivalries amongst its four teams. The NFC East is considered one of the league's stronger divisions and is its most decorated with its teams holding 12 Super Bowls (as of 2012). The winner usually rotating among the Giants, the Eagles, or the 'Boys (with the 'Skins holding the bag). Each of the teams usually puts up a pretty good game against each other as well. Sometimes called "The Glamour Division", both because all four teams are big-market teams with long histories, and because, in recent years, all four have a tendency to excite hype and excitement in the offseason which they usually do not live up to.
  • NFC North (Chicago, Detroit, Green Bay, & Minnesota): AKA, "The Black & Blue Division" and "The Norris Division."[24] It was known as the NFC Central Division prior to the 2002 season and was the only division to remain intact after the 1970 AFL-NFL merger. Thus, it is considered the oldest division in professional football. Green Bay won the first crown en route to its eleventh NFL Championship and second Super Bowl victory in 1967. The next two were won by Minnesota which went on to dominate the division in the '70s, followed by Chicago in the '80s and Green Bay in the '90s with the division crown rotating between the three of them in the '00s. Detroit is the perennial Butt Monkey, even posting a winless season in 2008. It is home to some of the longest running rivalries in the NFL and two of the teams were previously led by Brett Favre over the course of 18 seasons (GB:1992-2007 & MIN:2009-2010).
  • NFC South (Atlanta, Carolina, New Orleans, & Tampa Bay): Originally thought of as the castoffs when pro football went to four divisions, they've actually played pretty good having sent a team to most NFC Championship games, except for 2008 and 2009. New Orleans and Atlanta had fairly solid seasons in recent years, while Carolina and Tampa Bay are currently in rebuilding mode. All four teams in the division have been to the Super Bowl since 1998, and since the formation of the division in 2002, a different team has won the division every year. Oddly, from 2003 to 2007 and in 2009, the previous year's last-place team won the division. In 2008, the previously last place team, Atlanta, merely made the wild card playoff spot instead, and in 2010, Tampa Bay, 2009's last place team, just missed out on the playoffs, losing a tiebreaker to Green Bay.
  • NFC West (Arizona, St. Louis, San Francisco, & Seattle): Lately one of the league's weakest divisions, usually only sending its division winner to a one-and-done playoff experience although this was Subverted by Seattle with a shocking victory over the defending champion Saints, despite having a losing record heading into the game. Also Inverted by Arizona in 2008 thanks in large part to Kurt Warner's resurgence where they reached the Super Bowl despite only nine regular season wins and being called "the worst playoff team" by many people. Speaking of Warner, St. Louis' Greatest Show on Turf offense dominated the division in the early 00's but slowly fell out of power to Seattle, and then Arizona. San Francisco used to be one of the NFL's strongest franchises with four championships in the 80's and one in the 90's, when it was known for the innovative "West Coast Offense" and having several hall of fame players on the roster(Joe Montana, Steve Young, Jerry Rice, see above). However, since the late 90's they have been on a steady decline as they've been unable to find decent replacements as those players all retired or fell to injury. Luckily, 2011 was kind enough for them to finally return to the playoffs.


AFC:

  • AFC East (Buffalo, Miami, New England, & New York Jets): Throughout much of the '00s, New England had an absolute lock on this division, with the best thing any other team could hope for being a wild-card berth. However, with various free agency losses and retirements (not to mention injuries and a particularly bad loss to the Giants), the Patriots' stranglehold has started weakening in the late '00s, though they still win the division EVERY SINGLE YEAR. Notable for the fact that it contains several of the oldest franchises from the AFL, which is why it retained the geographic oddity of having Miami in its division even though it is geographically the southernmost NFL city.
  • AFC North (Baltimore, Cincinnati, Cleveland, & Pittsburgh): The home of intimidating defenses and hardcore players...and the Cleveland Browns. All of these teams have fairly storied histories - well, except Cincinnati (were fairly decent in the '80s, making the Super Bowl twice, but typically struggle so much they are better know as the Bungles). Pittsburgh traditionally wins the division unless Baltimore or Cincy is feeling particularly frisky that year.
  • AFC South (Houston, Indianapolis, Jacksonville, & Tennessee): Another contender for "strongest division"; though Indy ran away with the division during the Peyton Manning years, Tennessee and occasionally Jacksonville can usually put up a decent fight. Houston was known as a decent team in a division where "decent" wasn't good enough. They came very close to a playoff berth in 2009 and 2010, and earned their first playoff birth and playoff victory in 2011.
  • AFC West (Denver, Kansas City, Oakland, & San Diego): Another entrant into the contest for "weakest division". San Diego has had a fairly solid lock on the division for a while now, though Denver usually makes a solid push (but dies out around midseason). Kansas City and Oakland have made top-10 draft picks for several years now. By the way, these four teams have been in the same division since the beginning of the AFL.

NFL Teams: There are 32 NFL Teams, a few of which are more famous than others.

AFC

  • The Baltimore Ravens began play as an expansion team in 1996 when the entire roster and coaching staff of the Cleveland Browns vanished and rematerialized in Baltimore. That's obviously not true, but it's more or less the NFL's official story. What happened is that owner Art Modell wanted to leave Cleveland with the Browns, but had to reach a settlement in which the history, colors, nickname, records, etc. of the Browns stayed in Cleveland. Confused? You should be. (Ironically, the same thing happened to Baltimore in the 80's, when the then-Baltimore Colts team famously left unnanounced in the middle of the night in a fleet of moving vans. At the time, the biggest critic of the Colts' move outside the state of Maryland was...Art Modell.) Known mostly for their stifling defense. The face of the team is linebacker Ray Lewis, who led the team to a Super Bowl win in 2000, but unfortunately was ignored by the media because he was indicted for murder earlier in the year. Ah, the NFL. The Ravens are division rivals of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the rivalry between the two teams has been said to be the most bitter in the NFL.
  • The Buffalo Bills are the third team to lose four Super Bowls. Not only that, they did it four years in a row. Other than that, possibly the only NFL city with weather worse than Green Bay. As the city of Buffalo's economy has been in a tailspin for nearly four decades, the Bills are commonly mentioned when talking about putting a team in Los Angeles. They have begun playing some home games in nearby Toronto to attempt to alleviate this concern. (Thereby raising others; there's also talk of having them become the first Canadian NFL team.)
  • The Cincinnati Bengals are a historically bad team that has been in two Super Bowls (XVI and XXIII) and lost both to the San Francisco 49ers. Pretty much came into existence solely as a Take That effort to allow former Cleveland Browns coach Paul Brown to come back to the league after being fired years before; the team even uses the same helmet color as the Browns. Currently suffering from an image problem due to having more players arrested in the past two years than every other team combined. Like every other team that has at some point been associated with the state of Ohio, they are bitter rivals of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Until recently, they were famous as the home of the NFL's resident Cloudcuckoolander, wide receiver Chad Ochocinco (Formerly Chad Johnson), currently of New England. They've managed to shock pretty much everyone this season, especially their own fans, by doing very well, largely thanks to the work of rookie quarterback Andy "the Red Rifle" Dalton, rookie wide receiver A. J. Green, and a very nice defense.
  • The Cleveland Browns are a former powerhouse that has won and appeared in more professional championships than any other team, but has not been to a championship game since 1964. Known for choking in the clutch, especially against the Denver Broncos in the mid to late 1980s. (Don't ask Browns fans about "The Fumble"). After the original team left in 1996, the city filed a federal lawsuit and was awarded the team name, colors, and franchise history, then an expansion team in 1999. Since then, the team has been a laughingstock. Rivals of the Pittsburgh Steelers and (to a lesser extent) the Baltimore Ravens, though this more or less just makes them a punchline in Pittsburgh and Baltimore.
  • The Denver Broncos are the second team to lose four Super Bowls. Historically a strong franchise, they eventually won two behind quarterback John Elway at the tail end of his career. Also always seem to have a stud anonymous 1000-yard rusher every year. Their stadium, called Sports Authority Field at Mile High (the "Mile High" having been added in an attempt to calm complaints about the corporate name, and as a Shout-Out to previous home Mile High Stadium), is literally a mile up, just like the rest of Denver, which makes their home games tough on the visiting teams. Made a lot of noise in the 2009 offseason when new coach Josh McDaniels succeeded in alienating the team's star quarterback so badly that they were forced to trade him to Chicago. (Chicago made the playoffs in 2010, McDaniels got fired before the season was over).
  • The Houston Texans are the NFL's newest franchise, having begun play in 2002. Haven't really done anything of note yet. After the Houston Oilers became the Tennessee Oilers, who then became the Tennessee Titans, Houston was promised an expansion team. However, since the Titans owned (and refused to sell) the rights to the Oilers name and colors (Titans owner Bud Adams specifically had the team spend one season as the "Tennessee Oilers" so that a repeat of the Cleveland Browns situation would be impossible), they based their name after the original Houston Texans, a WFL team that played in 1974. After several seasons at or below mediocrity, the Texans broke through in 2011 with their first division win and the franchise's first playoff birth.
  • The Indianapolis Colts are a mediocre franchise that suddenly became dominant after drafting popular media-darling quarterback Peyton Manning in 1998. With Manning on the team, they became a regular playoff contender (including a Super Bowl win in 2007), but when he was out for the 2011 season due to a neck injury they instantly fell to worst in the league. The Colts are a long-running franchise that dates, in some form, all the way back to 1913.[25] They were in Baltimore until they literally escaped in moving vans in the middle of the night in 1983; the city of Baltimore now wishes they had had the presence of mind to do to this team what Cleveland did to the Browns... A team of many firsts. As the Baltimore Colts, they had the first cheerleading squad and marching band.[26] They also won the first-ever sudden-death overtime game, which has sometimes been referred to as "The Greatest Game Ever Played". Divisional rivals of Tennessee, Jacksonville and Houston.
  • The Jacksonville Jaguars are an average franchise based in the South that began play in 1995 and chose a predatory feline as their mascot. Along with the Carolina Panthers (another expansion team with a predatory feline mascot created that year), they made it to their respective conference championship in 1996 but lost. As the Jacksonville Metro area has only 1.5 million people (and thus a tiny media market), this is another team that's been considered for a move to Los Angeles. The current face of the franchise is Maurice Jones-Drew, a running back of small stature but enormous talent who is often among the league leaders in rushing and has a popular nationally syndicated fantasy football radio show. Also known for currently having the league's most popular(and one of the more outrageous when it comes to antics) mascot, Jaxson De Ville. Midway into the 2011 season, the Jaguars made a little news via firing long time head coach Jack Del Rio and previous owner Wayne Weaver selling the franchise to Shahid Khan, a multimillionaire from Illinois whose mustache is as well known as his business skills—fans can be seen wearing "Khanstaches" at home games in support of their new owner. They share divisional rivalries with Tennessee, Houston and Indianapolis and are geographical rivals of Miami and Tampa Bay, although none of the teams in Florida take their rivalries seriously.
  • The Kansas City Chiefs started life as an original AFL team as the Dallas Texans, owned by AFL founder Lamar Hunt until his death. They moved to Kansas City once it became obvious that Dallas wouldn't support two teams (the Cowboys started at the same time; the Texans won the AFL championship in 1962 but the not-very-good-at-the-time Cowboys were the more popular team), changed their name because the Kansas City Texans is clearly ridiculous (although there is word Hunt did consider keeping the Texans name), but still includes their pre-Chiefs years in the team history. Under Hank Stram, the Chiefs won three AFL championships (1962, '66 and '69) and appeared in the first and fourth Super Bowls, beating the Vikings in the latter. Unfortunately, it didn't last and the Chiefs went into a decline in the mid-1970s, not long after they lost to the Miami Dolphins in a playoff game that went into two overtime periods and is still the longest game in NFL history (A United Stats Football League game in the 1980s went into a third overtime, but that doesn't count). There was a brief renaissance during the early years of Marty Schottenheimer and a scorched-earth 2003 campaign that ended with a first round playoff loss but since the mid-'00s they have been increasingly pathetic. If you ever heard the phrase "you play to win the game" with odd stressing on the syllables, blame the Chiefs' former head coach, Herm Edwards, who nearly destroyed the team. They did however win their division in 2010 thanks to a new coach and a much-improved offense and front office.
  • The Miami Dolphins are best known as the only team to achieve a "perfect season" (no losses or ties in regular season or playoffs), doing so in 1972. Players and fans Mercury Morris and the media alike will never shut up about that feat. Other than that, they were the team of Dan Marino, one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time, who never won a Super Bowl. Ever since his retirement, they've pretty much had a revolving door at quarterback. Also had Don Shula, the winningest coach in the NFL, and since 1970, have been the winningest team in the league.
  • The New England Patriots were historically terrible, but they became the Team of the '00s behind quarterback Tom Brady and coach Bill Belichick, winning three Super Bowls in four years from 2001-2004. They almost won a fourth in 2007, but after a perfect regular season and playoffs got blindsided by the New York Giants in the Super Bowl, and haven't been the same since. Were accused of illegally recording their opponents' defensive signals from the sidelines that season, an allegation known as "Spygate" which has stuck with them. Rivals of the New York Jets, but more for the complicated politics swirling between them. In the 90's, Pats coach Bill Parcells left on bad terms to coach the Jets, and Belichick left the Jets on odd terms after just one day on the job to coach the Pats 4 years later. Also, then-Jets coach Eric Mangini's allegations led to the scandal in 2007. (Mangini was a former Belichick assistant in New England, and signal-stealing scandal resulted in a fine for Belichick[27] and lost a 2008 first-round draft pick for the Patriots.) Because of their winning ways and their coach being compared to a mad genius, they're often joked to be the Big Bad of the NFL. Were called the Boston Patriots from 1960-1970 until the building of Foxboro Stadium, which was actually closer to Providence, Rhode Island than it was to Boston. Around this time it was decided that the team represented the whole New England area.
  • The New York Jets are New Jersey's other, more forgettable team. Originally the New York Titans. Traditionally Long Island's football team, they have been based in the Giants' home stadium since 1984. Sometimes derisively referred to as "Jersey-B" in the sports media. They are known for their "J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets" chant, which some of the rowdier fans translate this to.......other four-letter words. Did we mention that the Jets have a rather tough fanbase (although not as rough as the Eagles'). They've even stopped selling alcohol at a few games because of it. The high point of the franchise came in 1968, when quarterback Joe Namath "guaranteed" victory over the heavily favored Colts, and actually won Super Bowl III, giving the AFL teams credibility. (The guarantee thing seems to be endemic to New York sports: see Babe Ruth in 1932, Mark Messier in 1994, Jim Fassel in 2000.) Besides creating the annoying tradition of underdog teams "guaranteeing" victory in important games, this had the more lasting effect of proving the viability of the AFL and validating the merger with the NFL that had been agreed to. After the Super Bowl win, they spent decades as a bottom-of-the-barrel team, though they're generally decent to good these days, and in the '80s they were known as a defensive powerhouse led by their "New York Sack Exchange" D-line. Led by extremely outspoken head coach Rex Ryan and quarterback Mark Sanchez, they've made it to two AFC Championship games in two years, beating the favored Colts and Patriots to get there.
  • The Oakland Raiders are the Eagles of the West Coast, as their fans often dress up in ridiculous costumes for the game. In 1982, the Raiders moved from Oakland to Los Angeles. They were quite popular in LA, but had to play in the aging Los Angeles Coliseum. With 95,000 seats the Coliseum was usually not sold out for games which caused TV blackouts for the Raiders in LA. The area was also considered dangerous and the Raiders attracted many gang members as fans. After failing to get a new stadium, Al Davis moved the team back to Oakland in 1995. Once a pretty good team, the Raiders are now known mostly for a revolving-door coaching staff, for picking up players that (due to either age or criminal history) no one else will touch, for drafting/signing speedy players who can't really do anything else to outrageous contracts. Al Davis was also known for massively interfering in the coaches' jobs during his tenure as owner. The Raiders have a long-standing rivalry with San Francisco due to their proximity (their home cities are separated only by the width of the San Francisco Bay) that has historically been more intense between the administrators of each club than on the field. For a long time, the two clubs even refused to schedule each other in preseason because of it, and they won't again beginning in 2012 due to fan violence after their 2011 preseason game. As of 2012, it's the only team that shares its home field with a Major League Baseball team, in this case, the Athletics, thus it plays over dirt during the early part of the season rather than a full grass field.
  • The Pittsburgh Steelers are perhaps the most successful team of the modern NFL era, a contrast to their status as perhaps the most pathetic team in the pre-merger NFL. They have won the Super Bowl six times and have played in eight, more than any other team for the former and tied with the Dallas Cowboys for the latter. Generally known for playing a conservative offense and aggressive defense. They won two Super Bowls in the 2000s, but are historically known for their great teams in the 1970s and their "Steel Curtain" defense. In a disturbing turn of fate, many members of the great 1970s teams later suffered various misfortunes and mental/physical problems traced to their playing days. The team of current broadcaster and occasional TV personality Terry Bradshaw, winner of 4 Super Bowls. They've recently had a couple of big-name players (Santonio Holmes and Ben Roethlisberger) in the news for various reasons (not good reasons, either). Heinz Field is known for having a field that's been called the worst in the NFL, though the players refuse to switch to turf like the Patriots did because of tradition (during a horrible rainstorm in 2006 the Steelers and Dolphins nearly played into overtime scoreless because of a very muddy field already pummeled by a pack of college and high school football games the week before; the Steelers only won near the end on a chip-shot field goal). Prior to Chuck Noll's tenure, which began in 1969, the Steelers had never won an NFL title in any era and had only one playoff appearance, which was a divisional tie-breaker, not a championship game. Since 1969, the Steelers have had just three head coaches: Noll, Bill Cowher and current head coach Mike Tomlin.
  • The San Diego Chargers were an original AFL franchise who made the jump to the NFL. They were based in Los Angeles and got their nickname because they were owned by Barron Hilton (yes, Paris's grandfather), who also owned the Carte Blanche credit card (though because of their lightning logo scheme this has almost been all but forgotten). Since Los Angeles thinks it's too good for the NFL, San Diego is pretty much the de facto Southern California team. San Diego has a longtime habit of choking in the playoffs, first with Dan Fouts in the 1980s, then 20 years later with LaDainian Tomlinson and Philip Rivers. Made the Super Bowl in 1994, but suffered a humiliating blowout at the hands of the 49ers. Fun fact: former Charger placekicker Rolf Benirschke once hosted Wheel of Fortune. In other trivia Eli Manning was drafted by the Chargers, but demanded a trade before he even started playing. The Chargers' general manager, A.J. Smith, is widely mocked as "The Lord of No Rings" (coined by Eli's father Archie) for his inability to put together a Super Bowl winning team. His continued failure to do so, despite offensive superstars as Tomlinson and Drew Brees, and exceptional return specialist Darren Sproles having played for his team (all of them now playing elsewhere), has made the nickname stick among fans.
  • The Tennessee Titans were formerly known as the Houston Oilers. Generally pretty good year in and out, they were well-known for using the "Run and Shoot" offense in which two extra wide receivers replace the tight end and fullback. Led by QB Warren Moon, they put together good records in the '90s but never made it through the playoffs, once blowing a 32-point lead in the 4th quarter to Buffalo (The largest surrendered margin in playoff history). They moved to Tennessee in the late 90's, dropped the "Run and Shoot", (and the "Oilers" name, since Tennessee is not particularly famous for oil production.) and got their revenge on Buffalo in 1999 by pulling off an absolutely ridiculous last-play kickoff return to win the game, dubbed the "Music City Miracle". They made it to the Super Bowl and lost when the game's final play ended just inches short of the goal line. The Titans were coached for 16 seasons by Jeff Fisher and Jeff Fisher's mustache, one of the great underrated coaching duos in the league; at the start of his tenure, they were still the Oilers.

NFC

  • The Arizona Cardinals are the NFL's oldest franchise (they began in Chicago in 1899), and historically one of its least successful...until 2008, when they won more playoff games in three weeks than the team had won in the previous 60 futile years, coming within a minute or so of winning a Super Bowl. Sometimes called the "football Cardinals", a throwback to the time they played in St. Louis, a city which already had (and still does have) a baseball team by the same name. Currently play in a stadium that looks like a giant steel rattlesnake curled up in the desert and is named for the University of Phoenix, an online school which doesn't even field a chess team. They own one of the best playing wide receivers around in Larry Fitzgerald.
  • The Atlanta Falcons were rushed into the NFL in the mid-'60s when it looked like the AFL was going to put a team there. They really haven't gotten over that birthright, seeming to always fall just short of credibility (although they did make it to the Super Bowl in 1998). From their inception until the 2009 season, the Falcons never attained consecutive winning seasons. They're currently owned by Home Depot owner Arthur Blank, and were the team Michael Vick was playing for when his rather cruel hobby was exposed. Since drafting Matt Ryan and hiring coach Mike Smith, they've been one of the NFC's more solid teams, but are coming down with a reputation as a team that chokes in the playoffs.
  • The Carolina Panthers are an expansion team created in 1995 alongside the Jacksonville Jaguars. They made it to the conference championship in 1996, and all the way to the Super Bowl in 2003, where they lost to the Patriots by a field goal. Since then, it's been a slow erosion to non-contender status. The drafting of college superstar, Cam Newton, has helped revitalize fan interest in the Panthers.
  • The Chicago Bears are the other original NFL franchise, actually predating the league. They started in Decatur, Illinois, before being moved to Chicago by NFL legend George Halas. As with most Chicago sports franchises, their best days are far in the past, with eight league championships through 1963 (including the first true championship, won in the first 'indoor' NFL game in 1932, which was played in Chicago Stadium due to subzero conditions), and only one (in 1985) since then. Classy NFL good guy Walter Payton played here, as did Brian Piccolo (as in Brian's Song), William "Refrigerator" Perry, and Dick Butkus. The SNL "da Bears" sketches are based on stereotypical Chicago fans. Although the topic is a subject of frequent debate, the 1985 Bears are generally considered to be in the running with the '70s versions of the Steelers and Cowboys for "Best team of all time". Their Super Bowl win that year was an epic 46-10 dismantling of the New England Patriots, one of the most statistically lopsided Super Bowls ever. Non-football fans probably know the 1985 Bears less as a powerhouse and more for their ill-advised "Super Bowl Shuffle" music video.
  • Although most people know the Dallas Cowboys for their cheerleaders, they are possibly the most storied NFL franchise, as well as the most hated according to an ESPN poll (they edged the Patriots for the dubious honor). They were the Team of the '90s, winning three Super Bowls to go along with their two in the '70s. The team of Tom Landry and later Jimmy Johnson. Owned by Jerry Jones, one of the more divisive executives in the league. Rivals of the Pittsburgh Steelers, thanks to some classic matchups in the '70s. All three other teams in the NFC East hates the Cowboys; the Eagles would claim to be the Cowboys' biggest rival, but the distinction really goes to the Washington Redskins, which is a much more heated and historic rivalry. Became known as "America's Team" in the '70s and is sometimes derisively referred to as "South America's Team" due to the drug habits of some of its players during the '90s. Also known by some detractors as "Mexico's Team"...though this is actually true, since the Cowboys are phenomenally popular south of the border, being the only NFL team whose games are consistently available on Mexican television. Always, always, ALWAYS play on Thanksgiving Day. The team plays in the league's largest stadium, which is known for having the largest television display in the world above the field. In addition to various names mocking Jones, the new stadium's external appearance has also led to it being nicknamed the Death Star.
  • The Detroit Lions are the NFL's traditional Butt Monkey. They became the first team to go 0-16 in a season in 2008, and have made fewer playoff appearances than many teams half their age. They've been really bad for a really long time (their last championship was in 1957). It got so bad under the tenure of General Manager Matt Millen that fans organized protest marches and put up billboards demanding he be fired, some of them appearing at sporting events in other cities. Also the team of Barry Sanders, an incredible running back who quit the NFL rather than continue his career carrying such an abysmal squad on his shoulders. The Sanders-era Lions peaked in 1991, when they went 12-4, only to be defeated by the Redskins. The other team that always plays on Thanksgiving Day (somebody has to be the turkey...). They're currently rebuilding their team after drafting popular and dominant college players Matthew Stafford, Ndamukong Suh and Jahvid Best in recent Drafts; the investment seems to have paid off, with the Lions coming up with their first 5-0 start since 1956 in 2011 before being narrowly defeated by the 49ers; Detroit also clinched their first winning season and playoff appearance since 1999.
  • The Green Bay Packers were the team of the 60's, when under the reign of legendary head coach Vince Lombardi they won five of their record 13 NFL championships (including the first two Super Bowls) and earned the city of Green Bay the nickname of "Titletown, USA." With a population of just over 100,000, Green Bay is microscopic by American major league sports standards;[28] nonetheless, their success has helped them cultivate a notoriously large and rabid fan base that extends throughout the whole world, resulting in a presence of "cheeseheads" at every road game that sometimes even drowns out the home crowd. Their home stadium, Lambeau Field, is subject to some absolutely terrible weather late in the season, leading to it being termed "The Frozen Tundra".[29] Countless games have been played (and watched) in ridiculous conditions such as -15 degrees plus wind, including the notorious 1967 "Ice Bowl" which they won to get to Super Bowl II. It is also home to a tradition known as the "Lambeau Leap" where players are expected to leap into the stands after scoring a touchdown. The team is also known for its unique community ownership, banned under current league rules but grandfathered in for the Packers, which guarantees that they'll never move to a larger market.
  • The Minnesota Vikings are another entrant in the "ridiculous fans" department; some fans dress in elaborate Viking costumes for games. The Vikings were led by popular quarterback Fran Tarkenton in the '70s (except for his five-year interlude with the New York Giants), which only led to them becoming the first team to lose four Super Bowls. (Technically, the Vikings first Superbowl loss was with Joe Kapp as quarterback; this hasn't stopped Fran from being known as the guy who lost 4 Superbowls) Was the home of Brett Favre for his final two seasons, which caused some drama as he was essentially a cult hero in neighbor/rival Wisconsin (where the Packers play). Known for a rather ridiculous series of painful playoff collapses, including a loss in 1998 when their placekicker (who hadn't missed a single kick all season) shanked an easy game-winning FG against the Falcons, as well as in the 2010 NFC Championship game where despite dominating the eventual Super Bowl champion Saints in nearly every statistic, they gave up 8 turnovers and lost in incredibly painful fashion. Home to the "Purple People Eaters", a dominating defense in the 70's including the likes of Alan Page and John Randle.
  • The New Orleans Saints have historically been a consistently terrible team, fans of the Saints actually started the practice of wearing paper bags over one's head to protest a poorly performing team. Their inability to win games also earned them the derisive nickname "The Ain'ts". They are the team that killed Archie Manning's once-promising pro career, as he was their only good player (and arguably their only even decent player). For a while in the '90s they were known as "the only team that has never won a playoff game", a label they finally shed in 2000. Their home city has this nasty tendency to get obliterated by hurricanes, so they've played home games elsewhere. Recovered in the late '00s after hiring Sean Payton and signing Drew Brees, they're now quite good, and won in Super Bowl XLIV against the favored Indianapolis Colts - their first ever Super Bowl game. The key to their turnaround has been developing a deep roster of solid, close-knit players rather than relying on big stars. The strategy paid off in the 2010 season when, despite injuries plaguing the starting lineup, the Saints called on a seemingly endless supply of effective running backs and wide receivers well-suited to Brees's pass-heavy play style.
    • However this team may see a permanent image wounding, as Roger Goddell found out in 2012 that defensive players on that team (incuding the Super Bowl season) were encouraged by defensive coordinator Gregg Williams to take out QB's and wide receivers on the other teams as part of a "bounty pool", and the league literally Dropped A Bridge On Them for the next season, suspending coach Sean Payton for the full season without pay, his underlings for a few games less, loss of draft picks and a half million dollars, and Williams (who had moved onto the Rams) may not see himself in the league for a long time as part of an indefinite suspension (and they haven't even gotten around to player discipline yet). NFL Network has already made the 2010 Saints playoff run an Old Shame, refusing to run those games for the time being.
  • The New York Giants are the current Super Bowl champions, and historically the better of the two teams that play in New Jersey. Like the Jets, they used to actually play in New York, but they moved to New Jersey in 1976 so that they could have a dedicated football stadium instead of having to share with the New York Yankees. One of the oldest teams in the NFL, dating back to 1925. Have won 4 Super Bowls and 4 additional NFL championships from before the Super Bowl. Officially named the "New York Football Giants", even though there hasn't been a baseball New York Giants since 1957. Won a miracle Super Bowl in '07 against the then-undefeated New England Patriots, the most notable part of which being a play where quarterback Eli Manning evaded an almost certain sack and threw the ball to third-string receiver David Tyree, who caught it against his helmet in mid-air with safety Rodney Harrison hanging on him. They're known for being "road warriors" who perform better in hostile stadiums than in their own...which was certainly the case in '07, in which their six losses included only one on the road, and their playoff run to win the Super Bowl was entirely on the road.
  • The Philadelphia Eagles are known mostly for their rowdy, unpleasable fan base, which the Guardian has compared to British football hooligans.[30] Veterans Stadium, before its demolition to make way for "The Link" (Lincoln Financial Field), had a courthouse in the basement, because of a number of fans that were arrested during games, although things have calmed down considerably in the past few years. Eagles fans are arguably best known for an incident in which Santa Claus was heckled and pelted with snowballs at halftime.[31] One on occasion, some fans cheered a career-ending neck injury to an opposing player[32] who was a jerk off the field and the poster boy for everything fans of other teams hated about the Cowboys of the 1990s. That said, however, it should be noted that they have never killed or maimed fans of opposing teams (unlike other cities). They genuinely love their team and are extremely outspoken in their criticism. Their quarterback was Donovan McNabb for most of the 2000's, with whom the fans had a love-hate (well, mostly hate) relationship, which led the team to trade him in 2010 to the Redskins, which opened the door for his backup, Michael Vick to start his comeback the next season. Home games always sell out, no matter how bad they are, and to them the most important thing about their players is that they play with all their heart, guaranteeing the city's love (yes, it really does exist).
  • The Los Angeles Rams are one of the more traveled NFL teams, they started in Cleveland, moved to Los Angeles when the NFL needed a West Coast presence, moved out of Los Angeles when owner Georgia Frontiere saw the chance to make more money in St. Louis, and are back in Los Angeles for the 2016 season. Frontiere took over the team when her husband, Carroll Rosenbloom, died mysteriously in a drowning accident. I'm not saying, I'm just saying... Won the Super Bowl in 1999 after being terrible for most of the '90s, when Kurt Warner rose from obscurity to lead a high-flying offense known as the Greatest Show on Turf. Warner and RB Marshall Faulk monopolized the MVP from 1999-2001, and the 2001 team looked like an all-time great until the Patriots shut them down and upset them in the Super Bowl. Since then, the Rams have declined to near-insignificance once again. During nearly every low ebb of team performance when they were in St. Louis, someone in LA would make the argument that they ought to have them back. Now that those someones have their wish...
  • The San Francisco 49ers are another historically terrible team who became the Team of the '80s for winning five Super Bowls between 1981-1994. Outside of that period, there is nothing to know about them. Inside of that period, they were led by Hall of Fame quarterbacks Joe Montana and Steve Young, wide receiver Jerry Rice, and coach Bill Walsh, founder of the "West Coast Offense". With all of the above long gone from the team, they went back to being terrible through most of the past decade, though they've done much better the past couple of years, becoming the first team in 2011 to clinch their division on, of all things, a power running game lead by running back Frank Gore and a rejuvenated quarterback Alex Smith.
  • The Seattle Seahawks have not had many good seasons. In fact, they are known for their stretch of over twenty years without a single playoff win, ending in 2005 with a Super Bowl appearance. They are best known for being a place for future Hall-of-Famers to play the year before they retire. Were transferred from the AFC to the NFC in 2002 as part of realignment. Lost Super Bowl XL in one of the most controversial games in recent memory. In the 2010 season, they became the first team in 28 years to make the playoffs with a losing record (7-9), causing a lot of complaining amongst fans. They then largely silenced everyone with a surprise first-round upset of the defending champion New Orleans Saints.
  • The Tampa Bay Buccaneers were the previous NFL Butt Monkey before the Lions. Their first season in 1976 was perfect. Perfectly awful, as they lost all 14 games they played. The next year, they improved. They only lost their first 12 games, then won their last two (also notable that after their first win the opposing team's head coach and starting quarterback got fired). For many years, it didn't get much better, until Tony Dungy was delivered unto the Tampa Bay Area they changed their uniforms from garish "creamsicle" orange-and-white to the current pewter-red-black scheme, and changed their logo from a winking pirate to a skull flag. That's around when they won the Super Bowl, led by coach Jon "Chuckie" Gruden. Team owner Malcolm Glazer is mildly disliked in Tampa. Don't ask English soccer fans about him, especially around Manchester.
    • How bad was that 1976 winless season? One reporter asked then head coach John McKay, "What do you think of the offense's execution?" He replied, "I'm in favor of it."
  • The Washington Redskins is the team with the deepest pockets, though this hasn't translated to success on the field since 1992 because current team owner Daniel Snyder seems to love buying overpriced free agents who flame out quickly, and cause fan hate with such actions as charging fans to watch training camp and make HD broadcasts of preseason games cable-only. Also possibly the most politically incorrect team name in all of sports. (Although the implications of their name is lessened by the fact that a poll of native Americans came up with 91% of those asked having no problem with it. There was, however, a time when "redskin" was considered just as bad a racial slur as the N-word.) Because of this and the fact that they play in Maryland, not Washington DC proper, sportswriter Gregg Easterbrook assigned them the joke name "Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons". They are the bitter rivals of the Dallas Cowboys, dating at least back to early 1970s. Redskins games are jokingly used as bellwethers for presidential elections. If they win, it meant the incumbent party candidate would win. They have won 3 Super Bowls, head coach Joe Gibbs was known as the first coach to win three Super Bowls with 3 different starting quarterbacks.

Scheduling and Games[]

Each team plays a 4-game preseason, a 16-game regular season, and a postseason that involves 12 teams.

The 16 games (8 of which are at the home stadium and 8 of which are away games) during the regular season are determined as follows:

  • 6 games against the team's three divisional rivals (2 each; 1 home, 1 away)
  • 4 games against every team in another division in your conference (2 home, 2 away)
  • 4 games against every team in a division in another conference (2 home, 2 away)
  • 2 games against two other conference teams that finished in the same position in their division (1 home, 1 away)

Basically, let's say we have the Dallas Cowboys. Dallas was first in their division last year. This year the NFC East is playing the NFC South and AFC North. That means that 6 of Dallas' games will be against their divisional rivals, 4 games will be against all 4 NFC South teams, 4 games will be against all 4 AFC North teams, and the other two will be against the teams that came in first place of the NFC North and NFC West. That's how a 16-game schedule is generated.

Postseason qualification involves 12 teams which qualify for the playoffs. Each division will send the team with the best record - this is the division champion. However, there are also 4 wild-card spots (2 AFC, 2 NFC) that are up for grabs. These go to the teams with the best records remaining in the leagues. There's a lot of math that goes into it - tiebreakers and all that - but that's the basics of how it works.

Each team also gets some seeding based on how they performed during the regular season. Each conference has six seeds. Seeds 1 through 4 are the divisional champions, seeds 5 and 6 are the wild-cards. The top two seeds in each conference get a first-round bye week during the playoffs. The 3 and 6 seeds will always square off against each other, and the 4 and 5 seeds will do the same. The lower-ranking of the teams that wins those contests will face against the 1 seed, and the higher-ranking will play the 2 seed. Playoff games are single-elimination.

In recent months there's been talk of extending the regular season to 18 games and reducing the preseason to two. It's tied to the labor contract talks the league has had with the NFLPA. Preseason games are sparsely attended and generally ignored by fans, but they're important for giving newly-signed players some time on the field, and for determining who should be the starters and who needs more time to develop.

The Draft[]

The NFL Draft occurs in April, as stated before. However, following the Draft is a pastime in and of itself.

The draft scouting traditionally begins during Bowl Week in college football. There have been plenty of great performances that elevate players into first-round consideration, and vice versa - plenty of future first-rounders have given shoddy performances and seen their draft stock plummet. This is important to the players because draft order heavily influences determines starting salary; in the 2010 Draft, both the second and tenth overall picks were defensive tackles; the earlier pick stands to earn $30,000,000 more in his first five years.

The next portion of the draft comes during the NFL Combine, which is always held in Indianapolis, where a select few players get to come to Lucas Oil Stadium to work out for coaches and scouts. There are a few traditional drills (the 40 yard dash, the cone drill, and others) that everyone participates in - and people are looking for specific things. Plenty of players decline to attend the combine for various reasons - but declining usually hurts their draft stock (though usually not as badly as a poor Combine performance would). Also, there will almost always be a no-name player who turns in a stunning performance at the Combine and shoots from "nobody" to "first-round pick" (Oakland has become sort of a joke for drafting these players). These players are called "workout warriors".

Next would be a college's Pro Day, when professional scouts come to the player's college where he is able to play in his own facility.

Finally, the Draft occurs. The first pick of each round goes to the team that had the worst record in the league in the previous year, and each selection goes up until the team that won the Super Bowl makes their pick. Draft picks can be traded just like players - and they often are (the Ricky Williams trade is an especially notable one). It's almost always speculated every year that the team holding the first overall draft pick will try to trade down to avoid giving a giant contract to a guy who hasn't even played in an NFL game, but that rarely happens.

There are traditionally seven rounds of the draft, though there have been supplemental rounds in the past. The last overall draft pick is called "Mr. Irrelevant" and receives the distinctive Lowsman Trophy (which looks like the Heisman, except the player is fumbling the ball).

A player who is highly-drafted but for whatever reason (injury, underperformance, off-field issues) fails to have a distinguished career, is known as a "draft bust". These can haunt a team and its fanbase for years, especially when a team is consistently bad enough to have several shots at "the best" players, but nothing to show on-field for it. Since bust players are usually let go to save face and team reputation if no one else will take them in a trade the drafting team will possibly still have to pay out money on the player's contract long after he's gone. Ryan Leaf, drafted #2 overall in 1998, and out of the league by 2001; is known as the biggest bust in NFL history, and arguably in professional sports overall. Conversely, a player whose retrospective performance is greater than one would expect given their draft position is known as a "draft steal" (Best example: Tom Brady, picked 199th in 2000, in the sixth round). While the biggest examples of draft steals are low-round picks that turn out to be top-tier players, players drafted in the second, third, or even low in the first rounds can be considered steals depending on their talent and the interest on draft day.

The Pro Bowl[]

Most leagues have All-Star games, and the NFL is no exception. However, this league is notable because of how irrelevant their All-Star game is. The NBA and NHL have All-Star Games that are big to-dos, with the league's best and brightest coming out to play with giant concerts, festivities, and fun times for all. The MLB All-Star game determines which league, American or National, has the home-field advantage in the World Series. The Pro Bowl... is roughly analogous to a flag-football game.

Late in the season, players are named to Pro Bowl teams. It's (supposed to be) considered a huge honor to get sent, but many players will pull out for whatever reason, usually because pro football is quite risky enough when there are stakes involved, but it wouldn't be worth it to be injured in an exhibition game that doesn't count except for conference bragging rights only stat geeks care about. Fan ballots account for a full third of the votes, with coaches and players making up the remaining two thirds.

All-Star games are generally relaxed affairs, with players taking a more casual approach because of the risk of injuries. Since American football is such an injury-heavy sport, the NFL codifies this by playing the Pro Bowl under a slightly different rule set than the regular game. Offensive changes basically remove any elements of surprise such as offensive motion, while all defenses must be run in the 4-3 formation, and absolutely no blitzing is allowed. Punts, field goals and PAT's are kicked unopposed as the defense isn't allowed to rush the play.

The Pro Bowl got even more irrelevant in 2010, when the game was played the week before the Super Bowl (as opposed to the week after), and moved from Aloha Stadium in Honolulu to the Super Bowl host city (in 2010, this was Miami). This meant three things: first, that the Super Bowl teams universally barred their players from participating; second, that any number of players who didn't want to go to South Florida were pulling out, and third, the draw of a free trip to Hawaii was gone (many players live in Florida anyway, so a visit to suburban Miami isn't that exciting to them; the game was likewise a treat for Hawaiian fans, as Hawaii has no top-tier professional teams). All told, around 40 players ended up dropping out, allowing such luminaries as David Garrard (he of the 7-9 Jacksonville Jaguars) - the sixth alternate at quarterback - and Vince Young (of the 8-8 Tennessee Titans) to play in the game. Huge honor, indeed. To add insult to injury, the league more or less had to force the Super Bowl teams to sit and watch the entire game. The game has since been moved back to Hawaii, but is still scheduled before the Super Bowl, so many of these problems are expected to persist. After NFC starting quarterback Aaron Rodgers publicly criticized the lack of effort from his teammates, commissioner Roger Goodell has mentioned the possibility of changing the Pro Bowl format, or dropping the game altogether.

Awards[]

Ah, awards; one of the many reason anyone follows sports leagues in general. Well, the National Football Leauge has got 'em if you want 'em. There are actually several bodies that give awards, but the ones from the Associated Press are the most widely recognized. They are as follows:

  • Most Valuable Player (duh): The award given to - wait for it - the player who makes the biggest impact in the entire season. Peyton Manning has four of them, one shared with Steve McNair. Almost always goes to offensive players, specifically those of the quarterback and running back positions.
  • Offensive Player Of The Year: Given to the best offensive player of the year. A lot of people view it as the official runner-up to MVP, given that it will usually (but not always) go to the player who finished second in voting (sometimes it will just go to the MVP anyway). Again, quarterbacks and running backs are almost universally favored here, but after an epic season, wide receivers [33] have occasionally been known to sneak away with this award. Offensive linemen? Who're they? [34] Marshall Faulk and Earl Campbell each have three.
  • Defensive Player Of The Year: Given to the best defensive player in the league in a given year. Linebackers, cornerbacks, and defensive linemen can be counted on to usually win the award. Safeties get the short end of the stick - only five have won the award since its inception, but three of those have been within the last decade, so maybe opinions are changing. Lawrence Taylor has three to his credit.
  • Defensive Rookie Of The Year: Best defensive rookie. Usually goes to linebackers or defensive linemen.
  • Offensive Rookie Of The Year: Shockingly enough, this one doesn't go to a lot of quarterbacks (to explain, a lot of teams that draft a quarterback early are wanting for other skilled players at other key positions, knowing that they'll accept a couple of years of losing so that they can build the team they want around that guy). There was a 34-year period between quarterbacks winning this award (Dennis Shaw in 1970 and Ben Roethlisberger in 2004); so, running backs and wide receivers tend to dominate it; and offensive linemen are still left out in the cold.
  • Coach of the Year: Given to the league's best coach. Shockingly, this one isn't automatically given out to the coach who has the league's best record, but instead, it's usually given to a coach who has experienced an epic turnaround. Don Shula has four of them.
  • Comeback Player of the Year: The redheaded stepchild of the awards, the AP initially ditched it after a few seasons (1963-1966) and brought it back in 1998. "Comeback" has a lot of definitions with regards to sports - so, a comeback player could be a player who came back from a massive injury (Tom Brady, 2009), or came back from a couple of down years (Michael Vick, 2010[35]), or maybe even finally had a good year when he had never had one before (Tommy Maddox, 2002[36]). This one might create the most arguing among fans.

Other American Pro Leagues[]

The NFL has been the dominant Football league in America for almost its entire existence. There have however, been various attempts to compete with the league. A few of the more notable include:

  • American Football League (1960-1969): Actually the fourth league to use this name, although they were the most successful. Probably the most visible competition to the NFL, and the two leagues merged in 1970, creating the current AFC and NFC divisions. All of the AFL's teams are now NFL franchises (Though the Houston Oilers are now the Tennessee Titans; also the Seattle Seahawks, which were placed the AFC in 1977, were switched to the NFC when the Houston Texans were created as an expansion team). The NFL occasionally celebrates the history of the AFL, with the most notable being the 50th anniversary celebrations in 2010. A list of notable players who started out in the AFL (even just a list of Hall of Famers) would be too large for this page. However, there is only one player in the Hall of Fame who played only in the AFL and never in the NFL: offensive guard Billy Shaw.
  • World Football League (1973-1975): A complete and total flop (and not even a "world" football league, the only team not on the American mainland was a team in Hawaii). Managed to last for two seasons despite laughable amounts of ineptness (one team had its equipment confiscated following the league's championship game) from almost everyone involved. Only two WFL alumni - Larry Csonka and Paul Warfield, both former NFL stars at the end of their careers - made it into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.
    • This is not the same as the World League of American Football, a league that began in the early 1990's and later evolved into NFL Europa; they are discussed later, under "American Football in Other Countries".
  • United States Football League (1982-1987): The first serious competition with the NFL since the AFL's halcyon days. The league ran in the spring and signed several star college players (the first being Herschel Walker) before the NFL could snatch them up. The league had problems with solvency early on, and the more cash-strapped teams moved frequently making it hard to cultivate fanbases or secure long-term TV deals. Stories abounded of teams playing in near-empty stadiums and players having their paychecks bounce. Even so, it was rather popular in some markets and looked to be on the way towards success until Donald Trump (yeah, that Donald Trump) bought a team and slowly started to take over the league. He had the league sue the NFL for an anti-trust violation and planned on moving the USFL to the fall (possibly because he may have planned to have the more successful USFL teams folded into the NFL and acquire his own NFL franchise). The USFL won its anti-trust violation and was awarded...$3. The league folded shortly after that. Four USFL players (Steve Young, Jim Kelly, Reggie White and Gary Zimmerman) are in the Hall of Fame. All of them signed with NFL teams. The USFL was also where players like Doug Flutie and the aforementioned Herschel Walker played their first pro seasons.
    • That $3 check was never cashed (as of 2006), and is considered one of the biggest collectors' items out there. Incidentally, the original amount of the award in that case was only $1, but under anti-trust law at that time, any damages awarded by a civil jury were to be automatically tripled, hence the odd value.
  • Arena Football League (1987-2008, 2010–present): Just based on longevity and popularity, the Arena Football League is probably the best known alternative league since the 60's American Football League, even though the Arena League isn't technically a competitor to the NFL. The league plays "Arena football" which is different in several ways to regular football, stuff we'll let The Other Wiki explain better. Did decently in the ratings and in popularity until the league surprisingly crashed and burned in 2008, and was re-activated in 2010. Like the AFL, a list of notable NFL players who also played/currently play in the Arena league would be way too long for this page.
  • X Football League (2000-2001): Founded by Vince McMahon, it combined the absolute failure of the WFL with the poor business decisions of the USFL. The XFL was a ratings failure (NBC's lowest ratings in network history were scored mainly on XFL games) and lasted just one season. Was the home for a handful of very good players - mostly NFL second-stringers who were never really given a chance, like QB Tommy Maddox, the league's lone MVP. Probably best known at the time for Rod Smart, a RB for the Las Vegas Outlaws whose jersey read "HE HATE ME" on the back instead of his own name. Most of the XFL's Hatedom was a result of McMahon's brash antics (i.e, strippers as cheerleaders) as well as the fact that it just wasn't good football (it was designed to fit the old stereotype of defense and run-heavy "smash-mouth" football; forgetting that the NFL and NCAA built their audiences on the wide-open offensive game of the present).
  • United Football League (2007–present): The most recent entry into the NFL competitor sweepstakes, it's remained largely low key and currently features only four teams in small markets. Has recently gained media attention for extending invitation to NFL players to play for them if the 2011 NFL lockout lasted until the regular season. This didn't happen. Current teams are in Virginia Beach, Virginia; Omaha, Nebraska; Las Vegas, Nevada and Sacramento, California. Not exactly football hotbeds, but each team has a small yet devoted fanbase.
  • Lingerie Football League (2010–present): At this point, the only "major" female football league with any media attention, though most of it is negative attention because the players basically play in athletically-minded Chainmail Bikinis with padding and helmets, with games carried in edited form on MTV2. Some of the female players are just glad to play at all (using the example of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League seen in A League of Their Own) and try to ignore that the league basically exists as Fetish Fuel for guys too cheap to even get Cinemax. Uses a 7-on-7 indoor format with no punts and field goals. Started to exploit the publicity that came with the Lingerie Bowl, a pay-per-view event that counterprograms the Super Bowl yearly.
  • Though the NFL no longer has a developmental league (similar to reserve or practice squads in other sports), NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has shown interest in establishing such a league. As it currently stands, college football programs provide most new NFL prospects, with owners and coaches also keeping an eye out for standout players in the Arena League, UFL, and Canadian Football League (more on them later).

Fantasy Football[]

Though the concept of fantasy sports began with Baseball, it truly exploded once it was expanded to Football. Players meet once before the season, either online or in-person, and select real NFL players in their fantasy draft. One the regular season rolls around, the players choose a "team" based on the players they have selected, and receive points based on how well the real-life players do. This is Serious Business for many fans and there are literally thousands of websites, magazines, books, articles, and even full-length television shows dedicated to discussion of Fantasy Football. Some players have gambled huge sums of money on this. This became exceptionally notable when Brian Westbrook of the Philadelphia Eagles chose to stop on the 1 yard line rather than score a touchdown late in a game. By stopping, he allowed his team to run out the clock and win the game without risk, but many, many fantasy football teams lost as a result. Bill Simmons of ESPN.com wrote that one of his readers lost one hundred thousand dollars because of that play.

  • By extension, it can result in some fantasy players wanting real teams to run up the score (ordinarily considered unsportsmanlike) in order to improve their fantasy team's stats.

American Football in other countries[]

Because the word 'football' refers unambiguously to association football (soccer) outside the United States and Canada,[37] the sport is referred to as "American football" (or a translation thereof) to differentiate it from other football codes such as association football and rugby football. In Australia and New Zealand the game is known as gridiron football, although in the United States the term "gridiron" refers only to the playing field itself.

The NFL has attempted to introduce the game to other nations and operated a developmental league known as NFL Europa (previously NFL Europe or the World League of American Football), which over the years had teams in Germany, the Netherlands, Spain, and Great Britain,[38] but the league gradually shrank and condensed into a six-team league, five of which were in Germany. The league folded following the 2007 season.

The professional Canadian Football League (CFL) and collegiate Canadian Interuniversity Sport play under the only slightly different Canadian rules. Though the CFL is considerably older than the NFL, and its rules remain closer to those originally developed for gridiron football, there has been a substantial Adaptation Displacement making U.S.-style football far better known worldwide. Among the main differences are 12 men per side versus 11, 3 downs per series versus 4, a 110-yard long field with 20-yard end zones (Originally 25 yards but shortened as a side effect of the American expansion experiment) versus 100/10, unlimited backfield players in motion, and the fact that any kick that goes into the end zone and isn't returned (including missed field goals) counts for one point (a "rouge"). These rules open up the passing game considerably and result in several otherwise unmemorable NFL players being able to do very well in the CFL, as well as the inverse. The leader for combined passing yards in all North American professional football leagues, Damon Allen, played exclusively in the CFL and quarterbacks like Doug Flutie and Jeff Garcia have done extremely well in the CFL despite average careers in the US.[39] CFL supporters in Canada tend to point to this as evidence of a more exciting game while NFL supporters point out that there is a significant difference in skill between the two leagues. At any rate, the NFL and CFL have always had a good relationship, and were more or less on equal footing until the 1980's, when broadcasting rights to NFL games became ridiculously lucrative.

The current roster of CFL teams consists of:

Western Division

  • BC Lions: AKA the Leos. Created in 1954 and has never folded. It has long had to compete with hockey for fans' attention and lost miserably on this front, but recent events have given it a large insurgence of viewers. No inherent major rival, although Saskatchewan ends up being the default one, since the other two Western teams have each other to hate.
  • Edmonton Eskimos: AKA the Esks. Though Toronto has the most Grey Cup wins of the overall history of the league, Edmonton has the most Grey Cup wins of the league in its current incarnation, and is thus a very popular team. Continuing the "Battle of Alberta" tradition made famous by the NHL, its main rival is Calgary.
  • Calgary Stampeders: AKA the Stamps. Founded in 1935, this team was originally called the Calgary Broncs. Its main rival is Edmonton due to the aforementioned provincial rivalry. Saskatchewan has also been listed as a rival in recent years, but its animosity is not for Calgary itself but for its star player, Henry Burris.
  • Saskatchewan Roughriders: AKA the Riders. Founded in 1910. Not usually a successful team, though there have been seasonal exceptions, the Riders are nevertheless known for their absolutely insane fans, to the point of being called the Canadian counterpart of the Packers. Their major rival is Winnipeg, crossing division lines, especially after an incident in which a Winnipeg official recalled a provincial stereotype in an interview and referred to the Saskatchewan population as "banjo-picking hillbillies". However, much like Toronto, they also hate nearly every other team in the league for some grudge or another. For many years, the Riders were one of two similarly-named teams in the CFL. From the 1950s (when Canada's Eastern and Western leagues merged into the modern CFL) through 1996, the 'Riders co-existed with the Ottawa Rough Riders.

Eastern Division

  • Winnipeg Blue Bombers: AKA the Bombers. Founded in 1930. Though Winnipeg played Hamilton for the Grey Cup on numerous occasions before the division lines were enforced for the playoffs, its main rival is actually Saskatchewan, despite being in another division. The Bombers are the team the CFL traditionally uses to balance divisions—if there are four other Eastern teams, Winnipeg goes back to its traditional roots in the Western Division. When the East is down to three teams (during one of Montreal or Ottawa's hiatuses), Winnipeg moves to the East.
  • Hamilton Tiger-Cats: AKA the Ti-Cats. Created in 1950 from a merger of two teams. Throughout the twentieth century, either Hamilton or one of the two teams it had been before the merger won the Grey Cup at least once per decade. Its rival is Toronto, being from the same province.
  • Toronto Argonauts: AKA the Argos. One of the oldest North American sports teams still existing and the oldest North American football team, this team was founded in 1873. Has the largest amount of Grey Cup wins in the league in part because it is the oldest and has also never folded. Has near-equal animosity towards the entire Eastern Division, but its main rival is Hamilton.
  • Montreal Alouettes: AKA the Als. Created in 1946, this team has been in Montreal for most of its history. It folded in 1986, and was later recreated from the ex-Baltimore Stallions in 1996; league-wide team histories recognize Baltimore in Montreal's history but the Montreal team itself does not. One of the strongest teams in the league today, it won the 2009 Grey Cup when Saskatchewan received a penalty at the last second. They consider both Toronto and Edmonton their rivals.
  • The city of Ottawa, Ontario has had a team on multiple separate occasions, but currently does not. Its most recent incarnation, the Ottawa Renegades, only lasted for a few years before going bankrupt and folding. Currently, there are plans to re-establish an Ottawa team in 2013, if stadium issues can be worked out.
  • In recent years, the CFL has explored the idea of adding a team somewhere east of Montreal. One-off games have been played in Quebec City, Halifax, and Moncton, and all were well attended.
  • For a trial period in the early-to-mid 1990s, the CFL also included a few American teams; these are no longer a part of the league. The most successful of these teams was the Baltimore franchise, who played two seasons (1994–95), reaching the Grey Cup game both times, and winning in 1995. The team was sued by the NFL to keep them from going by the name "Baltimore CFL Colts", although this didn't stop Baltimore fans from using the Colts name (the PA announcer would give a pause after "Your Baltimore CFL" to allow the crowd to shout "Colts!" before finishing with "... football team"). By the start of the 1995 season, the team had settled on "Baltimore Stallions". While the American experiment ended in 1995, the Stallions were a strong enough franchise that they might have stayed, had Art Modell not been about to bring the Ravens to town.

In the UK, where it's often derided as "Rugby for pansies", 46 teams play in the British American Football League. The BAFL is comprised of three levels: The Premier, of which there are 7 teams; BAFL 1, of which there are 12 teams; and BAFL 2, of which there are 27 teams. While the lower level teams have their own championship games during Brit Bowl Weekend, only Premier league teams face each other in the BritBowl which is it traditionally held in Sheffield's Don Valley Stadium. Unlike the NFL, the BAFL season is played through the summer (April to September), with the British university season spanning the autumn and winter. In the 1980s, the Sky network featured live broadcasts of American football games. Unfortunately, those broadcasts were early in the morning. Despite this, it managed to get small but devoted audience.

Recently, there's renewed interest in the game with Sky Sports showing the early doubleheader and NFL Network games, the local ESPN airs Monday Night Football, while the terrestrial Five network gets Sunday Night Football, all live (though in the latter cases the night games air in the early mornings after midnight London time due to time zones). The NFL currently plays one yearly regular season game at the new Wembley Stadium in London in order to stoke further interest in the American game, thus once a year one team's "home game" takes place at least 2,000 miles away across The Pond at a neutral venue.The NFL, while doing well in the US, sees its future in expanding the league in other countries, and regular season NFL games abroad are a part of this plan.

In Mexico, the ONEFA is a college league with 26 teams in 3 conferences. It is the most important championship in Latin America. Mexicans have been playing college American football since the 1920s. When broadcasts of American football started in 1960s, games featuring the Dallas Cowboys were shown. Its popularity grew during the 1970s with returning migrants who were American football fans popularizing the sport. While its popularity can't compare with Soccer, it's by far the most popular minor league sport there. It's also the most popular sport to bet on there, with the odds of winning at 50/50 as opposed to 1/3 of winning with soccer.

In Japan, the X-League is a professional league with 60 teams in four divisions, using promotion and relegation. After the post-season playoffs, the X-League champion is determined in the Japan X Bowl. There are also over 200 universities fielding teams, with the national collegiate championship determined by the Koshien Bowl. The professional and collegiate champions then face each other in the Rice Bowl to determine the national champion.

In Germany the sport got a foothold because of the American troops stationed at bases there. The German Football League organizes roughly 200 teams, the elite division is called Bundesliga and comprises 14 (16 from 2012) teams partitioned into north and south conferences. The finalists from the playoffs determine the German champion during the German Bowl. All but one of the NFL Europa teams[40] were based in Germany by the time it folded. Curiously, although American soldiers are stationed mostly in the southern parts, the north dominates strongly, having won all German Bowls since 1993 - with only two southern teams even reaching the finals in that period - 26 out of 32 total and in some years winning all interdivisional and playoff games against southern teams. German teams (especially the Brunswick Lions and the Hamburg Blue Devils) dominated European football in the mid to late 90s but had an Austrian caused drought until the most recent win in 2010. The most succesful teams are Brunswick Lions, Düsseldorf Panther, Berlin Adler and Hamburg Blue Devils.

Finland has traditionally had the strongest European national side (holding a record 5 European titles out of 12, with two each for Italy, the UK and Germany (the current holders) and one for Sweden) and Finnish teams winning the first two Eurobowls (a playoff competition between the winners of the European leagues) but has faded since.

In Austria, the top tier AFL consists of seven teams (one of them from the Czech Republic). Austrian teams dominated European club competitions, winning all Eurobowls from 2004 through 2009, and is now competing with the German league for the moniker "strongest league in Europe".

In Hungary, 18 registered teams participate in a the MAFL's two division league structure. The sport has grown significantly since 2004 and with some top Division I teams participating in the CEFL.

In Norway, div I consists of only two teams, Oslo Vikings and Eidsvoll 1814's. These two teams also compete in the European Football League but they play an annual game for the Norwegian Championship title. Norway has seven other teams that play in div II and this division is looked upon as the Norwegian Football League.

The International Federation of American Football is the governing body for American football with 45 member associations from North and South America, Europe, Asia and Oceania. The IFAF also oversees the American Football World Cup, which is held every four years. Japan won the first two World Cups, held in 1999 and 2003. Team USA, which had not participated in the first two tournaments, won the next two in 2007 and 2011.

Major American leagues have also held some regular season games outside of the United States. On October 2, 2005, the Arizona Cardinals and San Francisco 49ers played the first regular season NFL game outside of the United States, in Mexico City's Estadio Azteca, From 2007, the NFL has played or has plans to play at least one regular season game outside of the United States, with London being the typical location. The NCAA will also play games outside of the U.S. In 2012, The United States Naval Academy will play the University of Notre Dame in Dublin, Ireland.

American Football in fiction[]

Advertising[]

  • The Super Bowl Special is its own trope in advertising.
  • A home improvement store ran an ad featuring an expecting couple selecting paint carefully, with the mother-to-be softly smiling and holding a hand over her belly. Where does the paint go? On their faces as the mother yells something less than complimentary at a quarterback.


Anime and Manga[]


Film[]

Because the NFL and NCAA are very protective of their images, very few movies feature real teams, preferring to use fictional leagues or Brand X versions of real teams.

  • North Dallas Forty: a 1979 movie about the life of a professional sports team. Used a No Celebrities Were Harmed version of the Cowboys.
  • Any Given Sunday: a movie by Oliver Stone from 1999 about the ways business and sport clash in a professional league. Used a fictional rival league to the NFL, called the AFFA.
  • The Replacements: a generally panned 2000 movie based on the 1987 NFL players' strike. Used a Brand X of the Washington Redskins, though it did use NFL insignia.
  • Rudy: 1993 movie about a player who earns a place on the Notre Dame football team through hard work.
  • Knute Rockne All American: the movie that made Ronald Reagan famous and gave him his nickname, the Gipper.
  • The Program: 1993 movie that dramatized college football similarly to Any Given Sunday, though The Program was much more well received. Also famous for having a scene in which several characters walk into traffic and lay down in the middle of a busy street to prove their bravery. This scene was cut from all post-theatrical versions of the film because some kids tried to imitate it with predictable results.
  • Among its various incarnations, Friday Night Lights
  • Necessary Roughness: a movie that took the devastation of the Baylor and SMU teams after eligibility scandals and made it into a slapstick comedy.
  • The Longest Yard avoids the license trap by setting their team in a prison, featuring convicts.
  • Averted in The Fortune Cookie, which featured the Cleveland Browns.
  • We Are Marshall is a 2006 film which tells the true story of the 1970-1971 Marshall University football team's attempts to rebuild following a plane crash which kills most of the 1970 team.
  • Ashes To Glory is a 2000 documentary about the 1970-1971 Marshall University football team. The makers of Ashes To Glory sued the makers of We Are Marshall for plagiarism, but the case was dismissed as being without merit.
  • Ace Ventura had Dan Marino playing himself. And also a Dolphin mascot, we presume the Dolphin also played itself.
  • Remember the Titans, a 2000 film about a coach trying to create a racially-integrated high school football team in the 1970s.
  • Black Sunday, where a group of terrorists hijack the Goodyear blimp in order to attack the Super Bowl with a flechette bomb. Has Miami Dolphins owner Joe Robbie playing himself in a ten-minute segment.


Literature[]

  • Friday Night Lights
  • The Draft, a novel written by football analyst Will Mara, features a fictional General Manager of an Alternate History Baltimore Ravens team which had just won two Super Bowls and have all the piecess to win a third. But during the offseason, a little old lady on her meds crashes into the car of the team's star QB, potentially ending his career and leaving a gaping wound on the team roster. Fortunately, the upcoming draft has a promising QB candidate who's bound to go as the 1st overall pick. The San Diego Chargers, who own that pick, announce that they are willing to trade that choice away for the right price, leading to a league-wide Gambit Pileup for the rights to the next young superstar.
  • Playing For Pizza by John Grisham, details the not oft seen world of European Italian "American Football". The teams are mostly fielded from various odd workers, craftsmen and athletes of other sports past their prime, bank-rolled by the nearest top businessman/politician in the area (and just barely; the title comes from the players' "pay"), and their local supporters would be shamed by most high school booster clubs. The rivalries and dedication to the game, however, are "REAL football". There's also some nice bits about Italian history, art, food and opera. Bene.


Live Action TV[]

  • Friday Night Lights
  • Playmakers, an unsuccessful attempt at bringing the idea behind Any Given Sunday to the small screen.
  • Columbo has solved the murders of team owners in two separate cases. Both episodes involve Brand X teams.
  • Coach, a sitcom starring Craig T. Nelson as a coach of a fictional college (later NFL) football team.
  • The 1971 made for television movie Brian's Song is the source of many Manly Tears.
  • Al Bundy from Married... with Children has several plotlines through the course of the series where he relives what he considers the only happy time of his life as a star wide receiver on his high school football team before reality and adulthood set in.


Music[]

  • Virtually any music produced or otherwise used by the NFL is Crowning Music of Awesome.
  • The song "Round Up" by Sam Spence is sometimes used in NFL Films that air on the NFL Network.
  • The overwhelming majority of collegiate fight songs will include a reference to the sport. Keep in mind that these fight songs apply to their respective schools' entire athletic programs...
  • Ray Stevens's 'Armchair Quarterback' discusses not as much the game as some of its fans.


Standup Comedy[]

  • George Carlin has a whole routine comparing football to baseball. See the page quote up top for a taste.
  • Bill Cosby describes playing football in the streets of Philadephia as a kid:
Cquote1

 Quarterback: Arnie, go down ten steps and cut left behind the black Chevy. Filbert, you run down to my house and wait in the living room. Cosby, you go down to 3rd Street, catch the J bus, have them open the doors at 19th Street-- I'll fake it to you.

Bill: (narrating) There was always one fat kid you never thought of--

Fat kid: What about me?

Quarterback: (not missing a beat) You go long.

Bill: (narrating) We got a lot of good plays going that way.

Quarterback: I'll throw it over the water tower-- you'll catch it as it bounces out.

Cquote2


Tabletop Games[]

  • Blood Bowl is an adaptation of Warhammer Fantasy into a tabletop football game
  • Electric Football, possibly the earliest marketed tabletop game
  • Gridiron: a collectible card game.


Theater[]

  • Lombardi, an NFL-sponsored theater-in-the-round play about Vince Lombardi and his relationship with football. This is only a slight exaggeration, as Mrs. Lombardi (who narrowly prevented an unthinkable alternate universe by encouraging her husband to accept a request to be head coach of an NFL team in tiny Green Bay, Wisconsin instead of settling for a job as a bank manager) states that the three most important things to her husband was "God, family, and football, but not necessarily in that order".


Video Games[]

  • Madden NFL is one of the most successful video game franchises in history.
  • NCAA Football is close behind.
  • Tecmo Bowl was the first truly successful football video game. Because of a licensing snafu, it featured real players on Brand X teams. Tecmo Bo Jackson is considered the greatest athlete in video game history. Tecmo later obtained an NFL license and created the also successful Tecmo Super Bowl, which still retains a cult following for its easy and fun (if somewhat unrealistic) gameplay.
  • NFL Blitz: a series of ultraviolent football games by Midway that cycle in and out of favor. Since Madden now holds exclusive rights to the NFL and NFL Players' Association, Blitz must now use fake teams and players in their game; however, this lets them get away with content that would be slanderous if used with real athletes, such as giving players the option of feeding their team illegal drugs or sending prostitutes to the other team's hotel.
  • Roy Bromwell of the Rival Schools games, being one of the token Americans in the series, is noted in his bio as the star quarterback of Pacific High's football team. In-game, however, this is an Informed Ability; the only evidence of his football background is one of special moves being named Touchdown Wave.
    • Johnny Maximum, from the World Heroes franchise, had more of a football theming; he was dressed in full football gear, and initially had football-shaped projectiles that were either passed or kicked to enemies.
  • For some reason, a generic enemy in Super Mario World wears football padding—Chargin' Chuck. Naturally, if he's in a mood he'll throw baseballs at you.
  • Backyard Football
  • Mutant League Football
  • Backbreaker
  • Black College Football: The Xperience, an experimental title that focused exclusively on historically black universities. Mostly known for its focus on non-football stuff, such as a halftime drum competition minigame, and an interactive player museum.


Western Animation[]

  • Shows up in It's Your First Kiss, Charlie Brown as a homecoming game for the kids. Their school's athletic budget is pretty minimal: no actual uniforms for Peppermint Patty's team; Snoopy ends up playing the roles of referee, cheerleader, and news helicopter; Woodstock is a linesman and cameraman. Based, of course, on Peanuts strips featuring football, the playing of football, and the pulling away of footballs.
  • An episode of King of the Hill featured Bill going back to his high school to graduate and play one more year and trying to regain a rushing record he had recently lost in the process.
  • The NFL made their own animated show in 2010 called NFL Rush Zone: Guardians of the Core, a terrible Flash cartoon which aired on Nicktoons Network to complete apathy as it was pretty much a half-hour Infomercial for the league for kids. What little plot there was revolved around an Ancient Artifact called "The Core", and kids trying to get back team logo festooned shards to reform it while dealing with rather poor football-themed enemies and being assisted by football-themed allies.


For more information, watch Eyeshield 21 or Friday Night Lights. Or show up at a sports bar full of drunk Americans on an autumn weekend afternoon. Or any part of Texas, with anyone, at any time, especially if you like high school football. Or anywhere near a public television in a college on game day. For some of the more notable NFL plays, go here.

  1. This is because Tex Schramm, at one point the owner of the Cowboys, figured Dallas would be better served to be in NFC East because much of the media runs through the Northeast. Therefore, the Cowboys would be ensured some of the best media coverage, and it paid off.
  2. since the team was created from the Cleveland Browns
  3. this team was originally from Baltimore, which as noted is south-ish
  4. originally from Los Angeles
  5. Even worse, the Arizona Cardinals (once located in St. Louis) played in the NFC East from 1988 to 2001.
  6. ...which itself was unseated by Super Bowl XLV the following year.
  7. A yard is .9144 meters for you metric folks
  8. Even some of the players didn't know this was possible when the most recent tie game was played in 2008, probably owing to vastly different overtime rules for college football, where most NFL players come from
  9. Today this sounds like a stupid reason to pre-empt a football game, but it was a different time. Football was still something of a niche sport, while "Heidi" was a major ratings draw for NBC. NBC aired "Heidi" just once a year; since there were three channels and no such thing as home video, families had planned their evening around the film, because this was their only chance to see it all year
  10. Don't be surprised if you've never seen a dropkick PAT attempted; the technique fell into disuse decades ago.
  11. In the event of a turnover, the play ends in the NFL. In college, the defender can score two points for his team if he carries it ALL the way back to the other end zone. Very rare--it requires a fumble or an interception followed by a roughly 100 yard dash, carrying the ball with 11 angry men in pursuit.
  12. the punt in this situation is technically called a "free kick". The major difference is that the team is lined up as though the play is a kick off, but the kicker begins with the ball in his hands and is not allowed to kick it off a tee
  13. Technically, there are no officially required positions, or for that matter formations, on the defensive side as there are on the offensive. The position names have simply developed through the years to describe the most efficient methods thus far found to succeed at their task of preventing the offense from scoring.
  14. this is due to practicalities of the practice schedule and roster rules. Because playbooks are so large in the NFL both the starting quarterback and backup quarterback are required to study and practice the plays the offense will be running during the game. If there is a third quarterback on the team he cannot take the field unless the starter and backup have both been ruled ineligible (injured or unable to play) for the remainder of the game. This makes it impractical to have the quarterback-skilled player receiving the snap and there is a small danger involved in handling the snaps if the QB's hand accidentally gets kicked. Finally, the special teams players are usually left to their own to practice kicks so the punter gets the most practice in holding the football for placekicks
  15. 1965-1967, Packers, after already almost accomplishing it once before with them by losing the championship game in 1960 to Philadelphia, followed by back-to-back championships in '61 and '62
  16. his first year with the Packers, then first with the Redskins
  17. who recently proclaimed himself a "Patriot killer", due to him being involved (directly or indirectly) in the injuries of Wes Welker (as a member of the Texans) and Rob Gronkowski (as a member of the Ravens) in 2009 and 2012, respectively
  18. NFL Rule 3, Section 22, Article 2, Note 2: When [an offensive] player is holding the ball to pass it forward, any intentional forward movement of his arm starts a forward pass, even if the player loses possession of the ball as he is attempting to tuck it back toward his body. Also, if the player has tucked the ball into his body and then loses possession, it is a fumble
  19. Their official stance seems to be that as long as the hair doesn't cover the name on the back of his jersey, it's good.
  20. which, incidentally, Myth Busters found to be worse for punting distance
  21. and none of them can ever own more than 200,000 shares, about 5% of the total stock
  22. originally this meant that if the team disbanded, the remaining assets would go to build what would probably be an incredibly grand soldier's monument these days, but currently it would be distributed to charity
  23. (the actress who plays Lisbeth in the American The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo films in fact is named Rooney Mara, as she is related to both latter families; her sister Kate is also an accomplished actress)
  24. Norris is a former (1974-1993) division of the National Hockey League. So called by Chris Berman of ESPN because the chilly-ranging-to-frigid fall and winter weather of the member cities seems amenable to hockey, and that all of them but Green Bay had NHL teams in the Norris.
  25. as the Dayton Triangles
  26. The band still exists and is the official marching band of the Ravens. Its attempts to stay in Baltimore despite the lack of a team were featured in an ESPN 30 for 30 documentary.
  27. the largest allowed by current NFL rules, as well as the largest fine levied against a coach
  28. although, this is somewhat misleading as they also draw heavily from the remainder of Wisconsin (especially Milwaukee, which is subject to the same blackout rules as Green Bay) and Michigan's Upper Peninsula.
  29. you might think this means the grass is absolutely terrible to play on by the time January comes around, but thanks to a highly esteemed and obsessive grounds crew, a marquee field heating system, and the team's aversion to lease out the stadium to concerts and any other teams like high schoolers to ruin the turf, the Tundra has been termed one of the best sports surfaces in the world by the players and sports-related media
  30. Unfavorably, but a typical Eagles fan looks at an English soccer hooligan and goes, "Oh, how cute; does he know any other tricks?"
  31. This is the city's biggest Never Live It Down moment and has become a case of Did Not Do the Research for fans of other teams that like to cite it as recent history; the incident occurred in 1968 and the full story can be found here and here
  32. Hall of Famer Michael Irvin
  33. OK, just Jerry Rice
  34. The guys who made the Packer Power Sweep an unstoppable play, back in the 1960s...
  35. Although for Vick's case, when we say "down years" we mean "prison sentence and Unperson status"
  36. Although his one good NFL season was followed by an excellent season in the lone season of the XFL
  37. and Australia, and Ireland, and South Africa, and Japan, with varying levels of ambiguity
  38. in fact, in its first two seasons (as the WLAF), it had North American teams as well before switching to Europe-only and changing its name to NFL Europe
  39. Additionally, there is just one player that played with the CFL at some point in their career who is in the Pro Football Hall of Fame: Quarterback Warren Moon (who after playing a couple very good years with the Edmonton Eskimos, went on to an outstanding NFL career)
  40. It was renamed NFL Europa starting after its penultimate season
  41. That was Mini Zombie, and he got a touchdown even through he got tackled.
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