Farm-Fresh balance.pngYMMVTransmit blue.pngRadarWikEd fancyquotes.pngQuotes • (Emoticon happy.pngFunnyHeart.pngHeartwarmingSilk award star gold 3.pngAwesome) • Refridgerator.pngFridgeGroup.pngCharactersScript edit.pngFanfic RecsSkull0.pngNightmare FuelRsz 1rsz 2rsz 1shout-out icon.pngShout OutMagnifier.pngPlotGota icono.pngTear JerkerBug-silk.pngHeadscratchersHelp.pngTriviaWMGFilmRoll-small.pngRecapRainbow.pngHo YayPhoto link.pngImage LinksNyan-Cat-Original.pngMemesHaiku-wide-icon.pngHaikuLaconicLibrary science symbol .svg SourceSetting
Cquote1.svg
Oh my god, Stan has no friends and he doesn't even realize it. He's like America: The Guy!
Roger
Cquote2.svg
Cquote1.svg
For the second time my life has been saved by hip hop. But that's another story.
Stan Smith, Finances With Wolves
Cquote2.svg


Cquote1.svg

Stan:: Francine, we can’t do this in the house of the Lord. This is wrong.

Francine:: Then I’ve been naughty and you'll have to put a big piece of coal in my stocking.

Stan: Damn your clumsy Christmas-sex metaphors! [Amorously grabs Francine]
—"Rapture's Delight"
Cquote2.svg
Cquote1.svg
"Hey, all I was trying to do was keep my country and my family safe!"
Stan Smith, Homeland Insecurity
Cquote2.svg
Cquote1.svg
"...And, just like that I'm gay."
Klaus, after seeing a disturbing shot of a lady
Cquote2.svg
Cquote1.svg

Michelle: Actually, you get smaller and cuter every time you win a case.

Stan: Oh my god, we're doomed! Look at him, he's cuter than a puppy and a kitten trying to get in the same slipper!
—Stan, getting a trial in heaven.
Cquote2.svg
Cquote1.svg

 Stan: That man just rode me like an animal for three hours. Do you have any idea how that feels?

Haley: (raises an eyebrow)

Stan: And now I'm not hungry anymore.

Cquote2.svg
Cquote1.svg
"Some say that was the end of Klaus' story. Some say it was just the beginning. No one ever says it was the middle."
—A Narrator, after Klaus enters a castle in a hotel fish tank.
Cquote2.svg
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.