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File:Actsofgord 5064.jpg

Gord is a local deity. Very local. He's a regular guy who owns a game store, and that makes him God over that store and its customers. Well, technically no one ever claim that Gord would be a god; it's just that the whole story of how he's running the store and deals with all kinds of moronic customers is written in the form of scripture. The nickname "Gord" helps as well.

Acts of Gord is an archive of true anecdotes about the Gamer's Edge Video Game shop in Penticton, British Columbia, Canada. Basically, this site is a mix of sarcastic storytelling and a Not Always Right focused on the rise and fall of a single retail establishment.

Acts of Gord provides examples of:

 "And the winner of the tournament won the controllers that were opened for the tournament (worth $80), and $20 in cash. Second place was a can of coke and an autographed picture of Gord. Third place was $20.

The Gord likes to remind people that second place is just the first loser."

  • Schmuck Bait
    • On numerous occasions, Gord would price crappy games higher than they were worth, or place broken hardware in tantalizing places, just to see if someone would steal them.
    • Another favorite pastime of Gord's is to take old crappy games and tag them with a sign that says, "Hey, I suck! Buy me!" The author notes with amusement that any game the sign is placed on sells out within a couple of days.
  • Stealth Insult: Book of Annoyances, Chapter 3;

 Gord: I'm sorry, I'm afraid I subscribe to the theory of intellectual osmosis. As such, I must now cease our conversation and move away from you before my intelligence begins to drop. Good day.

The beauty of that is that another costumer had to explain to the guy what he meant.

 Talking to a person about being into the hardcore gaming scene is completely different than talking to them about the hardcore anime scene. In future, I must find a new adjective.

And do not, I repeat, do not say "if she is really into the hardcore anime scene, I can get import DVD's from Japan and Hong Kong" when I'm talking to a 14 year old girl's mother.

Further notation: Do not attempt to salvage this by then saying "I mean, I can get DVD's from Japan that you can't get here."

Next time, say "really likes anime" and "can get DVD's not on sale here yet."

Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.