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- In one Coach Kreeton sketch, he has to babysit a young boy. When the boy wants to hear a story, Coach Kreeton reads him one about himself.
"Once upon a time, there was a sad miserable man named Coach Kreeton. That's ME!"
- In another one:
Girl: Can I go to the restroom?
Coach Kreeton: NOOOOOO!! YOU'RE GONNA SIT THERE UNTIL YOU EXPLOOODE!!!
- An early Ms. Fingerly sketch where the students are taking a test and one girl keeps cheating in different ways (looking over someone, asking someone, using a telescope become a student was covering her answers, using a ham radio, and finally asking Abraham Lincoln himself). Ms. Fingerly had enough and took her to the principal's office. As soon as they leave, the students start asking each other for answers, asking Lincoln, and using the radio.
- All of the absurd pieces of advice from "Vital Information for your Everyday Life" sketches. For example:
Lori Beth Denberg: If you're doing your homework and it's too hard, don't go up to the teacher and say, "This homework is too hard! Now give me a big wet kiss!"
- "Miz Piddlin almost let her maniacal rage get the best of her!"